I'm Gonna Have 3 Kids and Retire by 60!
I’m exceptionally grateful for my low-key, healthy, employed and housed existence these days but I’m acutely aware that it doesn’t guarantee my course through life. I’ve seen far too many people hit by curve balls.
Imagine you’re a person who has been blessed to live their first 20 or so years in a comfortable, and relatively supportive and functional environment. Imagine in that 20 years you’ve lost a beloved family dog and then your grandfather. Imagine you’ve had your heart broken by your high school sweetheart when he or she dumped you half way through your freshman year at college. Finally, imagine that at 20-something years old, you were downsized out of a job and you and your roommates celebrated by throwing a layoff party. If this is you, you will approach your 30’s thinking you’ve seen grief and trials.
This is a world similar to what my friends and I grew up in. Our parents raised us while working their jobs with the same company for 25+ years. But all of us, children and parents alike, have learned that life isn’t scripted. Tragedy follows no rules.
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30 years. 30 years of hard work, sacrifices, lessons learned. You’re on top of the world. Best job you’ve ever had. Young, growing family. Invincible. Until in one moment your life is turned upside down. Inoperable brain tumor. Faced to tie up loose ends and prepare your children to grow up without you. Your life plan always included YOU.
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50 years. 50 years of hard work, sacrifices, lessons taught and learned. In the last two years you’ve graciously taken a pay cut and loss of benefits and scaled back on hours in order to keep your job-only to lose it anyway. Now you’ve spent your savings, cashed in your 401K. Your life plan didn’t include having to start over again only 15 to 20 years from retirement.
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70 years. 70 years of hard work, sacrifices, lessons taught and learned. Your life plan at 70 didn’t include checking the garage for intruders or defending your loved one from other imagined threats. Love and commitment can lead you down paths you would never chose for yourself or your poor, suffering loved one.
The life plan that you’ve imagined for yourself or your family will need constant editing. A dream may need to be scratched out and replaced with a solution to an unimagined problem. Hard work may not end when you expect and hope for it to. And worst of all, you may need to leave your own script unfinished.
In the extreme case, you hope you’ve made a difference and left a lasting impression so that after you are gone you will continue to touch lives. Or maybe you’ll want someone to erect a bronze statue in your image extolling your contributions and greatness. Perhaps you like the idea of a time capsule that will sit quietly underground for 50 years and be discovered by a whole new age of people to discover what you have to share.
But we are living in the here and now. This time of year it is especially hard to be a person living a life they hadn’t planned. If you are currently blessed with a planned and expected life, reach out to someone who might feel overwhelmed by change. Cook them a meal, take them a gift card, or show up on their doorstep with a dozen carolers. Do something that takes them out of their drudgery and give them a moment of respite. A small action from you may make your biggest impact in life. And you may never even know it.
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