An update?! MADNESS!
I'm about to go to sleep but I felt like writing some junk in here for a change. Crazy, I know. First of all, it is good to have a purpose once again. I haven't had one of those in quite a while, over a year now I'd say, and now I've got at least a general idea of the path I want to follow. I'm applying to law school. I'm already signed up for the LSAT on December 2nd, thats the law school entrance exam, and if I do well on that (I'm pretty smart with logic/word/english type stuff, so hopefully I will), I'll be applying to at least four schools, three here in michigan, and one in hawaii, cuz, why the hell not? So thats good. I'm gonna take the practice LSAT this weekend, mail it out and see how I do by the end of november, and probably get me a study book for the LSAT too. So its good to have a goal again.
Secondly, I saw the best concert I have ever seen in my life on tuesday. The number 2 spot on my best bands ever list has changed. It used to be Mars Volta, and I thought it always would be, with White Stripes a very close 3rd, but they have been bumped. The Decemberists are my favorite band around today. Holy crap. If there was ever a genre of music called "novel writer's music" or simply "intelligent people rock", it is this band. The concert was amazing. He got all of the crowd yelling "hear all the bombs, fade away..." a bunch of times, signifying all of our dislike of George Bush. They even had a SKIT for one of their songs, out in the crowd. Colin Meloy is a lyrical genius. Whereas Jack White is a genius musically, mostly with his guitar, Colin Meloy (thats the lead singer) is a master of words. One of their songs, my second favorite probably, is called "Engine Driver", and the chorus is "For am I writer, writer of fictions, I am the heart that you call home. And I've written pages, upon pages, trying to rid you from my bones." Dude, heck yeah. That is EXACTLY how I feel about someone and how I know I will absolutely always feel about her. I want to give her up but its simply no use. And I myself hope to be a writer someday, and she will naturally be a subject of my songs. The purpose of the song is to talk of this guys various lives he has lived, both in and out of his stories, yet he can never forget this one girl. He will always be tortured by his love for her. Simply fantastic. Every single one of their songs tells a story, which means it isn't anything at all like the tripe that passes for music on the radio these days. They have a romantic song called "Red Right Ankle" which must have been about a girl Colin Meloy loved, and I think that I myself am I a little in love with that same girl he is talking about at the end of the song. Thats how great that band is, you actually care about what they have to say, its not just a catchy rhythm. I can't say enough good things about them. So move over Mars Volta, the #2 spot now firmly belongs to the Decemberists.
To anyone who wondered, the Beatles are and always will be #1.
This part of the year, this year that has probably been the worst of my life, has been much better. Thanks in no small part to video games, because this is always the best time of the year for those and this year seems better than most, but also because of movies (I am taking a film class) and the two people around who actually enjoy my company. Thank you Nate and Janelle. Talking to Lin on occassion is always nice as well, and the Sheridan girl I met from playing WoW (pretty much the only good thing to come of wasting five months of this year on that stupid game) is a sweet girl and will hopefully end up as happy as she deserves to be someday. I even considered moving to Seattle for a little while just so I could hang out with her (did I mention shes beautiful as well? How do I have a knack for meeting exclusively beautiful women online? First Micaela, then Lin, and now Sheridan. Its a gift I guess, perhaps to compensate for my utter lack of finding nice, pretty girls in real life?), until I realized that wasn't at all feasible and I don't really want to leave my grandparents here, as, as much as I hate to admit it, they probably only have a few years left. I just try not to think about that anymore.
On to the negative, I honestly I have never had fewer friends in my entire life. Not ever. Not even CLOSE to this few. I hang out with Dave about once a week, maybe twice, Nate goes to movies and concerts with me, and I talk to Janelle through phone and text messages on the weekends, and hang out with her at work. That is IT. Rick never calls me. Kristin never tries to do anything with me. Lauren has long forgotten me. I don't talk to Brian anymore. Travis invites everyone else to parties and doesn't include me. Ashley hates me because of some bullshit, mostly from me being an jealous asshole who runs his mouth too much sometimes, but isn't everyone a jealous asshole sometimes? Also, it'd be nice if she could have understood that and just dealt with me and kept me as a friend, lord knows her current boyfriend has done FAR worse shit to her, MUCH worse than what I simply SAID, and she keeps taking him back. I still miss her sometimes, because she made me, and she made everyone else who was around her, feel special. There aren't many people like that in this world. Lin is one however, its nice to know her. You know who I REALLY miss though? Stephanie and John. I honestly have no clue whatsoever what I did to piss them off so much, but I guess I did it. I wasn't invited to her birthday party like I usually am, and I was really sad when I picked up Guitar Hero 2 the other day, because I knew I would be playing it alone. John and I would rock OUT on the first one and we had some great times. But I know there isn't any point in trying to contact them anymore because I tried on my birthday and never heard anything back at all. I guess they are done with me and I really don't know why. I don't know why MOST people have just written me off, and it was what really made me think "FUCK! I need a fucking PURPOSE! Everyone else has abandoned me, its time to DO SOMETHING!". I guess maybe I should thank them? Because shit, if I'd have went around drifting, having this great life with friends, for a few more years, I could end up being fucking 30 years old before I even started grad school/law school/something else besides undergrad studies.
So, I don't know, blessing in disguise maybe?
Then theres Rachael Sargent. Jesus christ, why even come back into my life if you were only planning on being there for a week or two? I'm still waiting for a response about whether or not she is going with me to Loren and Kristen's wedding, which, oh wait, happened in MUTHERFUCKING JULY. I think about her on every nice day, fucking STILL. I wish I didn't. I STILL thank the big man above every night for having her in my life for those years, because no girl understood me that well and I don't know if I will ever be that close to a girl again. I am close to Janelle, closer to her than I ever would have been with Rachael in some aspects (mainly just that she trusts me more with important shit, shit Rachael would have thought might bother me when we were friends), but Rachael just felt, comfortable around me, we could say or do anything to each other and it didn't matter, you know? Anyone else had that? That stupid fucking girl will always have a piece of my heart, and shes probably gone for good this time. Honestly, I don't think I would want her back again. I don't know if my heart could take it if she just came back with a half-hearted attempt at friendship again and then left me in the dust again a month later. I don't want to become a bitter and cynical old man at my age, I've still got a few years left to have faith in people, don't I? Sometimes I wonder if she took such a big part that I honestly don't know if I'll have what we had with another girl. I hope so, but at 20 fucking 6 years old it doesn't look too goddam likely.
I also miss Kelsey. Kelsey, shit, the two or three people who read this probably don't even know who she was. I miss her because she was so smart. She was a genius. She also loved the decemberists and would have cheered me on as I read the 14 (!) Kurt Vonnegut books I have read since August. She was an intellectual and I simply don't know many of those anymore (Janelle is one, but in different ways than Kelsey was. Kelsey and I were alot alike I think).
Enough negative. Its like Lin's entry said the other day, I'm in a good mood, I don't even mean to BE negative, just some shit I'd like to write out. Its 430 in the morning so I guess I'm going to wrap this up even though I have alot more to say, but I AM truly proud of America for once, something I didn't think I would ever say after the summer Big Mommas House swept the box office and was the #1 movie of that summer. But, the democrats control all aspects of Congress now. Bush's power trip will be curbed. He will not have the ability to kill us all by sending us to war with Iran anymore, the democrats will put the kibosh on that. And, god help us all, hopefully they will try to bring back Habeus Corpus for all of us, and we will have our fucking rights back that Bush so gleefully took away. One can hope. But this is certainly a step in the right direction, as was Borat, the funniest, most offensive, and incredibly anti-bush movie, being #1 in america despite only opening in 850 theaters. Thank CHRIST it beat out pointless drivel like The Santa Clause 3 (3?! FUCK! DID WE EVEN NEED A #1?!?), there is hope for America yet. And Steven Colbert, an absolute genius. This guy is exactly what people meant when they started calling people "the man". He started out kinda nervous on his show, you could tell, but now he is the master of his show, and knows exactly what he is doing. I don't know how he keeps a straight face through some of his stuff (I wonder the same about Sacha Baron Cohen as Borat. He is Colbert's equal in genius...osity.), like the tirade about democrats winning Congress the other day. I was in tears from laughing so hard and here this guy is spouting off some of the most ridiculous shit (that fucking idiots like Bill O'Reilly and Rush Limbaugh probably honestly believe) with a completely straight face. Pure genius.
Thats all I got for now, didn't expect to write this long. If you got through this, I salute you.
Secondly, I saw the best concert I have ever seen in my life on tuesday. The number 2 spot on my best bands ever list has changed. It used to be Mars Volta, and I thought it always would be, with White Stripes a very close 3rd, but they have been bumped. The Decemberists are my favorite band around today. Holy crap. If there was ever a genre of music called "novel writer's music" or simply "intelligent people rock", it is this band. The concert was amazing. He got all of the crowd yelling "hear all the bombs, fade away..." a bunch of times, signifying all of our dislike of George Bush. They even had a SKIT for one of their songs, out in the crowd. Colin Meloy is a lyrical genius. Whereas Jack White is a genius musically, mostly with his guitar, Colin Meloy (thats the lead singer) is a master of words. One of their songs, my second favorite probably, is called "Engine Driver", and the chorus is "For am I writer, writer of fictions, I am the heart that you call home. And I've written pages, upon pages, trying to rid you from my bones." Dude, heck yeah. That is EXACTLY how I feel about someone and how I know I will absolutely always feel about her. I want to give her up but its simply no use. And I myself hope to be a writer someday, and she will naturally be a subject of my songs. The purpose of the song is to talk of this guys various lives he has lived, both in and out of his stories, yet he can never forget this one girl. He will always be tortured by his love for her. Simply fantastic. Every single one of their songs tells a story, which means it isn't anything at all like the tripe that passes for music on the radio these days. They have a romantic song called "Red Right Ankle" which must have been about a girl Colin Meloy loved, and I think that I myself am I a little in love with that same girl he is talking about at the end of the song. Thats how great that band is, you actually care about what they have to say, its not just a catchy rhythm. I can't say enough good things about them. So move over Mars Volta, the #2 spot now firmly belongs to the Decemberists.
To anyone who wondered, the Beatles are and always will be #1.
This part of the year, this year that has probably been the worst of my life, has been much better. Thanks in no small part to video games, because this is always the best time of the year for those and this year seems better than most, but also because of movies (I am taking a film class) and the two people around who actually enjoy my company. Thank you Nate and Janelle. Talking to Lin on occassion is always nice as well, and the Sheridan girl I met from playing WoW (pretty much the only good thing to come of wasting five months of this year on that stupid game) is a sweet girl and will hopefully end up as happy as she deserves to be someday. I even considered moving to Seattle for a little while just so I could hang out with her (did I mention shes beautiful as well? How do I have a knack for meeting exclusively beautiful women online? First Micaela, then Lin, and now Sheridan. Its a gift I guess, perhaps to compensate for my utter lack of finding nice, pretty girls in real life?), until I realized that wasn't at all feasible and I don't really want to leave my grandparents here, as, as much as I hate to admit it, they probably only have a few years left. I just try not to think about that anymore.
On to the negative, I honestly I have never had fewer friends in my entire life. Not ever. Not even CLOSE to this few. I hang out with Dave about once a week, maybe twice, Nate goes to movies and concerts with me, and I talk to Janelle through phone and text messages on the weekends, and hang out with her at work. That is IT. Rick never calls me. Kristin never tries to do anything with me. Lauren has long forgotten me. I don't talk to Brian anymore. Travis invites everyone else to parties and doesn't include me. Ashley hates me because of some bullshit, mostly from me being an jealous asshole who runs his mouth too much sometimes, but isn't everyone a jealous asshole sometimes? Also, it'd be nice if she could have understood that and just dealt with me and kept me as a friend, lord knows her current boyfriend has done FAR worse shit to her, MUCH worse than what I simply SAID, and she keeps taking him back. I still miss her sometimes, because she made me, and she made everyone else who was around her, feel special. There aren't many people like that in this world. Lin is one however, its nice to know her. You know who I REALLY miss though? Stephanie and John. I honestly have no clue whatsoever what I did to piss them off so much, but I guess I did it. I wasn't invited to her birthday party like I usually am, and I was really sad when I picked up Guitar Hero 2 the other day, because I knew I would be playing it alone. John and I would rock OUT on the first one and we had some great times. But I know there isn't any point in trying to contact them anymore because I tried on my birthday and never heard anything back at all. I guess they are done with me and I really don't know why. I don't know why MOST people have just written me off, and it was what really made me think "FUCK! I need a fucking PURPOSE! Everyone else has abandoned me, its time to DO SOMETHING!". I guess maybe I should thank them? Because shit, if I'd have went around drifting, having this great life with friends, for a few more years, I could end up being fucking 30 years old before I even started grad school/law school/something else besides undergrad studies.
So, I don't know, blessing in disguise maybe?
Then theres Rachael Sargent. Jesus christ, why even come back into my life if you were only planning on being there for a week or two? I'm still waiting for a response about whether or not she is going with me to Loren and Kristen's wedding, which, oh wait, happened in MUTHERFUCKING JULY. I think about her on every nice day, fucking STILL. I wish I didn't. I STILL thank the big man above every night for having her in my life for those years, because no girl understood me that well and I don't know if I will ever be that close to a girl again. I am close to Janelle, closer to her than I ever would have been with Rachael in some aspects (mainly just that she trusts me more with important shit, shit Rachael would have thought might bother me when we were friends), but Rachael just felt, comfortable around me, we could say or do anything to each other and it didn't matter, you know? Anyone else had that? That stupid fucking girl will always have a piece of my heart, and shes probably gone for good this time. Honestly, I don't think I would want her back again. I don't know if my heart could take it if she just came back with a half-hearted attempt at friendship again and then left me in the dust again a month later. I don't want to become a bitter and cynical old man at my age, I've still got a few years left to have faith in people, don't I? Sometimes I wonder if she took such a big part that I honestly don't know if I'll have what we had with another girl. I hope so, but at 20 fucking 6 years old it doesn't look too goddam likely.
I also miss Kelsey. Kelsey, shit, the two or three people who read this probably don't even know who she was. I miss her because she was so smart. She was a genius. She also loved the decemberists and would have cheered me on as I read the 14 (!) Kurt Vonnegut books I have read since August. She was an intellectual and I simply don't know many of those anymore (Janelle is one, but in different ways than Kelsey was. Kelsey and I were alot alike I think).
Enough negative. Its like Lin's entry said the other day, I'm in a good mood, I don't even mean to BE negative, just some shit I'd like to write out. Its 430 in the morning so I guess I'm going to wrap this up even though I have alot more to say, but I AM truly proud of America for once, something I didn't think I would ever say after the summer Big Mommas House swept the box office and was the #1 movie of that summer. But, the democrats control all aspects of Congress now. Bush's power trip will be curbed. He will not have the ability to kill us all by sending us to war with Iran anymore, the democrats will put the kibosh on that. And, god help us all, hopefully they will try to bring back Habeus Corpus for all of us, and we will have our fucking rights back that Bush so gleefully took away. One can hope. But this is certainly a step in the right direction, as was Borat, the funniest, most offensive, and incredibly anti-bush movie, being #1 in america despite only opening in 850 theaters. Thank CHRIST it beat out pointless drivel like The Santa Clause 3 (3?! FUCK! DID WE EVEN NEED A #1?!?), there is hope for America yet. And Steven Colbert, an absolute genius. This guy is exactly what people meant when they started calling people "the man". He started out kinda nervous on his show, you could tell, but now he is the master of his show, and knows exactly what he is doing. I don't know how he keeps a straight face through some of his stuff (I wonder the same about Sacha Baron Cohen as Borat. He is Colbert's equal in genius...osity.), like the tirade about democrats winning Congress the other day. I was in tears from laughing so hard and here this guy is spouting off some of the most ridiculous shit (that fucking idiots like Bill O'Reilly and Rush Limbaugh probably honestly believe) with a completely straight face. Pure genius.
Thats all I got for now, didn't expect to write this long. If you got through this, I salute you.