As Long As It's You (4/8)
Part 3
"You know, Daniel, of all the ways I've imagined having you naked in bed, this was not on the list."
Daniel smiled and cracked an eye open, not so much amused by what was said as by the fact that Vala had said the same thing every few hours for the past three days. Each time, he'd pretended to be asleep, but he was feeling much better now, and didn't want to let the comment go without remark. "What, helpless and at your mercy?"
Vala yelped in surprise, nearly dropping her armload of wood. "I thought you were asleep!"
He rolled his shoulders. "I'm feeling pretty good, today... might finally be getting better." He sat up, conscious of the fact that he was-as Vala pointed out-naked beneath the sleeping bag. Vala had taken his soiled clothes from him two days earlier, and it had been easier to deal with his illness without having to worry about needing to rip off pants and underwear on the rapid dash to the latrine... just wrap one of the panels of hideous cloth around his hips and move as quickly as his exhausted body would let him.
"Any soreness? Discomfort? Swelling?"
"Not really, no, and no." He tipped his head to one side. "You've done a good job taking care of me."
Vala smiled thinly, then bent to gather the wood she'd accidentally dropped. "I did what I could."
"It was enough," he assured her. "You couldn't have known."
"But I could have been more careful," she reminded him, brandishing a stick at him briefly before placing it onto her growing pile.
"Yeah, well so could I." Snagging one of the cloths, he wrapped it around his waist and crawled out of the sleeping bag. He'd been doing a lot of thinking before dropping off to sleep the night before, and had come to some frank conclusions about both his behavior and Vala's. "The point is, we both made mistakes, but I think we've both learned from them... let's move on. Like you said the other day, life's too short."
"Yours was almost cut short," she retorted, breaking a too-long branch in half.
"And you saved me," he replied. He found clean briefs in their stack of laundry and pulled them on underneath the makeshift kilt, then cast the cloth aside to step into a pair of BDU pants. "Food poisoning like that on Earth? I'd have been in the infirmary or hospital, hooked up to a heart monitor, oxygen tubes, IV, catheter..."
"Ew."
"Exactly, and I'd have spent several more days recovering, maybe even weeks. But thanks to you and that healing device, I'm pretty much back to normal in only a few days." He pulled on a t-shirt and his glasses, then squatted down to help finish gathering the fallen sticks. "You know, I've been thinking... Many cultures, both on Earth and out... here... have a regular day of rest. For most, it's a religious mandate-a day of prayer and thanks giving-but the concept is sound for other reasons."
"You're saying we need weekends?" Vala asked, smiling a little.
"Weekends and holidays," he agreed. "Neither of us is religiously inclined, obviously, but we're heading for burn-out if we don't take time off from surviving to live."
She dumped her load of sticks into the "woodbox" they'd created in the space between the tool-filled crate and the wall, then brushed her hands off on her pants. "So... we're taking some days off."
"At least one every five days or so."
"A day of rest and relaxation?"
"Doing nothing more strenuous than cooking our meals."
Vala's lips twisted impishly. "So we could do something fun for a change. Are you sure you can handle that?"
Daniel smiled at the return of the "real" Vala. "It'll be tough, but I might be able to manage."
"Even if it involves laughing?" she teased.
"I don't know if my frown lines can take the strain, but I'll give it a try."
"Basketball?"
"We're minus the ball and the basket, but sure."
"Fishing?"
"Who are you, Jack's evil twin?" he griped, and Vala grinned in reply. "As far as I'm concerned, that's work, not play."
"So I guess hockey is out?" she joked. "Okay, let me think... hide and seek?"
"A whole planet to hide on... why not?"
"Cops and Robbers?"
"Only if you let me be the robber once in a while."
"Oooh, kinky. And here we have all those lovely toys the Oranians left us."
"Don't go there."
"Already went. Skinny-dipping?"
He rolled his eyes. "Now that you've seen everything I've got, the thrill's not gone?"
"The thrill will never be gone as long as it's you." Face suddenly going pale, she turned around and beat a hasty retreat from the cave.
Dumbfounded, Daniel could only stare at where she had vanished, mouth hanging open while he puzzled out not only what she'd said, but how she'd reacted to it.
It was no secret Vala enjoyed winding him up, as it was one of the many traits she shared with Jack... though Daniel had made certain to never inform the two of their similarities lest they decide to double-team him. Jack's "dumb act" was how he accomplished the task, and he usually achieved his goal by either getting Daniel confused following the twists of O'Neillian logic or by springing something insightful and intelligent into a conversation he'd spent the majority of feigning ignorance.
Vala, however, tended to use his old-fashioned sensibilities against him time and time again, so Daniel's modesty and sense of propriety were her favorite targets. He might have been an anthropologist with an ability to adapt to differing cultural mores while in the midst of them, but there were still a few things he couldn't get used to when it came to himself and while on "home" territory. Too many years being the youngest, smallest, and skinniest kid in gym class had left him too self-conscious to parade around in the all-together, and even though he knew he'd come a long way physically since joining the SGC, some habits were too ingrained to ignore.
His parents had enjoyed a partnership of equals, while his foster parents, the Washingtons, had been the stereotypical bread-winner and housewife, but with a shared affection no less than the Jacksons had demonstrated. Between the two, he'd inherited an ability to ignore gender when it came to intellectual ability, but still maintained a protective instinct toward women he couldn't make himself deny, even when it involved someone more physically capable than himself. He couldn't count the number of times Sam had chided him for pulling a 'white knight' number on her when she could take him down without breaking a sweat.
Vala was much the same. She'd kicked his ass aboard the Prometheus, in part because she was a dirty fighter, but also because she'd played on his protective nature, tricking him into pulling his punches and not taking advantage of openings he otherwise wouldn't have ignored. For as long as he'd known her, she said things to and about him that were so outrageous, had she been male and the target of her suggestive comments female, he'd have had no qualms about taking her to task for being sexist.
The thrill will never be gone as long as it's you.
So Vala got a kick out of needling him... what was new? She knew the right buttons to push to leave him spluttering in incoherent confusion. Early on, he'd discovered her flirtatious behavior was a defense mechanism. Much like Jack's "dumb act" was intended to make allies and enemies alike understimate his intelligence, Vala deliberately played up the "sex kitten" routine to goad men into thinking with their hormones, and women into flying into fits of jealous or feminist rage.
In contrast, Sam had once gone the opposite route. With rumors that she was sleeping her way through the ranks running rampant following the Za'tarc incident, she'd traded in her shoulder-length hair for a boy-cut, scaled back the amount of make-up she wore, and generally made efforts to minimize her femininity without swinging into "butchdom", as she'd once put it. Eventually, the rumors had died, and confident her place at the SGC was still secure, she'd relaxed again. Almost a decade later, she now, wore her hair halfway down her back, and her shoulders were adorned by a pair of shiny eagles that had nothing to do with her gender and everything to do with her abilities and commitment to service.
Again, though, Daniel was seeing parallels between Sam and Vala. When Vala first came to the SGC, she flirted outrageously with everyone, male or female. She made creative alterations to her BDUs, such as cutting a slit in the front of her shirt or wearing non-regulation tank-tops that showed off her cleavage. Every opportune moment she found to remind people she wasn't from Earth, she seized upon and flaunted. Eventually, she'd won acceptance at the SGC despite her quirks, and she'd slowly begun scaling back on her efforts to stand out. She embraced American culture, her uniforms went largely unaltered, and her flirtation lessened to mutually playful.
Except with him, but even then, she hardly teased him when others were around. Winding him up with her flirty behavior was apparently a private thrill.
The thrill will never be gone as long as it's you.
As long as it's you.
Holy... buckets.
Jamming his feet into his boots without bothering with socks or laces, Daniel raced out of the cave.
* * *
Vala sat at the edge of the terrace, boots sitting at her side and bare feet dangled out over the lake as she gazed off into nothingness. The view from here was spectacular as always, but she wasn't looking at the dazzling blue waters, the muted green of the trees on the distant shore, or even the fluffy clouds floating in the otherwise pristine sky. Her mind was instead on the man she'd left in the safety of the nearby cave.
For three long days, she'd hovered while Daniel fought off the poison in his bloodstream. With the hand device useless, her assistance had been limited to helping him stagger to the latrine, forcing him to drink water to combat dehydration, and bathing his soiled and sweaty body when he passed out. The powdered energy drinks they'd been saving also came in handy, as Daniel was able to take in much-needed nutrients without endangering his abused system further.
Vala wasn't accustomed to being helpless. While a slave to the weapons trader her treacherous stepmother had sold her to, she'd found ways to dig at Firenze and his equally-disgusting clients and friends. While a prisoner of Qetesh, she'd found ways to influence the symbiote and gain some small measure of satisfaction at altering the Goa'uld's plans. While a reluctant "guest" of the Ori, she'd gladly joined the small resistance movement in their attempt to thwart the impending invasion.
Three times, now, she'd been helpless to do anything while Daniel suffered. The first time had been when Daniel had fallen ill on a training mission during her early days as a member of the SGC, and she'd nearly given up and fled the planet in despair at her inability to help him. The second was when he'd absorbed Merlin's consciousness and was losing himself to the Ancient, and again hours later when he was captured defending the rest of the team's escape from Adria. The third, of course, was the last several days.
It was amazing how easily Vala had gotten accustomed to the medical miracles Doctor Lam and her team could produce. There were times when it seemed as though there were hardly any injuries or illnesses the SGC's medical staff couldn't remedy, and Carolyn knew her limitations well enough to call on Vala and the Goa'uld healing device for some of the more severe or debilitating injuries. One of those times was after Daniel returned from Atlantis with his innards held together by surgical glue and iron will. Carolyn had known it would be months of painful recovery before he'd be back on his feet, and several more months before he was cleared for full duty. The CMO had made a phone call to Vala, and after only a few minutes with the hand device, Daniel was good as new.
This time, with the healing device ineffectual and no Stargate to go through for help, she was on her own. She was grateful for the first aid training the SGC had insisted she learn, but that didn't stop her from worrying there was something she wasn't doing right, or something she could be doing that she wasn't. Daniel's recovery, she felt, was due more to his stubborn nature than anything she had done to help.
A sudden rustling behind her alerted her that she'd been discovered. A long moment of silence later, a pair of boot-encased feet entered her peripheral vision, then Daniel lowered himself to sit next to her. After a moment, he pulled off his own footware and set it aside, letting his own bare feet hang over the terrace's edge.
"So... come here often?"
The opening was lame but so utterly Daniel that it made her smile. "Not for a few days, but the last time I was here, I used this spot for a diving board."
"Really? How'd that work out for you?"
Her smile faded. "Not so well."
"It couldn't have been that bad... you don't look like a mud puppy any more." Silence fell again before Daniel chose to break it. "I want us to be friends."
Vala swallowed heavily, her chest feeling suddenly tight. "I understand."
"No, I don't think you do."
"Daniel, I-"
"Vala, just listen to me for a minute, okay?"
She nodded, closing her eyes and dropping her chin to her chest. She knew a small part of her had never been willing to give up hope, but for the last two years, she'd let herself be content with what she had. Daniel wanted to be friends, so that was still there, wasn't it? Shouldn't she be... content?
"I told you about Sha're, didn't I? About how we met, and how I lost her?" He waited for Vala to nod again before continuing. "I loved Sha're with all my heart, and I know she loved me, but we hardly knew one another. There were times I'd do something I didn't even think about and she'd react to it in a way I didn't expect, and there'd be... tension, I guess you could say, until the matter was resolved. Eventually, I came to understand her a little better after learning more about the Abydonian culture she'd grown up in, but I don't think she ever really understood me. It was part of the reason I unburied the 'Gate on Abydos: I hoped that one day, I'd be able to take her back to Earth and show her where I was from and how it had made me who I was."
He exhaled. "I never got that chance. I loved her, Vala, but we weren't friends. Hell, in the eyes of her culture, we could never be equals, and that was something that was as important to me as anything else in our relationship. My parents were equals, you see, intellectual and academic peers who'd found love in one another. Oh, Sha're was smart-incredibly smart-but she couldn't understand why I always asked her opinion, why I tried to help her with chores, or why I hated it that she believed having sex with me was one of her obligations to our marriage."
"Some men wouldn't have minded that," Vala said, frowning.
"And as I'm sure you know, I'm not one of them," Daniel answered. "The point is, I'm not sure love would have been enough to keep us together if Sha're couldn't adapt to life on Earth. And if she couldn't adapt, I couldn't divorce her, either, as her life on Abydos would then have been ruined. My status on their planet meant that my rejection of her would have been a taint to her reputation she could never overcome, and I couldn't do that to her. We were both trapped, really.
"For a long time, a part of me felt guilty for her kidnapping and eventual death. Even though I now know it would have been only a matter of time before one of the System Lords came to Abydos by ship, I was the one who ordered the 'Gate unburied. I couldn't save her, and it was only recently that I finally let go of the guilt I felt for thinking that her death had freed us both." He exhaled heavily. "I don't want us to be like that."
For the first time, Vala dared to glance at him. His gaze was as distant as hers had been before his arrival. "I'm okay with that," she offered. "I already consider you a... friend."
Daniel's eyebrows rose as he turned to look at her. "Yeah? 'Cause I have to be honest here: if this is going to work, we're both going to have to make some changes."
Grimacing, Vala pulled her feet up and wrapped her arms around her knees. "What kind of changes are we talking about?"
"These masks we wear... we have to start lowering them. I can't speak for you, but I'm pretty sure I've never let you see the 'real' me. I mean, earlier, I was thinking that when I got you to start joking again, that that was the 'real' you, but I don't really know for sure. All I know is that most of the time, the only face I show you is 'Doctor Jackson', not 'Daniel'."
Vala frowned, scooting away from the cliff edge so she could lean back against a tree. "I don't think of you like that. You're 'Daniel' to me."
"Am I? So then you... know why I used to be afraid of heights... or how I got the scar on my left shin. Do you know my favorite foods, color, or music?"
"Those things aren't who you are," Vala argued. "The 'Daniel' I know I've discovered on my own-by working with you-and because I know you on that level, I don't care about the rest. It's all superficial... it's not important."
"But it is important because it's all a part of who I am, and it all helps make me who I am. The two of us... we don't spend time together off-base as friends without the 'co-workers' side of things creeping in there. Even these last two weeks here, most of our interactions have been as teammates first and foremost." His face was alight with the sort of passion she usually equated with him defending a philosophical point or arguing for his teammates' lives. "The story you told about the plays you used to watch? I loved hearing that, because that was something about you I never knew, and it had nothing to do with anything except that it was part of who you are."
Her mouth forming an understanding "o" as she realized that both observations were true: he was expressing a belief and making a case for one of his teammates. More accurately, she thought with a smile, he was arguing for one of his friends, and if she understood the core of his argument, for someone he wanted to be more than merely a friend. On an impulse, Vala thrust her right hand toward him, palm open and turned sideways. "Hi, my name's Vala Mal Doran."
After a brief pause for surprise, Daniel echoed her smile and shook her hand. "Daniel Jackson. Is Mal your middle name or part of your last name?"
"Last name. It means 'daughter of her mother', and my mother's name was Doran."
"Oh! My mother's name was Claire, and my father was Melburn."
Vala's smile widened. "Pleased to meet you, Daniel, son of Melburn and Claire. So... come here often?"
* * *
They took it easy the rest of the day, making it their first "holiday" of what could be many more to come. They decided on a temporary calendar of five work days for every one rest day, but agreed that once they had an accurate measurement of the lunar cycle, there might be some adjustment to the length of their "week". They also found that making long term plans for their stay on the planet was sobering, but also helped them to feel as though they were taking some control of their situation, rather than just reacting to events as they came.
The first "official" work days were spent removing the last of the supplies from the cargo ship, gathering more plants for Daniel to test for edibility-though Vala shuddered at the thought-and fishing. Fortunately, the survival kit included in their SGC gear came with a set of fishing hooks and a spool of microfilament, and a number of worms were found by turning over a large rock near the shore. They didn't catch anything their first time out, but the number of worms they lost in the attempt suggested an active fish population in the water.
Most of their second holiday was spent huddled inside the cave on account of rain, so they passed the time sharing stories from their pasts and playing cards using the deck Vala included in her toiletry kit. As the afternoon wore on, their enthusiasm for doing nothing began to wane, so when the rain finally stopped, Vala volunteered to try fishing again. For his part, Daniel set about planning a better front wall for their humble abode, as well as thinking of ways to build furniture, food storage, and other things they might need. The mallet and pegs, for example, could be put to further use for splitting logs.
With their supply of MREs running dangerously low, they made the decision in the middle of their third week to go to native food only, and save the remaining ration packs for an emergency. Breakfast that day consisted of "blandroot" boiled to mush, but lunch and supper were a bit more flavorful thanks to the fish Vala caught and the fuzzberries Daniel added to the mush to give it more flavor. That evening, Vala finally bagged a goose, so Daniel got out the razor saw and machete, cut down a few slender saplings, and built a roasting spit. A few days later, a smoking rack was assembled next to the spit.
The next several weeks went along similarly, with Daniel and Vala splitting the hunting and gathering duties, as well as spending time making improvements to their home. Clay dredged from the lake was packed into crude wooden molds and baked in the sun for several days to produce bricks. Berries were dried, seeds were roasted, and fish were smoked. Long grasses from the plain where their ship crashed were dried and twisted into pieces of twine, which could then be used to lash together poles and logs.
Throughout it all, Daniel and Vala took the time to talk to one another about things they'd never really told anyone else. They laughed together, cried together, and took pride in each other's many accomplishments and successes. Daniel was astounded by how hard Vala's life had been both before and after her imprisonment by Qetesh, and his respect and admiration for her strength grew exponentially. Vala was dismayed to discover just how much of his life Daniel had been alone, and it thrilled and humbled her that she was being allowed inside the metaphorical walls the "real" Daniel had hidden behind for most of his life.
One night, Vala recounted the bittersweet story of nearly starving to death until she was saved by a wealthy landowner she'd once helped rob. The man had recognized her, but his moral code was such that he would not see her suffer. After she had regained sufficient strength, the landowner had put her to work in the laundry of his estate, but Vala made her escape after only a single day of washing.
"I fed you on the Prometheus," Daniel recalled, noticing the similarity to his own first encounter with the former thief.
"Even though I'd just stolen your ship and kidnapped you," Vala smiled, snuggling against his shoulder as they lazed about by the evening fire. "And after helping you once, I escaped."
"You came back. Did you ever go back to the landowner?"
Vala bit her lower lip. "He's probably dead. Halseth's world was one of those on the list of planets conquered by the Ori. I don't think he'd have compromised his principles any more than you would have."
"I've compromised."
"No, you haven't. You've made alterations and maybe bent your own rules a time or two when the situation called for it, but you've never broken them."
"I'm not the same man I was back when the Stargate was first opened," he sighed. "I've changed... a lot, and not always for the better. I look back at who I used to be and... I hardly recognize me anymore."
"Daniel, no one could have gone through everything you have and come away unscathed. And just because you may have become less naive or a little more cynical, doesn't mean what makes you you has changed." She frowned. "By breaking your trust time and time again, I'm responsible for some of that."
"You've always come through for me when it matters," he denied.
"And I'll try to never again let you down," she vowed. "Besides, every time I start to do something I know I shouldn't, a voice inside my head-which sounds suspiciously like you, by the way-warns me off. Are you sure you're not telepathic?"
"Positive," Daniel laughed. "Sounds to me like you've got a nagging conscious... emphasis on the 'nagging'."
She snuggled against his side with a contented sigh. "You're my Jiminy Cricket."
Putting his arm around her shoulders, he laughed again, and leaned over to kiss the top of her head. "And you're my Blue Fairy. You make me human." Vala twisted around to stare at him. "You make me laugh, cry, get mad, and everything in between. I had been shutting myself-my emotions-off for years before you came along, but within a few hours of our first meeting, you had me so confused and conflicted, I hardly knew whether to kiss you or hit you."
"We did both," Vala grinned.
"I think we hit each other more than we kissed."
"Well, it was a hell of a kiss, so that made up for it."
Instead of replying, Daniel cupped his hand to her jaw, leaned down again, and pressed his lips against hers. It was a tentative, teasing kiss, but he was back in an instant for more, and this time Vala's surprise had worn off enough that she responded, parting her own lips. Her tongue darted forth inquisitively, and Daniel answered in kind. As the kiss intensified, Vala straddled Daniel's thighs, bringing her arms around his neck and shoulders, and he brought his hands to her waist and hip. Desperate for breath, they separated, but for only a brief moment.
Finally, Daniel let out a groan and eased Vala away from him. "God, Vala..."
"Not a god anymore," she teased, breathless. "Though if you kiss me like that again, I think I'll have found a new religion."
"I would love to kiss you like that again, but I don't want to start anything we can't finish."
"Who says we can't finish? I want to finish."
He smiled sadly, caressing her jaw. "It's just the two of us out here, alone... ah, no pre-natal care, if you catch my drift."
"Ah," Vala smiled. "Hold that thought." Gracefully rising to her feet, she moved to the other side of the fire and pulled her toiletry bag out from the crude shelf Daniel had built to hold their belongings. She unzipped the bag, and dug inside for only a moment before throwing something at him.
He caught it out of the air, then laughed when he realized it was a box of condoms. "'Private girl stuff' in there, huh?"
"Important stuff," she grinned, tossing the bag down without bothering to close it. Instead, she grabbed down one of the bedrolls, unzipped it, and began to open it out on the ground.
Daniel rose to help, and moments later they were sprawling across the bedding in a giggling heap. They made a game of untying each others' boots and tossing them aside, then playfully wrestled for dominance while kissing and stripping off layers of clothing.
Daniel was in the process of helping Vala remove her t-shirt when he stopped the cloth at her elbows, trapping her arms over her head as she lay beneath him. "I love you," he blurted, raising himself up on his hands to look down at her.
With his glasses cast aside, there were no physical barriers between his eyes and hers. Vala met his gaze with a small gasp of excitement and pleasure, delighted by the realization there were no emotional barriers in place, either.
Bringing her arms down around his head, Vala snared him with her t-shirt and pulled herself up to join in another mind-blowing kiss. When his arms began to tremble, she lay back down and drew him with her. "In case it wasn't obvious," she gasped, arching against him, "I love you too. But if you don't help me do something about these clothes..."
"A little less talk, a little more action?"
"A lot more action. I have three more boxes in that bag."
"That's only 48... you sure that'll be enough?"
"Let's find out."
To Be Continued...
...but this will be the last "regular" post of it for now. I had originally intended to end the story after the "introduction" at the edge of the cliff, but I was convinced to let them get rescued, so... more as soon as I can finish it ;)