Bllaahh, what do I do?

[coconilla]

I wish someone could help me. I don't know what to do anymore. Like, everything I do or say to him is the wrong thing. I just want to know what will make him happy. Like, everything can be fine, and then all of a sudden he blows up out of nowhere. I am honeslty in a akward positoin right now. Like, I don't knwo if I can feel like this anymore, but I know without him, I am nothing. He controls my emotions, and anytime I'm not with him, it feels like a piece of me is missing. I get sick to my stomache. Is it terrible to be this emotionally involved? I wish I knew. I just can't feel like this anymore. There are times I feel low, and don't deserve him, and then there are times he makes me feel low...Like im not self-concious enough..right? Geez louise, I just wish I could have the answer.. I need to know if in the ned its all worth it. I used to think our fights and stuffmade us stronger..and they really did used to. But now.. I feel they make us more distant..Is the love fading? Uhhh, my tummy hurts. I'm depressed, and I can't deal with it anymore. All of his friends hate me, and want us to break up. I don't know why...we are rarely ever together anymore, because he goes with them so much.. Please stop being selfish..I love him too. When did I stop being a priority, do yu know that I can't think straight without yu. Like, yes we are still together,and still going out, but it feels like his heart just isn't in it. Ry, please just tell me that..don't keep me here on the side, it hurts. I wish I knew what I could to to be good enough for yu... When will it be enough? All this stuff yu put me through, and no matter what I'm still by yur side.. Is that stupid of me? I can't help it...I'm in love with yu, and I used to feel that in return...These days I just don't know what to do with myself. I can't continue living my life like this though... I just can't do it anymore. If everything between is not okay, then have the balls to talk to me about it..yah know? Don't pretend like everything is fine, cause if it was..I wouldn't feel this feeling in my heart..But im afraid to loose yu and not have yu in my life...
I love yu!

Well, last night we lost the game.

Wyoming Area-7
Stroudsburg-21

We played like shit..Oh well, what can yah do...right?

Ryan dicked me last night...Suprise suprise...Katelyn stayed over, and on our way home we saw Jim, Sutter, Sid and Chris. We chatted for a few..I dunno what I'm doing today though.. Katelyn has work at 3:00...I really don't think I can be alone today..My heart hurts waayy too bad! I need someone right now. =/ I need to shower.

Steph Norton-I love yu with all my heart. Thank yu for caring so much, yu are a great friend and person. Uhh, I love yu muchly! If yu want to hang out, gimme a ring.<3

xo.
I'm afraid to tell anyone what I love about yu..
because I'm afraid they will love yu too..