(no subject)
i havent updated for a couple a weeks because i wanted to give myself some time to kind of grow a little bit. i thought, because of spring break coming up and now already done, it would be a perfect time to take a small break and try to enjoy the positive things in life.
i went home for a couple of days.
most of the time it was not easy to deal, especialy around meal times, but it did kind of help me become a little more normal. i ate when the family ate, like i always do, but there were times when i could feel myself folding back into my tiny bud.
a few deep breaths here and there and i was eventually fine.
coping with normality is something i definately need to work on. not eveyrthing can be tailored to meet and fit my needs. going back home kind of reminds me of that. there, i can't control everything the way i do like how i can in houston.
control,to me, is everything. its funny how lack of control is what a lot of people want in there lives. to be free and let things be, is what i wish i were. control runs my life and i am ok with that. maybe im just used to being controlled tha i dont even recognize it anymore, but honestly i like strucutre in my life.
i cant remember a time when i wasnt picky about anything. i have always been pretty organized and put-together, so to speak.
home...you'd think that be a place where there'd be order, but really through my eyes, its a place of unorganization. where literally everything has a mind of its own and has freedom.
i went home for a couple of days.
most of the time it was not easy to deal, especialy around meal times, but it did kind of help me become a little more normal. i ate when the family ate, like i always do, but there were times when i could feel myself folding back into my tiny bud.
a few deep breaths here and there and i was eventually fine.
coping with normality is something i definately need to work on. not eveyrthing can be tailored to meet and fit my needs. going back home kind of reminds me of that. there, i can't control everything the way i do like how i can in houston.
control,to me, is everything. its funny how lack of control is what a lot of people want in there lives. to be free and let things be, is what i wish i were. control runs my life and i am ok with that. maybe im just used to being controlled tha i dont even recognize it anymore, but honestly i like strucutre in my life.
i cant remember a time when i wasnt picky about anything. i have always been pretty organized and put-together, so to speak.
home...you'd think that be a place where there'd be order, but really through my eyes, its a place of unorganization. where literally everything has a mind of its own and has freedom.