Cylons are in pain, too
Title: Just Another Try
Author: coldspace
Characters: D´Anna Biers
Spoilers: S3 up to Ep8 - Hero
Summary: sometimes it´s not so much fun to be a cylon, either
Word Count: about 700
Disclaimer: right, I guess we all know they are not mine...
Just Another Try
She stared the centurion straight into it’s red eye, trying to ignore her growing dread. When she had started out she had hoped it would get easier but instead it had become harder with every try.
Her hands shook slightly, and drops of cold sweat appeared on her forehead but there was no hesitation in her voice. It was the only chance she had to get closer, to maybe understand a part of gods will. Her command rang loud and clear through the empty hallway.
“Execute”.
When the bullet hit her it was right between the eyes, and D´Anna was dead even before her body hit the floor.
For a short blissful moment her mind just kind of floated, darkness and light stretched out in front of her, engulfing her, and she felt a peace she had never known in life.
It was like seeing a glimpse of god, like being touched by him at the very core of her soul. She struggled, wanting to stay at this wonderful place but she could already feel an insistent pull, and although she tried to fight it she somehow knew there was no escaping it.
Slowly she was sucked away and with utter helplessness she felt the pain starting. It appeared on the edges of her consciousness pressing closer and closer until it speared through her like hot iron.
She would have screamed but she had no voice, no body - it was just her mind trapped in this horrible place where she could feel nothing but hurt. D´Anna was dimly aware that she was not alone, there were voices around her, faces and for some reason she knew it was important to pay attention to them, to try to understand what they were saying but she couldn’t tear away from the red hot pain. There were shadows looming over her, a dark haired man, his mouth moving urgently but as hard as she tried she couldn’t make out his words.
Next to him was a woman but there was bright light coming from behind her and D´Anna couldn’t even make out her features.
Still she tried to burn whatever she could see and hear into her mind, wanting with everything that was left of her to capture these images somewhere inside her where they couldn’t get lost. She knew all this suffering would be worth it if she could just remember.
There was a bright white flash and again it crushed in on her, this time even worse than before and she couldn’t bear it, it was simply too much. Terror gripped her, and then her mind burst under the relentless force and splintered into millions of pieces.
She screamed and screamed, pain and horror filling her voice and this time she could actually hear herself. The shadows were back but this time she could see them more clearly, a woman was stroking her hair and murmuring soothing words.
Suddenly all her memories came crashing back and she recognised her, it was one of the six models and there were two eight models as well, trying to reassure her. Slowly she realised she was back in life; she could feel her new body and the cool fluid around it.
She took a few deep breaths as the spasms slowly subsided. “It’s gonna be okay”, the eight model murmured right next to her.
D´Anna still struggled with all the images from her former lives whirling through her head when she suddenly remembered why she had died this time and the many times before.
Gods plan, the final five.
Frantically she sorted through her memories, searching. Nothing. She tried again, her features scrunched together in desperate concentration. Again she couldn’t come up with anything.
It took her a couple of seconds before she realized that there was nothing there, and when she did D´Anna screamed again, this time with a frustration that made the six model back away in shock. When her voice finally gave out D´Anna couldn’t help the single tear from running down her cheek. All the pain, the hurt, the whole download experience had been for nothing this time.
She couldn’t remember anything at all.