(no subject)
I'm not going to make it to Babalon Rising this week unless I go late Saturday night. Which is ironic, because the first two years I missed the Feast of the Beast for some reason, and this year I'll barely arrive before the Feast of the Beast starts.
One of my coworkers told me in no uncertain terms that she wasn't working this Friday. (which is NOT my normal day to work either, btw). I told my coworkers & boss about this festival when I started in January, but the coworker who's refusing to work is also the one who covered for me & worked a double shift when I took the day off to go to my grandmother's funeral.
My maternal grandmother died the Friday before Mother's Day. She had become ill & we were warned that she only had a few weeks left. She got to say goodbye & make her peace with God before she went & she told my mother she was ready, so this didn't shock my mother as much as losing her twin sister in a car accident the day after Thanksgiving.
Now my parents are dealing with my grandfather dictating to them what they will and will not do with their spare time, their weekends, their garden, holidays, etc. This is not a response to my grandmother's death, this is just how he always was-before, he just had to make sure he was dictating my parents' time in accordance with my grandmother's schedule also.
I wasn't close to my grandmother and I'm not close to/going to get close to my grandfather. They ignored me & my family until about four years ago, and as they were (and he is) controlling and abusive, I look back on this as somewhat of a blessing. My grandmother was physically abusive toward my mother and my aunt, and my grandfather has consistently shown himself to be controlling, inconsiderate, and unkind.
I'm not sure how to be supportive of my mother without allowing my grandfather's behavior affect me. I already struggle with trying to avoid my brother as much as possible without hurting my mother's feelings, and that gets tricky enough.
Maybe it makes me a bad person, but there are members of my family with I want nothing to do with, and others that I limit my exposure to.
My first visit back to my parents' home after moving away, my sister remarked that I looked younger, healthier, and happier, almost radiantly happy. I haven't been a little ray of sunshine lately, but the improvement in my overall mental health is the primary reason I wish to never move back home. I just don't always know how to deal with the family members I could do without ever speaking to again.