(no subject)
yesterday was the first day of conference usa indoor championships.
i was a little nervous for some particular reasons: i didnt want to lose my top 5 spot in 5k and if my team wins conference i wont get a conference ring because i am not participating.
well i dont have to worry about my top5 spot because my best friend megan didnt break 18 minutes. how awful is it that i underlyingly wish that my bff doesnt do better than me? am i really that selfish and competitive?
of course i feel bad that she didnt do as great as she was hoping to, but i am relieved that nobody else has yet to run faster than what i'd done last year as a freshman.
watching the 5k race yesterday i couldnt believe that i was doing so well and so stupid not really even realize it. for a freshman i was pretty damn good, but i didnt believe or think so. yes i was happy that i was running faster than i'd ever done in my life, but i wanted more. frankly i still do. i could've been so much better this year, so much stronger, faster and smarter too....
it's easy to feel sad, depressed, and get stuck in your lonliness (which is what i've done) but right now i feel like i have so much potential despite all of the things that happened to me. everyone goes through and injury, so i know deep inside that i will come back even stronger and faster than what i was before. this pain and hurt that feel inside because i cant run, will hopefully motivate me to never feel this way again. to be thankful for what i've got and take everyday i get to run as a blessing.
i feellike maybe it was god's way of telling and showing me that there are more important things in life, i just needed something to remind me of it. i feel like i am so much of a better teammate too. when my teammates are having a rough day or feel like there season's over i remind them that it isnt and its over when you are really injured & that so much can still happen through outdoor. i'm more able to be there when they need someone to emotionally pick them up because they've done it for me so many times this year...
i was a little nervous for some particular reasons: i didnt want to lose my top 5 spot in 5k and if my team wins conference i wont get a conference ring because i am not participating.
well i dont have to worry about my top5 spot because my best friend megan didnt break 18 minutes. how awful is it that i underlyingly wish that my bff doesnt do better than me? am i really that selfish and competitive?
of course i feel bad that she didnt do as great as she was hoping to, but i am relieved that nobody else has yet to run faster than what i'd done last year as a freshman.
watching the 5k race yesterday i couldnt believe that i was doing so well and so stupid not really even realize it. for a freshman i was pretty damn good, but i didnt believe or think so. yes i was happy that i was running faster than i'd ever done in my life, but i wanted more. frankly i still do. i could've been so much better this year, so much stronger, faster and smarter too....
it's easy to feel sad, depressed, and get stuck in your lonliness (which is what i've done) but right now i feel like i have so much potential despite all of the things that happened to me. everyone goes through and injury, so i know deep inside that i will come back even stronger and faster than what i was before. this pain and hurt that feel inside because i cant run, will hopefully motivate me to never feel this way again. to be thankful for what i've got and take everyday i get to run as a blessing.
i feellike maybe it was god's way of telling and showing me that there are more important things in life, i just needed something to remind me of it. i feel like i am so much of a better teammate too. when my teammates are having a rough day or feel like there season's over i remind them that it isnt and its over when you are really injured & that so much can still happen through outdoor. i'm more able to be there when they need someone to emotionally pick them up because they've done it for me so many times this year...