Letting Go
The events of the past few days have let me understand the importance of letting things go. An exercise in impermanence. If you have been following my posts, you would know my frustration with the band since the beginning of my LJ life. In fact, it has escalated to the extent of pure hurt and disappointment with the individuals in the band.
Sure, they are doing well, with albums coming out, with ad placements, performances, and even MTVs (tentative). However, I just don't feel a need to reinforce myself with something shallow as this. In fact, for me, it's more like mild annoyances and interruptions to my life which culminated in my anger towards promises not kept and expectations in their part that I would be present for everything.
I will not say I did not warn them of this particular period of my life where I'm busy, because I did warn them. I will not say I am angry with them because they expect me to put my research life on hold for their crummy 2nd rate concert, because I'm only annoyed. I shall not say I am not wrong, because I know that ignoring their calls are not ethical. But I shall not stand for blatant lies and self-indulgent statements in their part, whomever it is, including the teacher I am indebted to.
I am angry now, because I've just received a mail last night through cc, with Chiara sending a self-indulgent email on how I've betrayed the band, how I'm being selfish etc. In fact, there are many lies being said in the email that I seriously feel disappointed that she would stoop so low to tell to save face.
At the start, when I saw she sent an email, my heart skipped a beat. And even was slightly depressed when I saw the top part of the email criticizing someone else in the band. But when I actually went to print out the mail and read throroughly, immediately I was able to let everything go. The particular mail was so hostile, so angry, so irresponsible, nothing else can I say. It was then I knew I trusted the wrong person. Someone whom I used to respect, look up to was dead. In her place was this angry banshee.
Sigh. I guess good things just simply have to end. My only regrets was that I might never be able to have the skills to create music that I like again. But then, how long ago since they've created music I'd appreciate? I don't remember. Sigh...
Well, goodbye Dandelion. Take care. I do not need you in my life anymore. Remember the dandelion principle. The seed will eventually drift away from the mother to start afresh somewhere else. What you're doing now is stifling that growth. Good bye, good luck, and I pray for the tormented souls of the new students.
The End
Sure, they are doing well, with albums coming out, with ad placements, performances, and even MTVs (tentative). However, I just don't feel a need to reinforce myself with something shallow as this. In fact, for me, it's more like mild annoyances and interruptions to my life which culminated in my anger towards promises not kept and expectations in their part that I would be present for everything.
I will not say I did not warn them of this particular period of my life where I'm busy, because I did warn them. I will not say I am angry with them because they expect me to put my research life on hold for their crummy 2nd rate concert, because I'm only annoyed. I shall not say I am not wrong, because I know that ignoring their calls are not ethical. But I shall not stand for blatant lies and self-indulgent statements in their part, whomever it is, including the teacher I am indebted to.
I am angry now, because I've just received a mail last night through cc, with Chiara sending a self-indulgent email on how I've betrayed the band, how I'm being selfish etc. In fact, there are many lies being said in the email that I seriously feel disappointed that she would stoop so low to tell to save face.
At the start, when I saw she sent an email, my heart skipped a beat. And even was slightly depressed when I saw the top part of the email criticizing someone else in the band. But when I actually went to print out the mail and read throroughly, immediately I was able to let everything go. The particular mail was so hostile, so angry, so irresponsible, nothing else can I say. It was then I knew I trusted the wrong person. Someone whom I used to respect, look up to was dead. In her place was this angry banshee.
Sigh. I guess good things just simply have to end. My only regrets was that I might never be able to have the skills to create music that I like again. But then, how long ago since they've created music I'd appreciate? I don't remember. Sigh...
Well, goodbye Dandelion. Take care. I do not need you in my life anymore. Remember the dandelion principle. The seed will eventually drift away from the mother to start afresh somewhere else. What you're doing now is stifling that growth. Good bye, good luck, and I pray for the tormented souls of the new students.
The End