Ha! It wasn't a year this time!
(Cross posted from FaceBook)
I feel the urge to write something, anything, tonight. I'm not exactly sure what is going to come of this, but you lucky bas... people who read this get to be the (un)fortunate readers (victims) of this wandering randomness.
First things first. If you've seen the pictures I've posted recently you know that I bought a new car. It's a 2011 Kia Optima EX and it's f'ing awesome. It was the beginning of a wave of change that I feel is crashing down upon me. Will this change be for the better? Only time will tell. I have no idea what else is going to change and that's kind of exciting. I've spent way too much of my life looking backwards at what could have been, how my life could be different, that I failed to really look down the road that I'm on. I don't know what my future holds, I don't know where I will be in 5 years, I don't know *who* I will be with in 5 years, but that doesn't bother me any more. I realize that there is so much out there that we miss if we are only focused on ourselves, on what could be, on what may have been. I am trying to view the world with even wider eyes than I was before, trying to take in everything around me, to absorb the entirety of my surroundings, and to add as many commas as possible to this sentence.
One of the things I've realized over the course of the last two years, and it's hard to admit, is that I have been very, very broken. For the first time in a long time I feel consistently whole again and it is a great feeling. I have long been a person who very much wants to "keep up with the Jones'." I felt like I had to keep up with shiny things, to always possess more, to be on top. I don't have that urge any more. If I buy something, it's because I want to buy it. It's no longer an urge to buy it simply to have it or establish some fucked up sense of being on top. I buy something because I want it, or it'll be fun, or I will enjoy it. It feels nice to be in control again.
I have a feeling that something really, really good is going to happen for me this year. It goes beyond the purchase of the new car, which is an awesome accomplishment, but rather it's something else and it will be life-changing. I've never been the overly optimistic type, but my gut is rarely wrong, so I'm choosing to start listening to it now. The power of positive thinking is real, and I plan on abusing the hell out of it this year.
Huh, this is really helping to ease my mind, maybe enough for me to actually sleep tonight. That's going to be a miracle in and of itself, so I think I will bid thee adieu Cyberspace, and thank you for playing.
Troof.
I feel the urge to write something, anything, tonight. I'm not exactly sure what is going to come of this, but you lucky bas... people who read this get to be the (un)fortunate readers (victims) of this wandering randomness.
First things first. If you've seen the pictures I've posted recently you know that I bought a new car. It's a 2011 Kia Optima EX and it's f'ing awesome. It was the beginning of a wave of change that I feel is crashing down upon me. Will this change be for the better? Only time will tell. I have no idea what else is going to change and that's kind of exciting. I've spent way too much of my life looking backwards at what could have been, how my life could be different, that I failed to really look down the road that I'm on. I don't know what my future holds, I don't know where I will be in 5 years, I don't know *who* I will be with in 5 years, but that doesn't bother me any more. I realize that there is so much out there that we miss if we are only focused on ourselves, on what could be, on what may have been. I am trying to view the world with even wider eyes than I was before, trying to take in everything around me, to absorb the entirety of my surroundings, and to add as many commas as possible to this sentence.
One of the things I've realized over the course of the last two years, and it's hard to admit, is that I have been very, very broken. For the first time in a long time I feel consistently whole again and it is a great feeling. I have long been a person who very much wants to "keep up with the Jones'." I felt like I had to keep up with shiny things, to always possess more, to be on top. I don't have that urge any more. If I buy something, it's because I want to buy it. It's no longer an urge to buy it simply to have it or establish some fucked up sense of being on top. I buy something because I want it, or it'll be fun, or I will enjoy it. It feels nice to be in control again.
I have a feeling that something really, really good is going to happen for me this year. It goes beyond the purchase of the new car, which is an awesome accomplishment, but rather it's something else and it will be life-changing. I've never been the overly optimistic type, but my gut is rarely wrong, so I'm choosing to start listening to it now. The power of positive thinking is real, and I plan on abusing the hell out of it this year.
Huh, this is really helping to ease my mind, maybe enough for me to actually sleep tonight. That's going to be a miracle in and of itself, so I think I will bid thee adieu Cyberspace, and thank you for playing.
Troof.