Sleep, perchance to dream ...
I'm starting to have weird dreams about my workplace (something which has not happened since before I quit Title Wave in August). On the bright side, I take this as a sign that I'm finally 100% acclimated and comfortable with Page One (which, ever since January or thereabouts, yeah ... I am; they've hired no less than seven people since I started, some of whom are still there and some of which have already moved on/gotten their asses fired, so I'm not even close to being "the new guy" anymore). On the not-so-bright side, I'm having weird workplace dreams.
The details are fuzzy, but last night it was something having to do with our upstairs employee breakroom and my insecurities about the staff wall. See, one of my major incentives to keep working there/not get fired, etc. is that they take pictures of all of their employees and tack them on this employee bulletin board thing. And this is cool. I like this. It's clean, organized, friendly, and has a complete overview of my smiling co-workers. What troubles me is that Other Bulletin Board, which is the cluttered, messy, disorganized, totally clusterfucked ex-employee bulletin board, on which there are literally dozens and dozens and dozens (and dozens and dozens) of pictures tacked directionlessly on top of one another in no order. It doesn't matter who you are: the best employee ever, someone who got sacked, an ex-manager, a deceased comrade ... they all end up here. Clearly this troubles my sleep at night. I must remain on the payroll or else I get moved.
So the next time you're at Page One and the friendly, beaming customer service guy whose nametag either says Gary, Ishmael, or Dr. B (depending on the day -- everyone else wears tags with their real names, but the management has shown more amusement than anything else at my antics, so there we go), just remember: there is a good chance this guy may be completely insane. I might be, too.
Case in point: I was working yesterday, and stumbled across this book. It looks like the coolest thing ever. (The only thing more awesome than David Lynch, Michel Gondry, Trainspotting, and Life of Pi is the inconceivable novel that can somehow draw comparisons to all of them at once. That's just the Amazon page. The cover says something to the effect of, "Thomas Pynchon meets Douglas Adams.")
... then again, this is coming from the guy who tried to put this on display at the customer service counter, and who does his closing-time intercom announcements as dryly, creepily, and as self-congratulatorily as possible ("Attention Page One customers, but our time together is sadly coming to a close. At this time, please take your final selections to the dashing, handsome clerk at the registers, and then make your way out of the building. But most importantly, please don't forget to have a wonderful evening. The weather report predicts little chance of sunshine for the next twelve hours, so stay safe out there." And so on ...).
The details are fuzzy, but last night it was something having to do with our upstairs employee breakroom and my insecurities about the staff wall. See, one of my major incentives to keep working there/not get fired, etc. is that they take pictures of all of their employees and tack them on this employee bulletin board thing. And this is cool. I like this. It's clean, organized, friendly, and has a complete overview of my smiling co-workers. What troubles me is that Other Bulletin Board, which is the cluttered, messy, disorganized, totally clusterfucked ex-employee bulletin board, on which there are literally dozens and dozens and dozens (and dozens and dozens) of pictures tacked directionlessly on top of one another in no order. It doesn't matter who you are: the best employee ever, someone who got sacked, an ex-manager, a deceased comrade ... they all end up here. Clearly this troubles my sleep at night. I must remain on the payroll or else I get moved.
So the next time you're at Page One and the friendly, beaming customer service guy whose nametag either says Gary, Ishmael, or Dr. B (depending on the day -- everyone else wears tags with their real names, but the management has shown more amusement than anything else at my antics, so there we go), just remember: there is a good chance this guy may be completely insane. I might be, too.
Case in point: I was working yesterday, and stumbled across this book. It looks like the coolest thing ever. (The only thing more awesome than David Lynch, Michel Gondry, Trainspotting, and Life of Pi is the inconceivable novel that can somehow draw comparisons to all of them at once. That's just the Amazon page. The cover says something to the effect of, "Thomas Pynchon meets Douglas Adams.")
... then again, this is coming from the guy who tried to put this on display at the customer service counter, and who does his closing-time intercom announcements as dryly, creepily, and as self-congratulatorily as possible ("Attention Page One customers, but our time together is sadly coming to a close. At this time, please take your final selections to the dashing, handsome clerk at the registers, and then make your way out of the building. But most importantly, please don't forget to have a wonderful evening. The weather report predicts little chance of sunshine for the next twelve hours, so stay safe out there." And so on ...).