Memealicious! Thanks!
For adina_atl: Top five characters who would never join the Borg:
1. I am Seven of Nine, Tertiary Adjunct of Unimatrix Zero-One.
I am "I". I am the adjunct of nothing. I am not the seventh of nine. I am the first and last of one. I am disconnected.
I am not Annika Hansen. I am not human.
I am not Borg.
The captain is not Borg. She is one of one. It should be better if we were one and two of two.
The captain has refused the Borg. The captain has refused me. She is one of one.
If I were human, I would be lonely.
I am merely one.
2. He sat in the tent without any prayers. "God," he said, and pushed up his right sleeve. "God," he said again, and stopped again. There was a symmetry between his own destroyed arm and the missing arm of the Fullmetal Alchemist: a sign, he wondered, or a mockery? His brother had placed this weapon of God on his body for vengeance, while that dog wore an unholy mingling of metal and flesh for the military's convenience. Destroy it and the alchemist was nothing. He bowed his head and flexed the wrist laid across his right knee and did not pray.
3. "Nightwing, any new information for me?" Babs asked.
Dick grimaced into the camera. "I'm still trying to get old information out of this system. I used to like computers, you know."
"What did you do now?" she said. A wider lens angle didn't show any batarangs sticking out of his CPU case, at least.
Dick made puppy-dog eyes at her. "Would it kill you to just send me a Microsoft Word document?"
Babs let the camera catch her expression.
"Sorry! Sorry!" Dick held up both hands, backflipped farther away, and held his hands higher. "I was only kidding, I swear!"
4. Sharon curls her knees in and holds the blanket close under her chin. Nightmares are normal. They happen to everybody. You get older and you dream about your childhood and you get it all mixed up with your adult life and maybe for an instant when you wake up you remember that your sabotage caused the explosion on Troy that killed everyone but it didn't because you were just a kid and you didn't do it and there weren't any Cylons on Troy either. Sharon breathes in and out, staring at the fraying edge of her pillowcase. No Cylons here.
5. LUKE: I'll never join you!
VADER: If you only knew the power of the dark side. Obi-Wan never told you what happened to your father.
LUKE: He told me enough! He told me you killed him.
VADER: No. I am your father.
LUKE: No. No. That's not true! That's impossible!
VADER: Search your feelings. You know it to be true.
LUKE: No! No! No!
VADER: Luke. You can destroy the Emperor. He has foreseen this. It is your destiny. Join me, and we can rule the galaxy as father and son. Come with me. It's the only way.
LUKE: [falls]
For sister_wolf: Five times that Riza Hawkeye really wondered about Roy Mustang:
1. Miniskirts. Mustang had never struck her as a leg man.
2. Hughes. Mustang had never struck her as a knife man.
3. Elric. Mustang had never struck her as a pedophile.
4. Bradley. Mustang had never struck her as a man to throw away years of ambition on a personal vendetta.
5. Elric. Mustang had always struck her as a man eternally faithful, but it still broke her heart to watch him waiting.
For qe2: Five things Nightwing wants to -- but will never -- say to Batman:
1. Robin hit Nightwing with a broad-spectrum antihistamine, stuffed one rebreather between Nightwing's teeth and another into his own mouth, and staggered toward the door. Darned Ivy with her darned plants; it always seemed to end in fire. Nightwing was swaying on his feet, but the flush to his skin was starting to clear when Robin kicked open the door. Batman landed beside him and Robin gratefully tipped Nightwing over onto his taller partner. "He'll be fine," he told Batman.
Nightwing patted the bat on Batman's chest and rolled his head backward. "Mommy?" he said, and passed out on Batman's shoulder.
2. "No, seriously, I can easily go a whole patrol without saying anything unnecessary. Just try me."
"So you're listening to be sure I'm quiet, right?"
"Good, okay, I'm going to take the western loop and finish up over Aparo Park. Should we meet there on R-point three? I'll see you there."
"Here I go, niiiiiice and quiet."
"B -- Oops."
"Mmmmph."
"So how's -- darn it!"
"Tra la la. Microphone off. This is a lot harder than I thought it'd -- hey, no fair following me!"
"Grr."
"Argh, dammit."
"Okay, okay, okay, I forfeit. Talk to me. Please, someone talk to me!"
3. "Bruce, you have to understand that I tried to fight this feeling." Dick raised his chin and tightened his hands into fists. "You and Alfred raised me; you're practically my parents. I know that makes this relationship wrong in the eyes of the world, but I can't care about that. I'm old enough to choose and I'm in love, and your opinion is the only one that matters to me. I -- I really want your blessing before I marry Alfred."
Bruce's expression shifted from panic toward rage. At the precisely correct moment before the explosion, Alfred said, "April Fool's, sir."
4. "Yes?" Bruce said into the phone.
"You fired Stephanie," Dick said.
"Yes." Bruce's voice was flat and unencouraging.
Dick took a deep breath and continued anyway. "Because she reminded you too much of Jason."
"She willfully disobeyed an order," Bruce said. "She was putting herself at risk."
"So, 'yes'," Dick said, and waited.
Eventually, Bruce said, "Yes."
"And you couldn't have anyone competing with his memory, could you?" Dick said. "It doesn't have to be disloyal to love someone else, Bruce. He would've wanted you to."
The line was silent. After a minute, Dick realized that Bruce had hung up.
5. Bruce paced through the oddly inverted rooms, searching for signs of Harvey. And where's Dick? he wondered. Why isn't he following my orders? I can't protect him unless --
The glint of light on a scarred coin caught his eye: Two-Face's coin, or rather a double of it. Unwilling to wait on Dick any longer, he toggled his communicator. "Ro--Nightwing, check in," he said.
Over a snap of static, Dick snarled, "Are you dense? Are you retarded or something? I'm not the goddamned Robin."
Bruce winced. "Where are you?"
"Only way inside was through the basement," Dick reported calmly.
For bravecows: Alphonse Elric's top five excuses accepted by Colonel Mustang's staff for his brother's big mouth:
1. I'm so dreadfully sorry about my brother, Lieutenant Breda. He's a little hotheaded. Could I ask you please to not talk about his height any more? Thank you so much!
2. Sergeant Fuery, I must apologize! My brother never meant to shred your height chart for the Lieutentant. Please let me repair it!
3. I -- heh heh. I guess you're used to him by now, Lieutenant Hawkeye. I'll get him out of Lieutenant Breda's desk right now.
4. I'm sorry, Colonel Mustang! There were three dead kids in-- my brother takes things so personally sometimes and I'm sure he didn't mean any disrespect.
5. I'm sure he didn't mean to imply that, Lieutenant Breda! My brother can be so sensitive about his height. Please, I'm sorry!
Dialogue attributions: Borg #5 from Empire Strikes Back; Nightwing #5 from The New Titans 61 and The All-Star Batman and Robin the Boy Wonder 2.
1. I am Seven of Nine, Tertiary Adjunct of Unimatrix Zero-One.
I am "I". I am the adjunct of nothing. I am not the seventh of nine. I am the first and last of one. I am disconnected.
I am not Annika Hansen. I am not human.
I am not Borg.
The captain is not Borg. She is one of one. It should be better if we were one and two of two.
The captain has refused the Borg. The captain has refused me. She is one of one.
If I were human, I would be lonely.
I am merely one.
2. He sat in the tent without any prayers. "God," he said, and pushed up his right sleeve. "God," he said again, and stopped again. There was a symmetry between his own destroyed arm and the missing arm of the Fullmetal Alchemist: a sign, he wondered, or a mockery? His brother had placed this weapon of God on his body for vengeance, while that dog wore an unholy mingling of metal and flesh for the military's convenience. Destroy it and the alchemist was nothing. He bowed his head and flexed the wrist laid across his right knee and did not pray.
3. "Nightwing, any new information for me?" Babs asked.
Dick grimaced into the camera. "I'm still trying to get old information out of this system. I used to like computers, you know."
"What did you do now?" she said. A wider lens angle didn't show any batarangs sticking out of his CPU case, at least.
Dick made puppy-dog eyes at her. "Would it kill you to just send me a Microsoft Word document?"
Babs let the camera catch her expression.
"Sorry! Sorry!" Dick held up both hands, backflipped farther away, and held his hands higher. "I was only kidding, I swear!"
4. Sharon curls her knees in and holds the blanket close under her chin. Nightmares are normal. They happen to everybody. You get older and you dream about your childhood and you get it all mixed up with your adult life and maybe for an instant when you wake up you remember that your sabotage caused the explosion on Troy that killed everyone but it didn't because you were just a kid and you didn't do it and there weren't any Cylons on Troy either. Sharon breathes in and out, staring at the fraying edge of her pillowcase. No Cylons here.
5. LUKE: I'll never join you!
VADER: If you only knew the power of the dark side. Obi-Wan never told you what happened to your father.
LUKE: He told me enough! He told me you killed him.
VADER: No. I am your father.
LUKE: No. No. That's not true! That's impossible!
VADER: Search your feelings. You know it to be true.
LUKE: No! No! No!
VADER: Luke. You can destroy the Emperor. He has foreseen this. It is your destiny. Join me, and we can rule the galaxy as father and son. Come with me. It's the only way.
LUKE: [falls]
For sister_wolf: Five times that Riza Hawkeye really wondered about Roy Mustang:
1. Miniskirts. Mustang had never struck her as a leg man.
2. Hughes. Mustang had never struck her as a knife man.
3. Elric. Mustang had never struck her as a pedophile.
4. Bradley. Mustang had never struck her as a man to throw away years of ambition on a personal vendetta.
5. Elric. Mustang had always struck her as a man eternally faithful, but it still broke her heart to watch him waiting.
For qe2: Five things Nightwing wants to -- but will never -- say to Batman:
1. Robin hit Nightwing with a broad-spectrum antihistamine, stuffed one rebreather between Nightwing's teeth and another into his own mouth, and staggered toward the door. Darned Ivy with her darned plants; it always seemed to end in fire. Nightwing was swaying on his feet, but the flush to his skin was starting to clear when Robin kicked open the door. Batman landed beside him and Robin gratefully tipped Nightwing over onto his taller partner. "He'll be fine," he told Batman.
Nightwing patted the bat on Batman's chest and rolled his head backward. "Mommy?" he said, and passed out on Batman's shoulder.
2. "No, seriously, I can easily go a whole patrol without saying anything unnecessary. Just try me."
"So you're listening to be sure I'm quiet, right?"
"Good, okay, I'm going to take the western loop and finish up over Aparo Park. Should we meet there on R-point three? I'll see you there."
"Here I go, niiiiiice and quiet."
"B -- Oops."
"Mmmmph."
"So how's -- darn it!"
"Tra la la. Microphone off. This is a lot harder than I thought it'd -- hey, no fair following me!"
"Grr."
"Argh, dammit."
"Okay, okay, okay, I forfeit. Talk to me. Please, someone talk to me!"
3. "Bruce, you have to understand that I tried to fight this feeling." Dick raised his chin and tightened his hands into fists. "You and Alfred raised me; you're practically my parents. I know that makes this relationship wrong in the eyes of the world, but I can't care about that. I'm old enough to choose and I'm in love, and your opinion is the only one that matters to me. I -- I really want your blessing before I marry Alfred."
Bruce's expression shifted from panic toward rage. At the precisely correct moment before the explosion, Alfred said, "April Fool's, sir."
4. "Yes?" Bruce said into the phone.
"You fired Stephanie," Dick said.
"Yes." Bruce's voice was flat and unencouraging.
Dick took a deep breath and continued anyway. "Because she reminded you too much of Jason."
"She willfully disobeyed an order," Bruce said. "She was putting herself at risk."
"So, 'yes'," Dick said, and waited.
Eventually, Bruce said, "Yes."
"And you couldn't have anyone competing with his memory, could you?" Dick said. "It doesn't have to be disloyal to love someone else, Bruce. He would've wanted you to."
The line was silent. After a minute, Dick realized that Bruce had hung up.
5. Bruce paced through the oddly inverted rooms, searching for signs of Harvey. And where's Dick? he wondered. Why isn't he following my orders? I can't protect him unless --
The glint of light on a scarred coin caught his eye: Two-Face's coin, or rather a double of it. Unwilling to wait on Dick any longer, he toggled his communicator. "Ro--Nightwing, check in," he said.
Over a snap of static, Dick snarled, "Are you dense? Are you retarded or something? I'm not the goddamned Robin."
Bruce winced. "Where are you?"
"Only way inside was through the basement," Dick reported calmly.
For bravecows: Alphonse Elric's top five excuses accepted by Colonel Mustang's staff for his brother's big mouth:
1. I'm so dreadfully sorry about my brother, Lieutenant Breda. He's a little hotheaded. Could I ask you please to not talk about his height any more? Thank you so much!
2. Sergeant Fuery, I must apologize! My brother never meant to shred your height chart for the Lieutentant. Please let me repair it!
3. I -- heh heh. I guess you're used to him by now, Lieutenant Hawkeye. I'll get him out of Lieutenant Breda's desk right now.
4. I'm sorry, Colonel Mustang! There were three dead kids in-- my brother takes things so personally sometimes and I'm sure he didn't mean any disrespect.
5. I'm sure he didn't mean to imply that, Lieutenant Breda! My brother can be so sensitive about his height. Please, I'm sorry!
Dialogue attributions: Borg #5 from Empire Strikes Back; Nightwing #5 from The New Titans 61 and The All-Star Batman and Robin the Boy Wonder 2.