once again...
Wow, just know thinking about posting...well I started feeling really crappy...brought back some memories that I don't want to forget but they are difficult to bear. Even more difficult that I only have a few people to talk to it about...well...difficult...I really hate what I do to myself...I allowed myself to love someone...well, I guess that's still pending...anyway, even when it's unreturned I still can't force myself to get over it and advance whatever miniscule "love" life I have...it's odd...I'm hoping that I will be able to let it go by YIG and find an out there...YIG will be a great stress relief before the storm of exams...and then I'm gonna study like mad for the SAT over christmas...well I'm planning too not sure if it will happen.
I've been focusing so much on school that I haven't been thinking about her much...I suppose it may be a good thing...not sure...I'm not sure why I have such a problem writing her name...'tis an interesting occurence...
I think that I try to analyze stuff for my own good...I don't feel as much pain as I think I should when bad things happen and stuff because I end up analyzing my emotions...like why I feel bad and why I should feel bad and what other people do and all this crap...maybe I'd be a good psychologist...but then I would overanalyze other people and my life would be in the backseat
what the HELL am I going to do?
I hate and love my life...like Gollum hates and loves the ring...oh...I could use some Lord of the Rings...I'm downplaying my life again...I'm way too cynical
I think my problem is summed up well by the singer Glen Frey..."I need someone to love"...well maybe that's not a totally accurate statement but whatever...it matters not...
The Scarlet letter was a pretty good book...I was expecting crap...but I kind of like Hawthorne's dark view of the world and his portrayal of the puritans...refreshing to say the least
I feel horrible...and I just go on acting like I'm all good in my life
even my SAT scores didn't help me cheer up...my math was crap...600...what the hell is that? other stuff was good but not 2250 material...actually math wasn't 2250 material...
I can't hold it in any longer...I can get down to the root of my problem's...my percieved problems rather...that is : I love her...and I can't do anything about it...and it sucks...or does it...not sure yet...the proverb "Better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all"...well, in my case it should be "Better to have loved and never had any returned and fallen flat on your face than to never have loved at all...
Paul
I hate it...indefinite pronouns are so nice
I've been focusing so much on school that I haven't been thinking about her much...I suppose it may be a good thing...not sure...I'm not sure why I have such a problem writing her name...'tis an interesting occurence...
I think that I try to analyze stuff for my own good...I don't feel as much pain as I think I should when bad things happen and stuff because I end up analyzing my emotions...like why I feel bad and why I should feel bad and what other people do and all this crap...maybe I'd be a good psychologist...but then I would overanalyze other people and my life would be in the backseat
what the HELL am I going to do?
I hate and love my life...like Gollum hates and loves the ring...oh...I could use some Lord of the Rings...I'm downplaying my life again...I'm way too cynical
I think my problem is summed up well by the singer Glen Frey..."I need someone to love"...well maybe that's not a totally accurate statement but whatever...it matters not...
The Scarlet letter was a pretty good book...I was expecting crap...but I kind of like Hawthorne's dark view of the world and his portrayal of the puritans...refreshing to say the least
I feel horrible...and I just go on acting like I'm all good in my life
even my SAT scores didn't help me cheer up...my math was crap...600...what the hell is that? other stuff was good but not 2250 material...actually math wasn't 2250 material...
I can't hold it in any longer...I can get down to the root of my problem's...my percieved problems rather...that is : I love her...and I can't do anything about it...and it sucks...or does it...not sure yet...the proverb "Better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all"...well, in my case it should be "Better to have loved and never had any returned and fallen flat on your face than to never have loved at all...
Paul
I hate it...indefinite pronouns are so nice