(no subject)
I had an ok day. It started off incredibly sucky, when I found out that I missed the deadline to apply to the teaching program. Then it completely rocked, when the person in the office let me turn it in anyway, and also talked to me about working at Upward Bound, which reminded me of why I decided to do teaching and reassured me that I am meant to be doing it, and not to read into this as some kind of sign. Then I went to sign up for a test for teaching, found out I also missed the deadline for that (it's the same day as the app was due), and that I have to go talk to the head of the department and ask for an extension. So it's all hanging on that. Crap.
But, it's ok. Because I went to fill out audit sheets and a plan of study for the rest of college...and found out that even if i DO get in, I'm gonna be here an extra semester at the very least, possibly a year. Which will be enough for my mom to freak out. So I'm going to offer to do the extra year on my own and be in serious debt when i graduate. But my friend and I figured out I can probably pay off that year in 5 years after I start working. 6, tops. And then I'll start paying mom back for the loans she took out to get me this far.
So I'm less stressed. There's something calming about having everything fall apart and having to re-do it. It's so much harder when you're stretched too thin trying to make it all work perfectly. Maybe that's why this happened...to calm me down and remind me that I'm not in charge and I can't make things turn out perfectly, much as I may try.
So, I'm good now. And I know it will all work out somehow. There's a plan, I just can't see it all.
Be back later. ^_^
But, it's ok. Because I went to fill out audit sheets and a plan of study for the rest of college...and found out that even if i DO get in, I'm gonna be here an extra semester at the very least, possibly a year. Which will be enough for my mom to freak out. So I'm going to offer to do the extra year on my own and be in serious debt when i graduate. But my friend and I figured out I can probably pay off that year in 5 years after I start working. 6, tops. And then I'll start paying mom back for the loans she took out to get me this far.
So I'm less stressed. There's something calming about having everything fall apart and having to re-do it. It's so much harder when you're stretched too thin trying to make it all work perfectly. Maybe that's why this happened...to calm me down and remind me that I'm not in charge and I can't make things turn out perfectly, much as I may try.
So, I'm good now. And I know it will all work out somehow. There's a plan, I just can't see it all.
Be back later. ^_^