(no subject)
All I did was to secure my family, protect the people I love as well as my dream of working in the hospitality sector.
I didn't cry in front of anyone, didn't say a word about how much I was enduring for the people that means something in my life.
I entered TRM despite objections from my brother, my father and to some extent, my mom.
They said a business course isn't suitable for me.
They said that I would never live happily and study efficiently in a business school because of my personality.
They said that given my personality, I wouldn't be able to withstand the hardships in life given in the business industry, especially the service sector.
They worried that I will not find a stable job after graduation.
They worry about my future that might not be what I expected. They worried about me being unhappy.
My mom worried that I might not be able to handle the stress I had to face due to strong competition in the business school.
She always mentions that I work too hard for my own good.
And because knowing my decisions wouldn't be affected by what anyone says, they still gave in, because this IS my life afterall.
But they still didn't understand and still doubt my abilities even up till now. Sure, they act like they support me, but I know that they still doubt my decisions from time to time.
They show it unconsciously sometimes, you know.
I've yearned for a complete family like what my friends around me keep talking about. Loving parents and understanding siblings.
But my father did not think any of it, apparently, judging by his actions for the past 4 years.
He always thought I was oblivious to everything, and thinks that I'm a materialistic person. He thinks I do things for the fun of it and to kill time and boredom.
He thinks I have no plans for my own future.
He thinks that even if it's not a business course, if I were to choose a science course, I wouldn't be able to handle it.
He didn't trust my way of doing things.
That might be true, because I'm still young, there's still many things left in this world that I'm not aware of.
But he never knew before sec 3, I had no dream at all. I was good at everything, if I wanted it.
In the past, my main motivation was to please my parents, so I tried my best at everything.
Hence, my grades were a little better than my peers, though not excellent to obtain scholarships and such.
I even tried to hone my language skills by being a translator for online forums, and earned a LITTLE fame on other international forums for my work. (That was in the past)
I used to pursue a future of a lawyer, not because I liked it, but because my grandmother hoped for it to happen, at some point of time.
Because of that, I took an interest in shows related to law and paid attention to news articles regarding law issues.
But that wasn't my dream that I started. Only after sec 3 and enrolled in AEM at SP for TRM, I started to realise, I like how the service sector worked. It pleased me to know that I can make people other than people I love happy.
The things taught in TRM interests me. That was a first. Because in the past, since I could get whatever results if I wanted it to happen, nothing seems interest me anymore.
So I didn't know what to do about my future that would make me happy.
Only after the AEM, I started to have a goal of my own to achieve, for my sake and not for anybody else.
For the first time, there was something what I wanted to do. I finally found something other than fangirling that I LIKED.
All I wanted to do is secure the important things and people I hold close to my heart and protect my one and only dream.
And yet, no one in the world takes me seriously.
I didn't cry in front of anyone, didn't say a word about how much I was enduring for the people that means something in my life.
I entered TRM despite objections from my brother, my father and to some extent, my mom.
They said a business course isn't suitable for me.
They said that I would never live happily and study efficiently in a business school because of my personality.
They said that given my personality, I wouldn't be able to withstand the hardships in life given in the business industry, especially the service sector.
They worried that I will not find a stable job after graduation.
They worry about my future that might not be what I expected. They worried about me being unhappy.
My mom worried that I might not be able to handle the stress I had to face due to strong competition in the business school.
She always mentions that I work too hard for my own good.
And because knowing my decisions wouldn't be affected by what anyone says, they still gave in, because this IS my life afterall.
But they still didn't understand and still doubt my abilities even up till now. Sure, they act like they support me, but I know that they still doubt my decisions from time to time.
They show it unconsciously sometimes, you know.
I've yearned for a complete family like what my friends around me keep talking about. Loving parents and understanding siblings.
But my father did not think any of it, apparently, judging by his actions for the past 4 years.
He always thought I was oblivious to everything, and thinks that I'm a materialistic person. He thinks I do things for the fun of it and to kill time and boredom.
He thinks I have no plans for my own future.
He thinks that even if it's not a business course, if I were to choose a science course, I wouldn't be able to handle it.
He didn't trust my way of doing things.
That might be true, because I'm still young, there's still many things left in this world that I'm not aware of.
But he never knew before sec 3, I had no dream at all. I was good at everything, if I wanted it.
In the past, my main motivation was to please my parents, so I tried my best at everything.
Hence, my grades were a little better than my peers, though not excellent to obtain scholarships and such.
I even tried to hone my language skills by being a translator for online forums, and earned a LITTLE fame on other international forums for my work. (That was in the past)
I used to pursue a future of a lawyer, not because I liked it, but because my grandmother hoped for it to happen, at some point of time.
Because of that, I took an interest in shows related to law and paid attention to news articles regarding law issues.
But that wasn't my dream that I started. Only after sec 3 and enrolled in AEM at SP for TRM, I started to realise, I like how the service sector worked. It pleased me to know that I can make people other than people I love happy.
The things taught in TRM interests me. That was a first. Because in the past, since I could get whatever results if I wanted it to happen, nothing seems interest me anymore.
So I didn't know what to do about my future that would make me happy.
Only after the AEM, I started to have a goal of my own to achieve, for my sake and not for anybody else.
For the first time, there was something what I wanted to do. I finally found something other than fangirling that I LIKED.
All I wanted to do is secure the important things and people I hold close to my heart and protect my one and only dream.
And yet, no one in the world takes me seriously.