Communication. It's a good thing, part 1.
Haven't updated in months. Bad me, no biscuit. *mentally whips self with something thorny*
Back in Wesht Cork with my parents after watching two of the people I care about the most in the world get married to each other. This touches me so deeply that I can't express my joy in words. They thoughtfully invited pretty much everyone I've ever loved to their wedding. That also rocked.
That Vampire LARP, which I was made a Narrator of while I was in Australia, has taken over my life. Which in some ways is a good thing, as it distracts me from the fact that Teh Australian is still over there and I miss him. Quite a bit, and very, very frequently. He, for all that he does my head in, has taught me why people get into relationships, and stay in them when things are tough. What does that mean? I don't know.
Spending a lot of mental time in LARP-space also distracts me from how very much I hate my job, dread going into work and am slowly but surely having every scrap of professional confidence I'd built up eroded by an undermining boss who fundamentally doesn't get me, or have any great desire to get me. I strongly suspect that I wasn't designed for a big-business office job. What I was designed for has been another recurring question recently, to which, unfortunately, only I have the answer. And I don't know.
Hanging around with Teh LARPers also allows me to indulge in another favourite passtime of mine: avoidance. Where a problem or question arises, I like to avoid it until it goes away. Close friends can prove tricky in these instances, as they offer help, support and advice in overcoming issues. They mean well, but it's hard to bury one's head in the sand about long-term goals, paralysing indecision, crippling lack of confidences and life plans when they're there providing supportive shoulders and kind words. Five to seven nights a week spent in the company of people who barely know me, though, helps. Game face on and all's good. How do I get back to being able to communicate effectively with people I trust and care about? I don't know.
Baby steps: Hugs. Invitations. Meetings. Chat. Talking. Little things.
Back in Wesht Cork with my parents after watching two of the people I care about the most in the world get married to each other. This touches me so deeply that I can't express my joy in words. They thoughtfully invited pretty much everyone I've ever loved to their wedding. That also rocked.
That Vampire LARP, which I was made a Narrator of while I was in Australia, has taken over my life. Which in some ways is a good thing, as it distracts me from the fact that Teh Australian is still over there and I miss him. Quite a bit, and very, very frequently. He, for all that he does my head in, has taught me why people get into relationships, and stay in them when things are tough. What does that mean? I don't know.
Spending a lot of mental time in LARP-space also distracts me from how very much I hate my job, dread going into work and am slowly but surely having every scrap of professional confidence I'd built up eroded by an undermining boss who fundamentally doesn't get me, or have any great desire to get me. I strongly suspect that I wasn't designed for a big-business office job. What I was designed for has been another recurring question recently, to which, unfortunately, only I have the answer. And I don't know.
Hanging around with Teh LARPers also allows me to indulge in another favourite passtime of mine: avoidance. Where a problem or question arises, I like to avoid it until it goes away. Close friends can prove tricky in these instances, as they offer help, support and advice in overcoming issues. They mean well, but it's hard to bury one's head in the sand about long-term goals, paralysing indecision, crippling lack of confidences and life plans when they're there providing supportive shoulders and kind words. Five to seven nights a week spent in the company of people who barely know me, though, helps. Game face on and all's good. How do I get back to being able to communicate effectively with people I trust and care about? I don't know.
Baby steps: Hugs. Invitations. Meetings. Chat. Talking. Little things.