(no subject)
Tired of all of those surveys made up by high school kids?
'Have you ever kissed someone?'
'Missed someone?'
'Told someone you loved them?'
'Drank alcohol?'
Here are 50 questions for the people who are a little more "mature"...
1. What bill do you hate paying the most?
Credit card bills because being in debt makes me feel like I have already ruined my life forever.
2. Where was the last place you had a romantic time?
New York.
3. Do you regret losing your virginity to who you lost it to?
Hmmm... well I probably could have been much less cavalier about it, but I don't regret it. Out of all of my neuroses, I'm glad sex isn't one of them.
4. If you could go back and change one thing what would it be?
There are probably a lot of valid answers, but it's not something I think about. I am way more hung up about the future.
5. Name of your first grade teacher?
Mrs. Stocking. She taught us how to read with hand puppets who, over the course of the school year, went on a magic adventure through alphabet land. I still remember it fondly and I can read, so she must have been doing something right.
6. What do you really want to be doing right now?
I am a home now, so I am pretty okay sitting around doing jack shit.
7. What did you want to be when you were growing up?
A cartoonist.
8. How many colleges did you attend?
One.
9. Why did you choose the shirt that you have on right now?
It was in plain sight on the floor and relatively clean.
10. What are your thoughts on gas prices?
I don't own a car, so I don't care much. Take the bus or ride a bike or try walking.
11. If you could move anywhere and take someone with you who and where?
I would move to Tokyo with Erika, where we would either become a national craze or be deported. Probably both.
12. First thought when the alarm went off this morning?
FUCK FUCK FUCK
13. Last thought before going to sleep last night?
I finished The Wind Up Bird Chronicle for the third time right before I went to bed, so I was feeling kind of weird. Thanks a lot, Murakami.
14. Favorite style of underwear?
Black boxer briefs if you must know.
16. What errand/chore do you despise?
I hate all chores and will happily pay someone else to do them for me once I can afford it, but my least favorite is doing the laundry. I hate sharing a laundry room with the idiots in my building, it is really stressful. Seriously, I will feel like George fucking Jefferson when I finally live in an apartment with an in-unit washer and dryer.
WHERE IS FIFTEEN?!?!?!
17. If you didn't have to work, would you volunteer?
I would foster dogs, but if I didn't have to work I would assume I would be kind of rich so I would just adopt a ton of unwanted doggies and then form a canine circus that performs for old people and cancer kids or something.
18. Get up early or sleep in?
I love to sleep in, but I usually wake up early no matter what.
19. What is your favorite cartoon character?
Bobby Hill, or Ralph Wiggum, or the pinball in the 12345 pinball counting song from Sesame Street.
20. Favorite thing to do at night with a girl/guy?
Anal.
21. Have you found real love yet?
Even though it hasn't worked out, yes, I feel like I have.
22. When did you first start feeling old?
I don't feel old so much as I feel alienated, which has been happening most of my life.
23. Favorite 80s movie?
River's Edge
24. Your favorite lunch meat?
Turkey, although I am kind of into turky balogna right now.
25. What do you get every time you go into Sam's Club?
Persecuted.
26. Beach or lake?
Chicago has a man made beaches by the lake, so BOTH.
27. Do you think marriage is an outdated ritual?
No, I think people have outdated ideas about it though.
28. Do you own property?
No.
29. Favorite guilty pleasure?
Picking my nose.
30. Favorite movie you wouldn't want anyone to find out about?
I stand by my taste in movies.
31. What's your drink?
Green Tea or high alcohol content beer.
32. Cowboys or Indians?
First Nations
33. Cops or Robbers?
Robbers, except if we're talking about Robocop.
34. Who from high school would you like to run into?
Quan Do, the fobby Vietnamese kid who had an creepy, unironic obsession with Chuck Norris and Walker, Texas Ranger before it became a lame internet meme.
35. What radio station is your car radio tuned to right now?
I don't own a car, but my clock radio is tuned to 101.9 because I like waking up to their lame ass morning show, Eric and Kathy. They are so god damn stupid, it ensures I get out of bed and turn it off.
36. Long and fast or short and slow?
?
38. Worst relationship mistake that you wish you could take back?
Not knowing when to cut my losses and end things for good.
39. Do you like the person who sits directly next to you at work?
She is okay. I am kind of in charge of her and get to boss her around, which is position I never thought I would be in. I hate telling people what to do, but she is pretty good at doing things before I think to ask about them.
40. What famous person would you like to have dinner with?
Ian Curtis, so I could get him drunk and make out with him.
41. Indoors or Outdoors?
Outdoors.
42. Have you ever crashed your vehicle?
I crashed my jeep into a tree and a wall in the same day. There is a reason I hate driving.
43. Have you ever had to use a fire extinguisher for its intended purpose?
No, although I have always wanted to spray someone with one.
44. Last book you read for real?
The Wind Up Bird Chronicle for the third or fourth time.
45. Do you have a teddy bear?
Yes. His head is kind of falling off, but I love him still! T_T
46. Have you ever peed in public?
Oh yes, it is one of my favorite past times. I have a small bladder and when I get drunk it is often the only solution.
47. Somewhere in California you've never been and would like to go?
The Museum of Jurassic Technology
48. Do you go to church?
Hell no.
49. At this point in your life would you rather start a new career or a new relationship?
Career, I gotta make that paper.
50. Open or closed marriage?
Closed. Open marriages seem like a bad idea no matter what, and I am insanely jealous anyway. I would totally kill my spouse and whoever they fucked around with. I believe in suffering together for eternity!
'Have you ever kissed someone?'
'Missed someone?'
'Told someone you loved them?'
'Drank alcohol?'
Here are 50 questions for the people who are a little more "mature"...
1. What bill do you hate paying the most?
Credit card bills because being in debt makes me feel like I have already ruined my life forever.
2. Where was the last place you had a romantic time?
New York.
3. Do you regret losing your virginity to who you lost it to?
Hmmm... well I probably could have been much less cavalier about it, but I don't regret it. Out of all of my neuroses, I'm glad sex isn't one of them.
4. If you could go back and change one thing what would it be?
There are probably a lot of valid answers, but it's not something I think about. I am way more hung up about the future.
5. Name of your first grade teacher?
Mrs. Stocking. She taught us how to read with hand puppets who, over the course of the school year, went on a magic adventure through alphabet land. I still remember it fondly and I can read, so she must have been doing something right.
6. What do you really want to be doing right now?
I am a home now, so I am pretty okay sitting around doing jack shit.
7. What did you want to be when you were growing up?
A cartoonist.
8. How many colleges did you attend?
One.
9. Why did you choose the shirt that you have on right now?
It was in plain sight on the floor and relatively clean.
10. What are your thoughts on gas prices?
I don't own a car, so I don't care much. Take the bus or ride a bike or try walking.
11. If you could move anywhere and take someone with you who and where?
I would move to Tokyo with Erika, where we would either become a national craze or be deported. Probably both.
12. First thought when the alarm went off this morning?
FUCK FUCK FUCK
13. Last thought before going to sleep last night?
I finished The Wind Up Bird Chronicle for the third time right before I went to bed, so I was feeling kind of weird. Thanks a lot, Murakami.
14. Favorite style of underwear?
Black boxer briefs if you must know.
16. What errand/chore do you despise?
I hate all chores and will happily pay someone else to do them for me once I can afford it, but my least favorite is doing the laundry. I hate sharing a laundry room with the idiots in my building, it is really stressful. Seriously, I will feel like George fucking Jefferson when I finally live in an apartment with an in-unit washer and dryer.
WHERE IS FIFTEEN?!?!?!
17. If you didn't have to work, would you volunteer?
I would foster dogs, but if I didn't have to work I would assume I would be kind of rich so I would just adopt a ton of unwanted doggies and then form a canine circus that performs for old people and cancer kids or something.
18. Get up early or sleep in?
I love to sleep in, but I usually wake up early no matter what.
19. What is your favorite cartoon character?
Bobby Hill, or Ralph Wiggum, or the pinball in the 12345 pinball counting song from Sesame Street.
20. Favorite thing to do at night with a girl/guy?
Anal.
21. Have you found real love yet?
Even though it hasn't worked out, yes, I feel like I have.
22. When did you first start feeling old?
I don't feel old so much as I feel alienated, which has been happening most of my life.
23. Favorite 80s movie?
River's Edge
24. Your favorite lunch meat?
Turkey, although I am kind of into turky balogna right now.
25. What do you get every time you go into Sam's Club?
Persecuted.
26. Beach or lake?
Chicago has a man made beaches by the lake, so BOTH.
27. Do you think marriage is an outdated ritual?
No, I think people have outdated ideas about it though.
28. Do you own property?
No.
29. Favorite guilty pleasure?
Picking my nose.
30. Favorite movie you wouldn't want anyone to find out about?
I stand by my taste in movies.
31. What's your drink?
Green Tea or high alcohol content beer.
32. Cowboys or Indians?
First Nations
33. Cops or Robbers?
Robbers, except if we're talking about Robocop.
34. Who from high school would you like to run into?
Quan Do, the fobby Vietnamese kid who had an creepy, unironic obsession with Chuck Norris and Walker, Texas Ranger before it became a lame internet meme.
35. What radio station is your car radio tuned to right now?
I don't own a car, but my clock radio is tuned to 101.9 because I like waking up to their lame ass morning show, Eric and Kathy. They are so god damn stupid, it ensures I get out of bed and turn it off.
36. Long and fast or short and slow?
?
38. Worst relationship mistake that you wish you could take back?
Not knowing when to cut my losses and end things for good.
39. Do you like the person who sits directly next to you at work?
She is okay. I am kind of in charge of her and get to boss her around, which is position I never thought I would be in. I hate telling people what to do, but she is pretty good at doing things before I think to ask about them.
40. What famous person would you like to have dinner with?
Ian Curtis, so I could get him drunk and make out with him.
41. Indoors or Outdoors?
Outdoors.
42. Have you ever crashed your vehicle?
I crashed my jeep into a tree and a wall in the same day. There is a reason I hate driving.
43. Have you ever had to use a fire extinguisher for its intended purpose?
No, although I have always wanted to spray someone with one.
44. Last book you read for real?
The Wind Up Bird Chronicle for the third or fourth time.
45. Do you have a teddy bear?
Yes. His head is kind of falling off, but I love him still! T_T
46. Have you ever peed in public?
Oh yes, it is one of my favorite past times. I have a small bladder and when I get drunk it is often the only solution.
47. Somewhere in California you've never been and would like to go?
The Museum of Jurassic Technology
48. Do you go to church?
Hell no.
49. At this point in your life would you rather start a new career or a new relationship?
Career, I gotta make that paper.
50. Open or closed marriage?
Closed. Open marriages seem like a bad idea no matter what, and I am insanely jealous anyway. I would totally kill my spouse and whoever they fucked around with. I believe in suffering together for eternity!