(no subject)
I'm at work.
It's the end of the day and I feel
just about how I've felt from the moment I woke up
lost.
Like, when you are with your parents at the grocery store and you loose sight of them. Before the panic sets in, when you just look around. Confused. Slowly judging what you will do next. Isle 5? You're not sure. You have no clue infact, and the more your eyes search the more you feel lost.
In the place you've been a million times before, and still you feel lost.
That is exactly how I feel.
I don't know what to do.
I don't even know where to start.
and the more I look around the more I don't know.
I have these things I NEED to do.
and they are what I'm doing 80% of my time.
school. work. busy. bee.
Still, it feels like hours of stale moments in between.
driving. walking. acting like I'm there, but really I don't know what the people around me are saying. Larry says "goblly gook" and I walk away. Was I suppost to hear something? Did he just give me a task? I dont know. I keep walking. I dont care.
I've been getting an attitude with my coworkers, and not giving a shit about the residence.
More than just not giving a shit, I think I'm actually bashing them in my head with hammers.
Bad news.
That's all bad news.
So where's the good news.
The good news is
my Brother's had a baby.
and it is well, and laughs and cries.
I have
a lot of things.
a job.
a tomorrow. I mean hopefully.
some shoes.
hats.
a big heart.
open hands.
a neckless.
close to my heart.
ideas.
hair.
I guess I have things.
So that's good too.
dang i need to find myself though.
because i am surely missed.
by at least one person i know.
myself.
It's the end of the day and I feel
just about how I've felt from the moment I woke up
lost.
Like, when you are with your parents at the grocery store and you loose sight of them. Before the panic sets in, when you just look around. Confused. Slowly judging what you will do next. Isle 5? You're not sure. You have no clue infact, and the more your eyes search the more you feel lost.
In the place you've been a million times before, and still you feel lost.
That is exactly how I feel.
I don't know what to do.
I don't even know where to start.
and the more I look around the more I don't know.
I have these things I NEED to do.
and they are what I'm doing 80% of my time.
school. work. busy. bee.
Still, it feels like hours of stale moments in between.
driving. walking. acting like I'm there, but really I don't know what the people around me are saying. Larry says "goblly gook" and I walk away. Was I suppost to hear something? Did he just give me a task? I dont know. I keep walking. I dont care.
I've been getting an attitude with my coworkers, and not giving a shit about the residence.
More than just not giving a shit, I think I'm actually bashing them in my head with hammers.
Bad news.
That's all bad news.
So where's the good news.
The good news is
my Brother's had a baby.
and it is well, and laughs and cries.
I have
a lot of things.
a job.
a tomorrow. I mean hopefully.
some shoes.
hats.
a big heart.
open hands.
a neckless.
close to my heart.
ideas.
hair.
I guess I have things.
So that's good too.
dang i need to find myself though.
because i am surely missed.
by at least one person i know.
myself.