Sorry, this week started to suck and I didn't have time to check this thing, but thank you so much for commenting. The funny thing is I do think I'm selfish. I'm all "I come first!" Hasn't really helped me completely cuz I do let what other people thing stop me from living. Problem is, most of the time, I don't find any pleasure in living, so I just let it go on and I continue to be miserable. But I understand what you said about finding a new group of people who will "fall into your gravitational pull" (I like how you put that)...I don't know how to get there....but it's like...I was hanging out with my friends on Monday we were having game night....and I couldn't help thinking, these people are great but I don't feel connected to any of them at all, except my best friend, who is really the only reason I hang out with them. Like, they are all on a trip right now and I couldn't go and I don't even feel that bad because it actually sounds like torture. And those are the people I call friends and they are great people I just don't know why I close off myself all the time.
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