READ ME FIRST: regarding angst poems: a manual
So, here's a re-post inspired by the Fry & Laurie skit above. Enjoy and don't forget to comment!
This is a little film I made a while ago as a tribute to the hundreds of bad poems I’ve read. If you feel inspired after watching this very frightening film, I’ve provided a helpful guide to pain poetry below. Follow just a few of these simple rules and I can guarantee you’ll never accidentally write a good poem!
http://mm.dfilm.com/mm2s/mm_route.php?id=2848963
How to write classic bad angst poetry:
- nonsensical paradox: If it doesn't make sense, it must be poetry!
- using . . . ellipsis . . . : Nothing says profound, pregnant pause quite like ellipsis!
- repetition, repetition, repetition : If it was worth using that word once, you should do it again and again for emphasis!
- always allow allotments for alliteration and assonance: The more alliteration and assonance packed into every line, the more it is a poem. + 10 points for internal rhymes.
- faux-archaic vocabulary: Thy olde writers knewe well how to suffer and thou canst use their ensample.
- formatting &
alignment
make words
into poetry:
Be sure to scatter words randomly about the page, since only losers write poems that are all left-aligned.
- random *and* unmotivated use of bold, italics and underlining: Rich-text format sets poets apart from mere mortals.
- And most importantly of all: at all costs, eschew content: If your writing means anything or is about anything, it can’t be a poem!