Regarding my previous entry (again)
Something random first. My brother totally sat on my indemnity form! Thank the good Lord the paper is just a little crumpled. Phew.
From this incident of offending people (sounds strange but heck), I can actually learn and observe many things. This is something good, because I still get something out of this horrible event. I remember ANTM Cycle 4 Episode 8 (I think it's 8) having a photoshoot, where the top 7 girls had to portray one of the 7 deadly sins. Kahlen (my favourite) had to portray wrath. I thought wrath was the easiest to portray. Gluttony is way tough imo. From my previous blog entries and those entries from my previous blog, it doesn't take a genius to figure out the wrath is MY DEADLIEST sin.
When I write about such stuff, I get haters and supporters. Supporters will call the haters "jerks" or something along that line. But I'm a jerk too right? I just wrote the stuff I wanted to talk about, and hurled expletives as if there's no tomorrow. I think I really need to get rid of the wholesome four-letter word that starts with F out of my mind. Also, I want to apologise. I want to apologise to those that are just, impartial, unbiased people, who felt offended by my blog posts.
The web is misleading. People perceive your words differently. What you think you're trying to show, may not be detected by others. They may even misunderstand you. I was told that, I did not do any self reflection, on why I became an OGL reject. To be honest, I did. I didn't state that fact on my blog, doesn't mean that I didn't do any self reflection. I thought about it for really long on 8th Nov. I cried as well. That's not something to be proud of acutally. ~~_~ The reason why I think I am not an OGL, was revealed on the day of my interview as well. I am just too straightforward. I told the interviewers that I'm not a faker. I see no point in being fake! If I hate someone, I'm not going to act as if I'm in love with him/her! I'd still respect that person and be civil. I would not purposely put myself in situations where I have to see that person a long periods of time, or even cooperate with that person. If I had to work with a person I detest, the only thing I can do is to bear with it. I swear I'm used to tolerating. I guess the interviewers were afraid that I would scare the freshies away because I don't give politically correct answers. I do know some fakers who got ino OGL. Isn't it realy tough to be someone you're not? I wonder.
I was also told that I didn't consider the fact that student-selected events and teacher-selected events have different criteria. I did. Most criteria are the same. There're only a few that have been changed to suit the event. Most events require participants to be passionate, driven, and focused. Being inspiring and determined are essential as well. I guess I'm all except for inspiring. But hey, I had inspired Josiah and Yong Wei to love science even more! Sometimes, both types of events consider the results of the applicants. For example, if your results were atrocious, you would probably have difficulties in coping with an additional commitment, and thus, there's no way you can join the event. Being an OGL requires one to be spontaneous and hyper, which I believe I am, because the interviewers told me I was the most enthusiastic they've seen for the day. So I don't think I'm that lousy as an applicant.
I am not the only one what is unhappy and shocked about the selection results. There are others as well, whom I am not going to mention because they expressed their feelings to me, not to the whole world. Moreover, if I mentioned their names, they may encounter confrontations by random councillors, which I do not want. I agree that I have to reflect on my actions, but I feel that, the councillors should reflect on....whether if there is biasedness. But I believe that there are dispassionate leaders.
Things that I've learned:
1. When fighting with monsters, do make sure I do not become one.
I became one before I even fought. That's really bad Jessica. Please control that temper. According to my dad, my granny AND my mummy are just like me. I must break this raging shrew tendencies of all females in my family.
2. The web is seriously misleading.
Is there anything I can do about it? But it's better to talk to people before posting anything on public domains.
3. Channel my rage into doing somethng productive.
I've done housework today. My maid must be really happy.
4. Act like my dad. Harness the power of the Law of Attraction and remind myself of the people that I want to be like.
Harold Shipman Harold Shipman Harold Shipman Harold Shipman Harold Shipman Harold Shipman Harold Shipman Harold Shipman Harold Shipman Harold Shipman Harold Shipman Harold Shipman Harold Shipman
Oops wrong name.
A Jessica that can control her temper
A Jessica that can control her temper
A Jessica that can control her temper
A Jessica that can control her temper
A Jessica that can control her temper
A Jessica that can control her temper
A Jessica that can control her temper
A Jessica that can control her temper
A Jessica that can control her temper
A Jessica that can control her temper
A Jessica that can control her temper
A Jessica that can control her temper
A Jessica that can control her temper
A Jessica that can control her temper
A Jessica that can control her temper
A Jessica that can control her temper
A Jessica that can control her temper
A Jessica that can control her temper
A Jessica that can control her temper
A Jessica that can control her temper
A Jessica that can control her temper