Haru c45 rough summary and translation
So as I said in a previous comment, I dug into this text and I somewhat regret that I didn't try to get into the previous chapter as well to see what iwaki went through...
I won't post my rough translation because I picked up sentences here and there to give me pointers on the situation, so it's all patched together with many holes and even though I understand myself, I'm not sure I can be understood by native english speakers (i learned english at school).
Anyway, here's the general meaning:
Basically Moshimune says iwaki sucks at playing Suou, the psychopath character: "Didn't I tell you the chara called suou is obscene, cruel and sly?"
He goes on and on about the defaults of iwaki's performance and concludes with: "You ask yourself why I asked you not to go home.
All I wanted is for you to grow wild, to become dirty."
Iwaki protests: "If my performance is so wrong, then what should I say... But stop this! Can't you stop bringing up comments on what's private?!"
Then M. answers with irritating and challenging sentences about being an actor: "If you want to improve, you have to separate (from katou? from his old and usual self? Sorry there's a verb contraction I don't get at all and that M. uses frequently)
I thought you would get it but it seems you're not ready to move and it's a pity.
Private matters are important. Experiencing (with different things, circumstances) is what being an actor is about, don't you think?
Whatever the circumstances, to seek enrichment for your performance, isn't it the characteristic of actors?
Your actor self and your usual self, which one will serve as pillar for your evolution? (<-- sorry the phrasing is horrible, but I hope you'll get the meaning)"
Then Iwaki goes to the movie interview and meets with katou. He's lost in his thoughts: "[I won't lose to katou]" <--see a previous chapter
"This determination was fed by my pride as an actor.
But soon my heart became confused over my love for Katou battling with the extent of this determination.
My desire to live beside Katou used to be what drives me on.
So I chose a job to aim even higher...
This job is a challenge."
"[Between those two, where goes your preference?]" <--apparently something M. told him in a previous chapter, I assume it's a choice between remaining how he is and taking up the job/challenging himself as an actor.
"How ironical" <-- I think it's iwaki's thinking and not katou as you suggested.
Then Katou gets over iwaki in the elevator. He says he's finally back and will wait for iwaki in their bedroom (remember that iwaki lived separately from katou due to M. and katou chose to go to the US to work on his acting and thus left the house to iwaki). And Iwaki thinking: "Will you be sensitive enough to hear my faint SOS?"
Then it's the evening, iwaki comes back home, katou is waiting for him and grabs him, asking him to choose where they'd do *it*. And iwaki remembers katou (or so I think) saying: "We must not bring work topics to bed"
EDIT: In the mean time, Katou is not blind to iwaki thoughtfulness and he thinks: "What is making iwaki suffer, is it his job... or else?..."
But iwaki lost in his contemplation of katou thinks: "Since when has he become so mature (adult)... It's so vexing (regretable)"
And then they start making love and iwaki keeps thinking:
"I can't get over all this alone...!"
His thoughts then turn to how he loves katou, the slightest touch of his fingers, his lips, his every words, how katou fills his mind whenever they're apart and so on. And then it comes to: "Living by the image that Moshimune wants is a pain.
He relishes in dirtying me over and over.
I can't make use of this experience." <-- bad phrasing again, but something along the line "it's a no-no." Finally iwaki seems to reject M. views but I'm not sure (there's an expression with radish, that I don't get, but I thought it would be like "it's rubbish")
Iwaki keeps on reminiscing:
"[Your actor self and your usual self, which one will serve as pillar for your evolution?]
One or the other, they're the same for me. I can't separate them."
"I wouldn't be able to break up with Katou."
And so iwaki ends up with this terrible thought, rebels desperately, thinking "only thinking of it hurts."
EDIT: Katou unaware of the real reasons of iwaki's distress, asks him:"what's happening?! It's all right so calm down!"
And the conclusion of this outburst is Iwaki going back to work, thinking "I will freeze my heart (that is "I'll steel myself"), and that brings up a new expression on his face that M. loves BUT the crazy director thinks on: "More!"
*shudders*
EDIT: My conclusion is that iwaki hasn't told katou AND WHY, FOR GOD SAKE, WHY?!!!!!
Though, after reading the rough translation of ch44, if they have agreed not to talk business in bed/at home, in combination with the fact that iwaki feels confused over katou's growth and a fear of being left behind, it's only natural that iwaki won't say a thing. Somewhat, I hope that katou will react, but on the other hand, his hands are tied because intervening in iwaki's situation would only result in iwaki feeling more inferior compared to katou, so in the end, iwaki HAS to find a way out by himself... or ask katou for help (after all, they ARE a couple, DAMN!)
I won't post my rough translation because I picked up sentences here and there to give me pointers on the situation, so it's all patched together with many holes and even though I understand myself, I'm not sure I can be understood by native english speakers (i learned english at school).
Anyway, here's the general meaning:
Basically Moshimune says iwaki sucks at playing Suou, the psychopath character: "Didn't I tell you the chara called suou is obscene, cruel and sly?"
He goes on and on about the defaults of iwaki's performance and concludes with: "You ask yourself why I asked you not to go home.
All I wanted is for you to grow wild, to become dirty."
Iwaki protests: "If my performance is so wrong, then what should I say... But stop this! Can't you stop bringing up comments on what's private?!"
Then M. answers with irritating and challenging sentences about being an actor: "If you want to improve, you have to separate (from katou? from his old and usual self? Sorry there's a verb contraction I don't get at all and that M. uses frequently)
I thought you would get it but it seems you're not ready to move and it's a pity.
Private matters are important. Experiencing (with different things, circumstances) is what being an actor is about, don't you think?
Whatever the circumstances, to seek enrichment for your performance, isn't it the characteristic of actors?
Your actor self and your usual self, which one will serve as pillar for your evolution? (<-- sorry the phrasing is horrible, but I hope you'll get the meaning)"
Then Iwaki goes to the movie interview and meets with katou. He's lost in his thoughts: "[I won't lose to katou]" <--see a previous chapter
"This determination was fed by my pride as an actor.
But soon my heart became confused over my love for Katou battling with the extent of this determination.
My desire to live beside Katou used to be what drives me on.
So I chose a job to aim even higher...
This job is a challenge."
"[Between those two, where goes your preference?]" <--apparently something M. told him in a previous chapter, I assume it's a choice between remaining how he is and taking up the job/challenging himself as an actor.
"How ironical" <-- I think it's iwaki's thinking and not katou as you suggested.
Then Katou gets over iwaki in the elevator. He says he's finally back and will wait for iwaki in their bedroom (remember that iwaki lived separately from katou due to M. and katou chose to go to the US to work on his acting and thus left the house to iwaki). And Iwaki thinking: "Will you be sensitive enough to hear my faint SOS?"
Then it's the evening, iwaki comes back home, katou is waiting for him and grabs him, asking him to choose where they'd do *it*. And iwaki remembers katou (or so I think) saying: "We must not bring work topics to bed"
EDIT: In the mean time, Katou is not blind to iwaki thoughtfulness and he thinks: "What is making iwaki suffer, is it his job... or else?..."
But iwaki lost in his contemplation of katou thinks: "Since when has he become so mature (adult)... It's so vexing (regretable)"
And then they start making love and iwaki keeps thinking:
"I can't get over all this alone...!"
His thoughts then turn to how he loves katou, the slightest touch of his fingers, his lips, his every words, how katou fills his mind whenever they're apart and so on. And then it comes to: "Living by the image that Moshimune wants is a pain.
He relishes in dirtying me over and over.
I can't make use of this experience." <-- bad phrasing again, but something along the line "it's a no-no." Finally iwaki seems to reject M. views but I'm not sure (there's an expression with radish, that I don't get, but I thought it would be like "it's rubbish")
Iwaki keeps on reminiscing:
"[Your actor self and your usual self, which one will serve as pillar for your evolution?]
One or the other, they're the same for me. I can't separate them."
"I wouldn't be able to break up with Katou."
And so iwaki ends up with this terrible thought, rebels desperately, thinking "only thinking of it hurts."
EDIT: Katou unaware of the real reasons of iwaki's distress, asks him:"what's happening?! It's all right so calm down!"
And the conclusion of this outburst is Iwaki going back to work, thinking "I will freeze my heart (that is "I'll steel myself"), and that brings up a new expression on his face that M. loves BUT the crazy director thinks on: "More!"
*shudders*
EDIT: My conclusion is that iwaki hasn't told katou AND WHY, FOR GOD SAKE, WHY?!!!!!
Though, after reading the rough translation of ch44, if they have agreed not to talk business in bed/at home, in combination with the fact that iwaki feels confused over katou's growth and a fear of being left behind, it's only natural that iwaki won't say a thing. Somewhat, I hope that katou will react, but on the other hand, his hands are tied because intervening in iwaki's situation would only result in iwaki feeling more inferior compared to katou, so in the end, iwaki HAS to find a way out by himself... or ask katou for help (after all, they ARE a couple, DAMN!)