No one's fault but mine
Well, after that whole episode, and all those promises, Ryan dicked me over last night. Actually not only me, the football game too. He was with Adam Calpin all day and night.. I can only imagine the stuff that went on.. I haven't talked to him since Friday after school.. I'm dying inside. I need him. I need him so bad it makes me crazy. I don't want to need him anymore though, I need to learn how to be independant!
I'm afraid to be without him. Everything I went through for the past three years, he experienced with me... everything. When I'm scared, he was there..Sick, he was there..Bab things happenning..he was there. I need him here now.. Where are yu? I remember when he was head over heels...it was quite annoying.. I'd do anything to have that back. If I don't let him go, then I deserve everything I get from him, but it's just so hard. You are my everything..that was my mistake. I should have listened to people when they told me about yu. I know who yu really are. I know that yur friends have a huge affect on yu. I thought yu were stronger than that though.. I though we were stronger than that. I'm driving myself crazy trying to figure out why yu are the way yu are.
I can't keep obsessing over this, I'm actually making myself sick. I guess as far as yu see it, yu can just walk all over me, and I'm here telling yu I will let yu. I will let yu becasue I love yu, and I will let yu because if yu want a girlfriend who lets yu go out whenever yu want, and be with her whenever yu need a hug..then okay.. here I am, and I'm waiting for yu to be done with them, and longing for the time when all yu need is me. I love yu Ryan Patrick!
Basically all I did today was lay around. I slept over Lauren's last night...and we went to the Saville's this morning. My whole family came over to eat at arounf 1:00.. I basically sat on the computer and went upstairs. After that Katelyn called. It was Linsday's birthday, and she wanted me to come over. We all just hung out, which was a agood thing, cause I needed to get my mind off some shit. I love him so much! I came home around 6:30. I am so cold! Buurrrr! Well, I guess I'm gonna go watch some tv, and wrap myslef in a shit-load of blankies!
xo.
Yu will always me my wonderfuull!
I'm afraid to be without him. Everything I went through for the past three years, he experienced with me... everything. When I'm scared, he was there..Sick, he was there..Bab things happenning..he was there. I need him here now.. Where are yu? I remember when he was head over heels...it was quite annoying.. I'd do anything to have that back. If I don't let him go, then I deserve everything I get from him, but it's just so hard. You are my everything..that was my mistake. I should have listened to people when they told me about yu. I know who yu really are. I know that yur friends have a huge affect on yu. I thought yu were stronger than that though.. I though we were stronger than that. I'm driving myself crazy trying to figure out why yu are the way yu are.
I can't keep obsessing over this, I'm actually making myself sick. I guess as far as yu see it, yu can just walk all over me, and I'm here telling yu I will let yu. I will let yu becasue I love yu, and I will let yu because if yu want a girlfriend who lets yu go out whenever yu want, and be with her whenever yu need a hug..then okay.. here I am, and I'm waiting for yu to be done with them, and longing for the time when all yu need is me. I love yu Ryan Patrick!
Basically all I did today was lay around. I slept over Lauren's last night...and we went to the Saville's this morning. My whole family came over to eat at arounf 1:00.. I basically sat on the computer and went upstairs. After that Katelyn called. It was Linsday's birthday, and she wanted me to come over. We all just hung out, which was a agood thing, cause I needed to get my mind off some shit. I love him so much! I came home around 6:30. I am so cold! Buurrrr! Well, I guess I'm gonna go watch some tv, and wrap myslef in a shit-load of blankies!
xo.
Yu will always me my wonderfuull!