...but seriously
Helllo all. I gotta be honest with you, I'm trying to put this whole AN brain tumor thing behind me. I mean it was awful and I wouldn't want to do it again, but its ok now. Not suffering from the post traumatic-stress thing so much anymore. I was told I might need special couseling like grief couseling for that. Fuck that, that's all bullshit. Sometimes your not dealt the best hand in life, but I consider myself to have a pretty good poker face.
Well, like I said I want to put this whole thing behind me. Like it never happened. You ever see Eternal Sunshine and The Events of The Spotless Mind? Where Jim Carrey wants to forget about his ex, so he has that part of his mind erased? I wish I kinda could do that. I actually try not to talk about it if I can. Its not like its too painful to talk about, but I dont want to if I dont have to. I wont be at all offended if you ask me about it. But, I obviously have to when I see someone I know in social situation, and they ask me "if i'm still in school". I kinda have to tell them why not.
I was given a release to go back to work. Maybe 20 hrs a week for the rest of the year. As you may or may not know, I work as a clerk in a grocery store. Not to brag, but i'm pretty experienced and do alot there. I can load and unload trucks, build displays, bag groceries,warehouse detail and orgnaization, stock shelves, work in dairy and I was even in charge of the freezer section at one time. I guess my replacement gets yelled at every single day, compared to my once a week. I'd be damned to do have that responsibility again..but anyways i'm getting off the subject.
I'm prob not gonna be doing all b/c my balance is about 75-80% i'd say, not to mention a need to build up some more endurance.
Speaking of endurance, been trying to build up my endurance by going on my treadmill for about 45-60 min a night. That treadmill has helped a ton with my balance. Thanks Captain Deb for recomending that. I can walk a lot more without holding on. I seem to be going down steps a little better and better tooo. I just hope it doesnt stop getting better. My Dr did say it takes 6-9 months for the other vestibular(balance) nerve to take over completely. Its been a little over 4 months, so now is a terrible time to be at alll discouraged.
But yeah, going back to work. That should be fun. I'm bored to tears sittin here at home not bein able to drive, watching movies and TV all the time. I said at one time that I wish I could just sit around and do nothing for awhile. Well, thats one of those cases to be careful what you wish for, you may get it. But I think a great way to get bad thoughts is to be busy all the time...Keeps you less self-involved and keeps you too focused on how shitty your life is when you really have a lot to be thankful for.
Any kind of social enviroment is gonna be therapeautic for me. The extent of my socialness is going to therapy on Tue and Thur. And when my friends come home and get me out of the house. Give me a few days w/o shaving, an axe and you can just call me Jack Nicholson from The Shining. I cant remember a time where I had cabin fever b4 christmas, but I just might this year. I am gonna be sad missin passions tho Eventhough I have to tell about a million people about it all. Maybe I can mention there was a tube in every orifice of my body at one time. That is not it!
Well, like I said I want to put this whole thing behind me. Like it never happened. You ever see Eternal Sunshine and The Events of The Spotless Mind? Where Jim Carrey wants to forget about his ex, so he has that part of his mind erased? I wish I kinda could do that. I actually try not to talk about it if I can. Its not like its too painful to talk about, but I dont want to if I dont have to. I wont be at all offended if you ask me about it. But, I obviously have to when I see someone I know in social situation, and they ask me "if i'm still in school". I kinda have to tell them why not.
I was given a release to go back to work. Maybe 20 hrs a week for the rest of the year. As you may or may not know, I work as a clerk in a grocery store. Not to brag, but i'm pretty experienced and do alot there. I can load and unload trucks, build displays, bag groceries,warehouse detail and orgnaization, stock shelves, work in dairy and I was even in charge of the freezer section at one time. I guess my replacement gets yelled at every single day, compared to my once a week. I'd be damned to do have that responsibility again..but anyways i'm getting off the subject.
I'm prob not gonna be doing all b/c my balance is about 75-80% i'd say, not to mention a need to build up some more endurance.
Speaking of endurance, been trying to build up my endurance by going on my treadmill for about 45-60 min a night. That treadmill has helped a ton with my balance. Thanks Captain Deb for recomending that. I can walk a lot more without holding on. I seem to be going down steps a little better and better tooo. I just hope it doesnt stop getting better. My Dr did say it takes 6-9 months for the other vestibular(balance) nerve to take over completely. Its been a little over 4 months, so now is a terrible time to be at alll discouraged.
But yeah, going back to work. That should be fun. I'm bored to tears sittin here at home not bein able to drive, watching movies and TV all the time. I said at one time that I wish I could just sit around and do nothing for awhile. Well, thats one of those cases to be careful what you wish for, you may get it. But I think a great way to get bad thoughts is to be busy all the time...Keeps you less self-involved and keeps you too focused on how shitty your life is when you really have a lot to be thankful for.
Any kind of social enviroment is gonna be therapeautic for me. The extent of my socialness is going to therapy on Tue and Thur. And when my friends come home and get me out of the house. Give me a few days w/o shaving, an axe and you can just call me Jack Nicholson from The Shining. I cant remember a time where I had cabin fever b4 christmas, but I just might this year. I am gonna be sad missin passions tho Eventhough I have to tell about a million people about it all. Maybe I can mention there was a tube in every orifice of my body at one time. That is not it!