Wedding etiquette

[cloudeagle]

Weddings seem to continuously evolve along with modern society and bring on new forms. What was the norm 20 years ago might be considered passe or even downright rude. Sure, there are traditions, but according to an interesting book I'm reading, One Perfect Day: The Selling of the American Wedding by Rebecca Mead (fantastic look at the wedding

Comments

[matrixx]

Asking for cash is rude. DEFINITELY register. I don't care for what. Register for as many things as possible so you don't run out of stuff. Register for a wide range of price categories. It is NOT rude, it helps all those people you will inevitably invite who have NO CLUE what you want but who still want to get you SOMETHING. I always go for the boldly awesome stuff like video games when they show up. Don't be afraid to register for the non-traditional like DVDs or camping gear, and if nothing else just registering somewhere you will spend allows people to go the easy route and get you a gift card that they can reasonably expect you to USE. I was 20 when I got married and wish I'd had the flexibility that brides and grooms have now!

[philosofialogos]

If you don't register, you'll get a bunch of crap you don't need or want and won't have a clue where it came from so that you can return it. Winnie the Pooh cookie jar anyone? That's what happened my first go-round.

Dan and I both had all the domestic stuff, so we registered for more frivolous things that we didn't really so much need as want. Now I wish we'd registered for more than we did because we tried to keep it to the housewares section of Target rather than branching out and putting a cheap computer printer on the wishlist.

[philosofialogos]

You know, I did go to a wedding recently that had a "money tree". Someone baited it with a couple of $20 bills and they announced ahead of time that they weren't registering but that there'd be a money tree at the wedding. I thought it was a good idea because it meant that they had no clue who did or didn't give them money or how much and they didn't have to write thank you cards. I was poor that month and left them a $10 bill instead of feeling obligated into buying them a more expensive gift. PLUS, I didn't have to run all over Tulsa at the last minute getting them a gift before the wedding. I liked it from the audience end of it at least.

[happy_mommy]

this is what i was going to mention! it was just one of those nice indoor trees and they set near the reception hall door. :)

[philosofialogos]

Oh, and you CAN still elope and get the cake, too. Bren and Merin eloped and then had a reception with cake when they got back. So you can have your elopement and eat your cake, too ... or something like that.

[biffah]

When Brian and I were going to get married in December (we "eloped" in September) we were going to ask for cash. We had everything that we needed, and all we really wanted was money for our honeymoon. We told everyone about it first - and we were going to do a "Honeymoon Fund instead of gifts" kinda thing - and everyone thought it was a great idea. NO ONE likes shopping for gifts.

Agreed - you can still elope and get your cake.

When we bumped up our wedding date due to me getting preggers - we registed online at Amazon.com - and we put anything and everything on there - including DVDs and and Warcraft stuff (my husband and I play). Well - we got a little bit of everything - and no one had to go out and shop - and it was all shipped to our house.

Basically - do what feels right for the two of you. Start a Honeymoon Fund - and register at the same time.