It would seem life is giving me the finger right now...
accept I don't think it has even that much regard for me. I have been in a funk the past few days. I don't wanna be but I can't help it. Just when things were starting to look up I had a rude ass awakening of the worst kind. My car was stolen two days after I spent about a thousand dollars getting it repaired and I have had to face some really hard facts about my life. My personal life that is. I am doing what I can't stand as a result too. I am looking to my son for encouragement and suport and he's way too young to shoulder that kind of weight. I just dont know what to do? My outlook right now sucks and I need a change desperately. I need it like I need air.
I can't even talk to anyone right now and I spent most of the work day today fighting back tears. It's insane everytime I think I have the opportunity to break into at least a period of happy and content I get shell shocked back into this sad reality. I just wish I could see thye outcome of all that's happening. I know that God allows and does things with a purpose in mind but I am really struggling with that thought right now. What good can come of this?
In light of all that's transpired and because I have been in a bad mood for about four years now I am looking into taking a year or two of education leave from my job to finish school. The weird thing is that I am considering doing it in Kalamazoo. Why? Well the last time I remember being content with my life with myself and my journey was when I was there and I often wonder what my life would look like if I had stayed there... We'll see but in the meantime I will probably be on hiatus or posting privately so pray for me if that's something you do and check you when the clouds roll out.