measuring up
There's this quote in the movie into the wild that has been on my mind. It says,
"The sea's only gifts are harsh blows and, occasionally, the chance to feel strong. Now, I don't know much about the sea, but I do know that that's the way it is here. And I also know how important it is in life not necessarily to be strong but to feel strong, to measure yourself at least once..."
I've been doing really well in classes and yet as graduation draws closer I keep wondering if I actually will be good at teaching. I have a horrible habit of comparing myself to everyone around me. Of course I find some people I feel on par with or sometimes superior to, but I can always find someone I feel inferior to or someone I wish I was more like.
This uncertainty has made me think a lot about past life experience, past friendships, and even past relationships.
I used to fear that no one would ever "get me." Now I realize, after watching people disappear suddenly without ever hearing an explanation, I fear being known well ... relishing in the knowledge that people or just someone gets me ... and then being judged not even worth an explanation as to why they've chosen to disappear on you.
We fear the unknown in others, but also the idea of being completely known by others.
It's far worse to open up yourself to someone and then realize you barred your innermost thoughts to a stranger. A stranger, not a friend, finds it easy to walk out on you.
I still find myself wanting to be too open too trusting too soon, but I am learning to be quieter.
"No one ever knows the ones they love, if you knew everything they thought I bet you'd just wish they'd shut up."
"The sea's only gifts are harsh blows and, occasionally, the chance to feel strong. Now, I don't know much about the sea, but I do know that that's the way it is here. And I also know how important it is in life not necessarily to be strong but to feel strong, to measure yourself at least once..."
I've been doing really well in classes and yet as graduation draws closer I keep wondering if I actually will be good at teaching. I have a horrible habit of comparing myself to everyone around me. Of course I find some people I feel on par with or sometimes superior to, but I can always find someone I feel inferior to or someone I wish I was more like.
This uncertainty has made me think a lot about past life experience, past friendships, and even past relationships.
I used to fear that no one would ever "get me." Now I realize, after watching people disappear suddenly without ever hearing an explanation, I fear being known well ... relishing in the knowledge that people or just someone gets me ... and then being judged not even worth an explanation as to why they've chosen to disappear on you.
We fear the unknown in others, but also the idea of being completely known by others.
It's far worse to open up yourself to someone and then realize you barred your innermost thoughts to a stranger. A stranger, not a friend, finds it easy to walk out on you.
I still find myself wanting to be too open too trusting too soon, but I am learning to be quieter.
"No one ever knows the ones they love, if you knew everything they thought I bet you'd just wish they'd shut up."