Some things and some others.
After months of deliberation and a slight swaying back and forth constant, push and pull of the moon etc, I have finally made an appointment with a therapist. I'm pretty excited. Its been a few years since I've been in counseling of any kind, and I done straight up fuckin' lied through my teeth to that guy, just for fun. Just for fuckin' fun.
So we'll see how this goes. Its high time for me; I been everyone's counselor but my own. And although I'm altogether thrilled about slipping a bit and the possiblity of falling into old/bad habits, the rational side of me (that the rest of my hates) won't allow for it. Push/pull. Fuck/frig.
I want to be in my bed always. I look forward to things all week, and then when the fuckin clock rolls around, I'm all "shit, wheres my jersey cotton at?" and then I haven't got time for anything except my damn depression. I can't let this happen again, at this point in my life. The things that I want now have changed so drastically from my abilities and needs and goals, it won't line up. Fuck though. Friggity fuck. I want to grow up, not plug my damn roots further into the friggin' ground than they already friggin' are. Fuck.I'm so stoic.Fuck.
Either way, I'm getting to go to that wonderful engagment party for Paulie and Erica (Dan's brother and his fiancee.) this weekend, and I'm bouncing around, cause I can't wait to dress up all hotsy totsy. My life is pain. I like to pretend most things are cigars.
Get me someone, anyone!
I'm hungry and poor. Help me.
So we'll see how this goes. Its high time for me; I been everyone's counselor but my own. And although I'm altogether thrilled about slipping a bit and the possiblity of falling into old/bad habits, the rational side of me (that the rest of my hates) won't allow for it. Push/pull. Fuck/frig.
I want to be in my bed always. I look forward to things all week, and then when the fuckin clock rolls around, I'm all "shit, wheres my jersey cotton at?" and then I haven't got time for anything except my damn depression. I can't let this happen again, at this point in my life. The things that I want now have changed so drastically from my abilities and needs and goals, it won't line up. Fuck though. Friggity fuck. I want to grow up, not plug my damn roots further into the friggin' ground than they already friggin' are. Fuck.I'm so stoic.Fuck.
Either way, I'm getting to go to that wonderful engagment party for Paulie and Erica (Dan's brother and his fiancee.) this weekend, and I'm bouncing around, cause I can't wait to dress up all hotsy totsy. My life is pain. I like to pretend most things are cigars.
Get me someone, anyone!
I'm hungry and poor. Help me.