coach turner, the biggest hypocrite/asshole on the planet
there are times when its so hard to ever believe in myself...that i will ever be better from my disorder, will get back to running the way i used to., or that i'll ever accomplish anything with out it.
everyday i wanna lie in bed and just pray/wish that i was in the 2nd semester of my freshmen year. maybe i could've warned myself that this was going to happen to me...but would i have listened anyway?
but just when i beginto believe in myself again, coach turner always has a way of making me feel like i'm anything but special & that i've been a waste of his precious scholarship money.
maybe im just super sensitive about myself these days, but sometimes i get that impression that he's beyond disappointment
so many things are racing through my mind today. esp since he made me feel really bad about myself just a few hours ago. i feel like he thinks he doesnt need me even more now since megan ran 8 seconds better than her previous 1500m time last night...i guess he thinks its ok for him to treat me like dirt now...
I just wanna prove to him that i am still a fighter deep inside. damnit every day i fight more physical and psychological aspects of my life than he does with his wife. (haha)
this emotionally weak person thats been brought out this year is not me. im tough & strong and have enough tenacity to take an entire team of runners (that is when, im physically fit).
i can't wait to start racing and get fst again to just prove to him and everyone else in on my team that i'm not done & that im planning on some surprises next fall. watch out.
everyday i wanna lie in bed and just pray/wish that i was in the 2nd semester of my freshmen year. maybe i could've warned myself that this was going to happen to me...but would i have listened anyway?
but just when i beginto believe in myself again, coach turner always has a way of making me feel like i'm anything but special & that i've been a waste of his precious scholarship money.
maybe im just super sensitive about myself these days, but sometimes i get that impression that he's beyond disappointment
so many things are racing through my mind today. esp since he made me feel really bad about myself just a few hours ago. i feel like he thinks he doesnt need me even more now since megan ran 8 seconds better than her previous 1500m time last night...i guess he thinks its ok for him to treat me like dirt now...
I just wanna prove to him that i am still a fighter deep inside. damnit every day i fight more physical and psychological aspects of my life than he does with his wife. (haha)
this emotionally weak person thats been brought out this year is not me. im tough & strong and have enough tenacity to take an entire team of runners (that is when, im physically fit).
i can't wait to start racing and get fst again to just prove to him and everyone else in on my team that i'm not done & that im planning on some surprises next fall. watch out.