The cab driver I avoid
Went grocery shopping today. I generally take the bus there, take a cab back. Called the cab. 45-minute wait. Bah. Called another cab company. No answer.
One option left; I only had three cab numbers in my phone.
The cab driver I avoid. This guy runs his own cab company, so if you call him, he's the one who comes. He charges less than the other companies (a $5 ride rather than a $7 from the others). A better deal. But not worth it. Never worth it. I only call him as a last resort.
Called him. He was there in about ten minutes, and helped me with my groceries.
I got into the car, and started reading, in what I already knew was vain hope that he would just see that I was reading, and not interrupt my attention. But I knew it was only a matter of time.
"Can I ask you a question?"
"...sure." I do not look up from the book.
"Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?"
I learned this one when I was like seven years old. "...I don't know."
"Because he didn't have any guts!"
"Mmm."
"And...did you hear about the boy who swallowed the quarter?"
"No."
"There's no change yet."
I look up from the book. "Mmm."
He was only getting warmed up. "Where do snowmen keep their money?"
"Dunno."
"In snow banks."
"Mmm." In what universe is this amusing to someone my age? In what universe is it amusing to someone his age? He's twice as old as I am.
"What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back?"
Finally something to which I could give a practical answer; I refused to acknowledge the others as anything but stupidity, so I kept my mouth shut for them. "A stick," I said bluntly. Not that this one was funny, but it was likely still the right answer.
"That's right!" It only encouraged him; I shouldn't have encouraged him.
"Where do you find the most fish?"
"In the ocean."
"Nope; between its head and its tail!!"
I am in hell.
So it was for the entire very very long five-minute drive. Five minutes of joke after joke after fucking stupid joke. It would not end. He could not take a hint, and short of telling him to just stop when he was so obviously delighting in it, there was nothing I could do. To be mean to him would be like being mean to a small child; it would be cruel and unworthy.
So I sat and listened and answered when asked and I disliked every second of it, wishing it to end. And then he helped me bring the groceries to my door, and it was over; blessed thanks to above and please don't ever have that happen again. Maybe I should delete his company's number from my phone.
One option left; I only had three cab numbers in my phone.
The cab driver I avoid. This guy runs his own cab company, so if you call him, he's the one who comes. He charges less than the other companies (a $5 ride rather than a $7 from the others). A better deal. But not worth it. Never worth it. I only call him as a last resort.
Called him. He was there in about ten minutes, and helped me with my groceries.
I got into the car, and started reading, in what I already knew was vain hope that he would just see that I was reading, and not interrupt my attention. But I knew it was only a matter of time.
"Can I ask you a question?"
"...sure." I do not look up from the book.
"Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?"
I learned this one when I was like seven years old. "...I don't know."
"Because he didn't have any guts!"
"Mmm."
"And...did you hear about the boy who swallowed the quarter?"
"No."
"There's no change yet."
I look up from the book. "Mmm."
He was only getting warmed up. "Where do snowmen keep their money?"
"Dunno."
"In snow banks."
"Mmm." In what universe is this amusing to someone my age? In what universe is it amusing to someone his age? He's twice as old as I am.
"What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back?"
Finally something to which I could give a practical answer; I refused to acknowledge the others as anything but stupidity, so I kept my mouth shut for them. "A stick," I said bluntly. Not that this one was funny, but it was likely still the right answer.
"That's right!" It only encouraged him; I shouldn't have encouraged him.
"Where do you find the most fish?"
"In the ocean."
"Nope; between its head and its tail!!"
I am in hell.
So it was for the entire very very long five-minute drive. Five minutes of joke after joke after fucking stupid joke. It would not end. He could not take a hint, and short of telling him to just stop when he was so obviously delighting in it, there was nothing I could do. To be mean to him would be like being mean to a small child; it would be cruel and unworthy.
So I sat and listened and answered when asked and I disliked every second of it, wishing it to end. And then he helped me bring the groceries to my door, and it was over; blessed thanks to above and please don't ever have that happen again. Maybe I should delete his company's number from my phone.