I should buy a boat!
I will admit that I don’t trust a lot of people. Even towards the friends I’ve been friends with since grade school, I have some reservations. Nothing personal. I rarely give up my whole heart to people. A lot of my friends have gone through the battles with me. Everything I give is earned. Danielle is not like that at all and we had this great discussion about it on Saturday on our way out. I don’t initially trust people; she does. She sees the good in everyone from day one. I don’t start out hating anyone but I watch them. I give myself time before I peg them for something and even then, there is always room for change. Even my best friend might only get 98% of me. Danielle without a doubt has 100% because I love her more than air and I know without a doubt that I can trust her with anything and everything. The girl is a pure soul who quite honestly cannot do any wrong intentionally. So, when my friends verbally attack her and verbally slap her in the face, you hear crickets because no one in their right mind could be so harsh to someone who quite honestly speaks no ill-will towards anyone.. But Bill is right…it’s a struggle to have best friends because anyone can be friends. Just depends on how hard you work at it to make it worth it.
As time is wearing on, I know my heart will get broken if I let it. I just can’t stop my mind from pushing. Part of me wants to just break it off and walk away. The other part thinks I should see how far I can handle it and to see how far it will go. You can’t live in your own little world forever. I guess we’ll see the verdict next Thursday after a fresh set of eyes sees the situations. I hope it works in my favor. We shall just have to wait and see how it all plays out.
I am eager for the weekend. While I will honestly miss my Friday night boys, I look forward to seeing them right before Christmas. I am intrigued by this Friday night’s upcoming events. Part of me fears a night out with Flora, Rebecca and Rebecca’s past. I’ve heard stories and I keep recalling the first night it was just Rebecca, Mary and I. But that was back in September…I have definitely changed since then. I have not filled Mary’s shoes but I have definitely taken a more active role. I cannot help but smile.
Today is my mom’s birthday. I’ve received texts today from very important people in my life. Little things have happened today that clearly mark her presence. This warms my heart and maybe tugs a threat of a tear. But life changes for a reason. And some very amazing things happened.
((did I just hear Topper? He doesn't work here!))