Mom update
Ignore this post if you've no urge to read
2 of Mom's 3 sentinel node biopsies came back positive, which means more cutting on tuesday. And more discomfort, and more pain meds. And longer to heal before starting therapy.
They've decided to add chemo, which I didn't want to hear. She's feeling fine now, but as I've heard many times, after a diagnosis, expect the next 3 months to be the worst of your life. I'll be here until the 23rd, so I can help her settle into her routine of chemo and radiation. After that, my brother will here for a couple weeks, so she'll have family around to support her. I may be here longer if there are complications.
Dad is certainly no help, he's just fretful and angry all the time, which does more harm that good. I have to keep mom comfortable, relaxed (lots of pep talks), informed and busy, and keep dad away from conversations besides basic information. His angry frustrated, terrified, helpless position is translated into contant useless talk that is always negative, angry and does more harm than good. Oh wait, that's how he is ALL the time, nothing new.
She's so perky and acting normal, you wouldn't know she'd been on the operating table a couple days ago.
I've gotten to that awkward spot that happens 4 days into living with ones parents. The old patterns, them treating me like I'm a kid (bring a sweater, remember the --, don't stay out late) and the general frustrations with not living in my house with my bed, my space, and my rules. I'm glad to be here to help mom, but I enjoy my time more when I'm not around the house, especially around dad. Weekends are hard because he's here all fucking day.
Maybe if I was dragging around a couple screaming brats while I was here, they'd see me differently, as a parent, not their kid. Mom is pretty good, and getting better about it every time we're together, but dad, who wasn't around for the first 20 years of my life, does't understand that I'm done being raised, and he should stop being a dada. Cause he doesn't come across as a dad, he's just a prick. Oh god, and the only thing he can talk about (because he has NO HOBBIES or interests) is politics. And it always starts off as 'those liberal assholes...'. or 'If jimmy carter hadn't...', and he just gets more and more mad from there. Even if no one in the room says a thing, he just winds himself up. After that latest terrorist threat that was thwarted in London, he's even more of a huffy windbag.
You know that movie 'Twins' w/ DiVito and Swartzenegger? My parents are like that. Every good trait I learned/inherited from my mom, every shitty annoying asshole trait came straight from daddy. If you cut me in half, you'd get mom, and dad. There is not a single thing I've gotten from him that is the least bit positive. I've looked, I've really tried. But if you meet my dad, within 5 minutes you'll know exactly what I'm talking about. "Wow, all the stupid annoying pissy things you do, are what your dad does all the time."
Did I mention before that I hate my father? I keep hoping that I'd let go of it. And I do, when I don't have to live in the same house. But now that I'm here, all that work of 'forgiving' and 'letting go' has gone out the window, and he's nothing but a fucking prick again. Why was Mom the one who got sick? She's the one I care about.
2 of Mom's 3 sentinel node biopsies came back positive, which means more cutting on tuesday. And more discomfort, and more pain meds. And longer to heal before starting therapy.
They've decided to add chemo, which I didn't want to hear. She's feeling fine now, but as I've heard many times, after a diagnosis, expect the next 3 months to be the worst of your life. I'll be here until the 23rd, so I can help her settle into her routine of chemo and radiation. After that, my brother will here for a couple weeks, so she'll have family around to support her. I may be here longer if there are complications.
Dad is certainly no help, he's just fretful and angry all the time, which does more harm that good. I have to keep mom comfortable, relaxed (lots of pep talks), informed and busy, and keep dad away from conversations besides basic information. His angry frustrated, terrified, helpless position is translated into contant useless talk that is always negative, angry and does more harm than good. Oh wait, that's how he is ALL the time, nothing new.
She's so perky and acting normal, you wouldn't know she'd been on the operating table a couple days ago.
I've gotten to that awkward spot that happens 4 days into living with ones parents. The old patterns, them treating me like I'm a kid (bring a sweater, remember the --, don't stay out late) and the general frustrations with not living in my house with my bed, my space, and my rules. I'm glad to be here to help mom, but I enjoy my time more when I'm not around the house, especially around dad. Weekends are hard because he's here all fucking day.
Maybe if I was dragging around a couple screaming brats while I was here, they'd see me differently, as a parent, not their kid. Mom is pretty good, and getting better about it every time we're together, but dad, who wasn't around for the first 20 years of my life, does't understand that I'm done being raised, and he should stop being a dada. Cause he doesn't come across as a dad, he's just a prick. Oh god, and the only thing he can talk about (because he has NO HOBBIES or interests) is politics. And it always starts off as 'those liberal assholes...'. or 'If jimmy carter hadn't...', and he just gets more and more mad from there. Even if no one in the room says a thing, he just winds himself up. After that latest terrorist threat that was thwarted in London, he's even more of a huffy windbag.
You know that movie 'Twins' w/ DiVito and Swartzenegger? My parents are like that. Every good trait I learned/inherited from my mom, every shitty annoying asshole trait came straight from daddy. If you cut me in half, you'd get mom, and dad. There is not a single thing I've gotten from him that is the least bit positive. I've looked, I've really tried. But if you meet my dad, within 5 minutes you'll know exactly what I'm talking about. "Wow, all the stupid annoying pissy things you do, are what your dad does all the time."
Did I mention before that I hate my father? I keep hoping that I'd let go of it. And I do, when I don't have to live in the same house. But now that I'm here, all that work of 'forgiving' and 'letting go' has gone out the window, and he's nothing but a fucking prick again. Why was Mom the one who got sick? She's the one I care about.