(no subject)
Well... where to start?
Last night was alright I guess. Made plans to hang out with Ashley, but Jono surprised her at work and he and Matt hung out with us, too. We ended up deciding to camp in Ashley's backyard, because her parents wouldn't let her go camping somewhere else with 3 boys, haha. The idea of having to put up with Matt for a whole night wasn't too exciting, and Jono's really getting on my nerves, too, but I went along with it instead of trying to come up with an excuse for going home.
I thought the night would get better when we rented Boondock Saints, because that is the greatest movie of all time. Wrong, though. Jono just can't get over his obsession for Ashley, even after living in Ketchikan for the past year, and something that was said to her boyfriend got him mad at her. So, we had to stop the movie halfway through for her to talk to her boyfriend. She ended up on the phone for at least an hour, but long before that we started the movie up again.
After we were all out in the tent, Jono decided to leave at about 3 in the morning. Not that I wasn't happy that he left, it was just weird. So, yeah, the night wasn't nearly as fun as it could've been.
What the hell is wrong with having an opinion? I 'hate everything,' huh? Well, I'm sorry that I have my own fucking opinions. I'm sorry that I don't buy into all the same superficial shit as everyone else. I find it to be hypocritical that so many people like to call themselves 'independent,' 'unique,' 'their own person,' yet they only like something because they're told it's cool and everyone else likes it. I'm sorry that I'm not the same as everyone else, I fail to see how that's a problem. Fuck. Fucking fuck. I don't care, she's right, I do hate everything. This world makes me sick. I guess I'm a hypocrite too, because I can't honestly say I'm not guilty of some of the things I complain about, but it doesn't mean I like it.
The one I want is the one I can't have. I wish I could just tell her, but I'm afraid of ruining whatever little thing we have left.
I hate my father. I really do. I try not to care about what he says anymore, but how can I not when he says shit like, "You want to kill yourself? Fine, go for it, I know your life is sooooo hard."