~*05 - Je Suis Père Noël, Grit, Tu Serais Mon Renne*~
What an ENJOYABLE and FUN TIME it has been BEING SANTA AT A DEPARTMENT STORE THIS WEEKEND.
I enjoy nothing more than having CRYING CHILDREN PLACED ON MY LAP, PULLING THE WHISKERS OUT OF MY FINELY KEPT BEARD, AND THEIR SHREWISH MOTHERS TRYING TO COAX THEIR PETULANT OFFSPRING INTO SHRIEKING WHATEVER OVER-PRICED COMMERCIAL GOODS MIGHT MAKE THEM STOP SHRIEKING FOR FIVE MINUTES BEFORE THE UNGRATEFUL CHILDREN GO BACK TO WAILING FOR SOMETHING NEW.
IN MY DAY WE GOT ONE THING FOR CHRISTMAS - ONE BALL FOR THE ENTIRE VILLAGE. AND WE WERE HAPPY TO HAVE IT. WE DIDN'T NEED MORE THAN ONE A YEAR. AND IF WE LOST IT OR RUINED IT IN MAY? THEN THE ENTIRE TOWN DID WITHOUT AND WE LEARNED THE VALUE OF FRUGALITY AND TAKING CARE OF OUR POSSESSIONS.
I'm not allowed to voice these statements while working, so you'll excuse me, I'M SURE, for venting them HERE on this JOURNAL that I'm REQUIRED TO KEEP.
That small pink round child has visited me at least a dozen times. And each time he says he wants CANDY and then I give him a CANDY CANE and he sort of TEARS UP and then HUGS ME and I DON'T REALLY HATE IT ALL THAT MUCH IT CONFUSES ME.
OH ALSO
GRIT, YOU LAZY SLUGGARD.
GRIT, ONE OF SANTA'S LITTLE HELPERS GOT SICK THE OTHER DAY WITH THE FLU, PROBABLY HE CAUGHT IT FROM THE HUNDREDS OF SNIFFLING CHILDREN HE HAD TO TAKE PHOTOS OF ALL DAY LONG. I, having grown up in the winter and cold AM USED TO WINTER ILLNESSES but apparently THE REINDEER WASN'T.
SO, GRIT, I VOLUNTEERED YOU TO TAKE HIS PLACE, SINCE I'M SURE YOU AREN'T DOING ANYTHING ELSE. YOU'RE MY NEW REINDEER, GRIT.
YOU'LL BE REPORTING WITH ME AT INVENTORYWORTH'S TOMORROW AT 3:30. WON'T THIS BE A LARK, GRIT? THE TWO OF US, WORKING TOGETHER. I HOPE YOU ENJOY YOUR ANTLERS, GRIT.
I enjoy nothing more than having CRYING CHILDREN PLACED ON MY LAP, PULLING THE WHISKERS OUT OF MY FINELY KEPT BEARD, AND THEIR SHREWISH MOTHERS TRYING TO COAX THEIR PETULANT OFFSPRING INTO SHRIEKING WHATEVER OVER-PRICED COMMERCIAL GOODS MIGHT MAKE THEM STOP SHRIEKING FOR FIVE MINUTES BEFORE THE UNGRATEFUL CHILDREN GO BACK TO WAILING FOR SOMETHING NEW.
IN MY DAY WE GOT ONE THING FOR CHRISTMAS - ONE BALL FOR THE ENTIRE VILLAGE. AND WE WERE HAPPY TO HAVE IT. WE DIDN'T NEED MORE THAN ONE A YEAR. AND IF WE LOST IT OR RUINED IT IN MAY? THEN THE ENTIRE TOWN DID WITHOUT AND WE LEARNED THE VALUE OF FRUGALITY AND TAKING CARE OF OUR POSSESSIONS.
I'm not allowed to voice these statements while working, so you'll excuse me, I'M SURE, for venting them HERE on this JOURNAL that I'm REQUIRED TO KEEP.
That small pink round child has visited me at least a dozen times. And each time he says he wants CANDY and then I give him a CANDY CANE and he sort of TEARS UP and then HUGS ME and I DON'T REALLY HATE IT ALL THAT MUCH IT CONFUSES ME.
OH ALSO
GRIT, YOU LAZY SLUGGARD.
GRIT, ONE OF SANTA'S LITTLE HELPERS GOT SICK THE OTHER DAY WITH THE FLU, PROBABLY HE CAUGHT IT FROM THE HUNDREDS OF SNIFFLING CHILDREN HE HAD TO TAKE PHOTOS OF ALL DAY LONG. I, having grown up in the winter and cold AM USED TO WINTER ILLNESSES but apparently THE REINDEER WASN'T.
SO, GRIT, I VOLUNTEERED YOU TO TAKE HIS PLACE, SINCE I'M SURE YOU AREN'T DOING ANYTHING ELSE. YOU'RE MY NEW REINDEER, GRIT.
YOU'LL BE REPORTING WITH ME AT INVENTORYWORTH'S TOMORROW AT 3:30. WON'T THIS BE A LARK, GRIT? THE TWO OF US, WORKING TOGETHER. I HOPE YOU ENJOY YOUR ANTLERS, GRIT.