summer is here
okay so my exams for this semster are over! fervently hoping for a cap puller.
i didnt think i was a pessimistic person, just cynical. but i guess now you can lump me with the pessimists. the kind of people you blame for finding ways to be miserable, even though i don't know how i do it since i feel it so often i guess i must be doing something wrong somewhere. as usual you always know how and when to douse my fire. i was beginning to feel pretty good but then... maybe i'm not meant to be a happy person. goes off and becomes a glum person people don't pity and i don't pity either. i wish sometimes we could return right to the beginning, when you didn't take everything i said as accusatory or invasive, but completely neutral. and our correspondences were a lot more frequent. your guards are up immediately and your temper flares so fast it's not my place to say pretty much anything to you.
heehee, so strange that even though i know full well this is a public place i've said all this. i'm tired, unwilling to give up, but so, so tired and wronged. the more i think about it, the more l'arc concert (last saturday, whoops didn't post about it) was such a bright happy moment where i thoroughly, thoroughly enjoyed myself and could actually be free (physically and mentally) to be loud and excited and expressed, in my element. i don't think i've felt so at home and comfortable, maybe it's because for so long i havent been this way (whereas previously i was probably more or less like this most of the time) that i really felt liberated, and the thought "this is me!!! love it" actually flashed in my mind, because i've never actually thought i had a solid me to begin with. well that's my moment of loud fun! no dampers, hyde (the epitome in voice body and face, of sex) the most awesome botox eating rocker ever, and the very talented ken tetsu and yuki, thank you lots and lots! i've never thought i'd hear l'arc live, all these songs and that amazing smooth deep rich sonorous rock voice. thanks also for the free ticket!!!! blessings be unto you.
i didnt think i was a pessimistic person, just cynical. but i guess now you can lump me with the pessimists. the kind of people you blame for finding ways to be miserable, even though i don't know how i do it since i feel it so often i guess i must be doing something wrong somewhere. as usual you always know how and when to douse my fire. i was beginning to feel pretty good but then... maybe i'm not meant to be a happy person. goes off and becomes a glum person people don't pity and i don't pity either. i wish sometimes we could return right to the beginning, when you didn't take everything i said as accusatory or invasive, but completely neutral. and our correspondences were a lot more frequent. your guards are up immediately and your temper flares so fast it's not my place to say pretty much anything to you.
heehee, so strange that even though i know full well this is a public place i've said all this. i'm tired, unwilling to give up, but so, so tired and wronged. the more i think about it, the more l'arc concert (last saturday, whoops didn't post about it) was such a bright happy moment where i thoroughly, thoroughly enjoyed myself and could actually be free (physically and mentally) to be loud and excited and expressed, in my element. i don't think i've felt so at home and comfortable, maybe it's because for so long i havent been this way (whereas previously i was probably more or less like this most of the time) that i really felt liberated, and the thought "this is me!!! love it" actually flashed in my mind, because i've never actually thought i had a solid me to begin with. well that's my moment of loud fun! no dampers, hyde (the epitome in voice body and face, of sex) the most awesome botox eating rocker ever, and the very talented ken tetsu and yuki, thank you lots and lots! i've never thought i'd hear l'arc live, all these songs and that amazing smooth deep rich sonorous rock voice. thanks also for the free ticket!!!! blessings be unto you.