time
The sun has set and risen on a new day, and I'm yet to be a fraction of an inch closer to dealing with the...well the elephant...following me around. He's pink too, but that might be a side-effect of the drinking.
Its ironic how a decision of the same magnitude even just 3 years ago could have little of no effect on life. How the words "young" and "time" are comforts, a fleeting permanence yet to be recognized. Yet now, the heaviness of time weighs upon onces soul and heart with greater urgency. Age and time are no longer limitless concepts, no longer comforts. The realization of one's mortality catches up with time. Salvation is now in the form of the loved ones you share your life with. Most importantly, whom you chose to share your life with. One slip in judgment can lead to a lifetime of pain. Or worse, starting over.
Starting over implies that you've failed. Implies that you were foolish, wrong in judgment. To be so close, and to find yourself at the beginning again...I cannot fathom a more terrifying fate. Not in love. Anything but love.
I've said it once, and I'll say it again. This isn't child's play. Words do not speak louder than actions, and actions do not speak louder than words. Actions and words together are a marriage that speak volumes together, jumbled confusion alone. I cannot take one without the other. I cannot gamble my heart to the fate and hope of words or actions alone. To many mistakes are made that way, and I've seen them in all their severity.
To work, to ponder.
Its ironic how a decision of the same magnitude even just 3 years ago could have little of no effect on life. How the words "young" and "time" are comforts, a fleeting permanence yet to be recognized. Yet now, the heaviness of time weighs upon onces soul and heart with greater urgency. Age and time are no longer limitless concepts, no longer comforts. The realization of one's mortality catches up with time. Salvation is now in the form of the loved ones you share your life with. Most importantly, whom you chose to share your life with. One slip in judgment can lead to a lifetime of pain. Or worse, starting over.
Starting over implies that you've failed. Implies that you were foolish, wrong in judgment. To be so close, and to find yourself at the beginning again...I cannot fathom a more terrifying fate. Not in love. Anything but love.
I've said it once, and I'll say it again. This isn't child's play. Words do not speak louder than actions, and actions do not speak louder than words. Actions and words together are a marriage that speak volumes together, jumbled confusion alone. I cannot take one without the other. I cannot gamble my heart to the fate and hope of words or actions alone. To many mistakes are made that way, and I've seen them in all their severity.
To work, to ponder.