Happy belated birthday, James!
I knew-ish that thelordduke's birthday was yesterday, but what with finals and my being flaky, I very authoritatively made the decision to postpone any birthday wishes until today. Or I forgot. One of those.
It is vital to the continued prosperity of the universe (this is bigger than just our earth) that everyone praise James' name and thank him for the fact that we are still alive. If it were not for him, all would be lost. I cannot tell you exactly why because you haven't yet signed this seventy-page secretive non-disclosure agreement, but content yourselves in knowing that he had saved us all countless times, and will continue to do so, by the grace of God and all angels, and one persnickety devil whom I hear has an bashful crush on him.
And because I am broke and have no money for a present, I will instead admit something publically: When I was at Lauren's wedding in Vacaville, CA a couple years back, her grandparents made guacamole from fresh avocados and I liked it. They weren't even offering to pay me to eat the horrid vegetable like you did. Must have been the freshness of the avocados. I knew I could never tell you or you would be impossible. As a gesture from my heart, I give you this now.
Love you, James. <3 Happiest of birthdays (one day late). Like all others, I owe my life to you and for this and many other things, I raise my glass in your honor.
It is vital to the continued prosperity of the universe (this is bigger than just our earth) that everyone praise James' name and thank him for the fact that we are still alive. If it were not for him, all would be lost. I cannot tell you exactly why because you haven't yet signed this seventy-page secretive non-disclosure agreement, but content yourselves in knowing that he had saved us all countless times, and will continue to do so, by the grace of God and all angels, and one persnickety devil whom I hear has an bashful crush on him.
And because I am broke and have no money for a present, I will instead admit something publically: When I was at Lauren's wedding in Vacaville, CA a couple years back, her grandparents made guacamole from fresh avocados and I liked it. They weren't even offering to pay me to eat the horrid vegetable like you did. Must have been the freshness of the avocados. I knew I could never tell you or you would be impossible. As a gesture from my heart, I give you this now.
Love you, James. <3 Happiest of birthdays (one day late). Like all others, I owe my life to you and for this and many other things, I raise my glass in your honor.