(no subject)
I feel like a should have an addiction. something worthy of this crash and burn. Or at least something legitimate to deny. Something to actually hide from or to help me hide. Everyone has something to cope. they just have more normal and discreet problems. Like some excercies, some shop, some watch tv, some bake, some do heroin. We all awkwardly stumble through whatever it is in life and no one i know has actually faced their life head on. I'm beginning to believe it's a fairy tale, that everyone hides and is completely fucked up and is dead certain no one else knows how they drink themselves, cry themselves, drug themselves to sleep. We all compartmentalize, the degress change, but this does not touch that. I know the panic and discomfort when different aspects of my life comingle. it's like my food. somethings just shouldn't touch or the resultant combo is overly repulsive.
When do the compartments result in multiple personality disorder, when does the average acceptable even trendy mental imbalance become a full blown insanity? When we admit it? or when we can't hide it anymore? because the overriding evidence points towards facing life as the extreme, possibly even insane way to do things.
Friggin Ouac number or whatever is lost somewhere in my bag. and i don't care. I don't have the grades or the desire to do dick all with my number.
When do the compartments result in multiple personality disorder, when does the average acceptable even trendy mental imbalance become a full blown insanity? When we admit it? or when we can't hide it anymore? because the overriding evidence points towards facing life as the extreme, possibly even insane way to do things.
Friggin Ouac number or whatever is lost somewhere in my bag. and i don't care. I don't have the grades or the desire to do dick all with my number.