Blast from the Past
Somehow, at some point today, 60 hour TiVo gets mentioned. I cannot recall the context of its appearance in the conversation but it makes its presence known. 60 hour TiVo has a significant meaning in my life and words cannot express how I truly feel about 60 hour TiVo.
Once 60 hour TiVo is out there for the taking, I'm suddenly sucked back in time, back to when I did not have this particular BLOG to write in, back when I used AIM and had a profile that linked to an AOL-run journal. I maybe write in this journal a total of six times during my senior year at CU. I remember my first entry has a picture of a pumpkin scarecrow mooning passersby from someone's front lawn. Another entry features Christine and my house pet, George, a tiny field mouse that finds its way into our living room one afternoon. Another entry describes my dilemma of going to Kim's Christmas party or with Pher on an excursion to some unmarked ski terrain in Durango. But there is one entry that starts it all. The entry that helps mold and shape my writer's "voice" and create a game I like to play with my family. The game of How many times can I repeat the same thing until someone notices and completely loses it?.
60 hour TiVo becomes the first overused phrase in my repetitive word game. The first person to expereince the word play?
Kim.
Needless to say, Kim is not very fond of the phrase 60 hour TiVo.
So I try to find this journal so I can share the 60 hour TiVo entry and it has proven absolutely impossible. First of all, it takes me a long time to finally find the member directory on AOL. I can no longer find my profile because it sends me to Bebo where current profiles are stored. None of my old links are visible along with the few pictures I had in there from my sorority that Mai had posted for me back in 2003. So then I change tactics setting to work in Google, typing in “Kate Raab” with random words after the quotations. I figure maybe I can locate the old CU Women's Ice Hockey website Christine and I fashion for the team which has the link to the journal. So I try the word hockey and I get a hit! But not quite the hit I'm looking for though.
It actually turns out to be for an article that was in the Farmingdale Observer in January. I had no idea our town even had a paper. And why am I not notified that I am in this paper? Then I read the article and understand why I wouldn't even want to be notified.
We all know I run races. We all see the pictures on Facebook. We all know in the past two years I have won three awards. We all know I'm very elusive about telling you what award I win. The reason is I do not usually run in an age category nor am I the first female to ever finish. I run in an embarrassing category. A category I have a chance of placing in since it's very hard to place with girls my age because they are in a lot better shape than me.
I run in the (what I like to call because I tend to be self-deprecating) Fat Girl category. I do not mean to offend those other women who are also in this category that are in shape and are heavier because they are so muscular and athletic. I apologize if this is you but I'm in this division not because I’m so muscular and athletic but because I'm a little too lenient with my diet. Too lenient that a diet doesn't even exist and I'm only in this category because I don't know when to put the fork down (and as dad just said, "unless it's going back down into a piece of pie"). Not only do I run in this division but it's split into two different weight classes with me being in the second heavier weight class. I like that they call this Fat Girl category something nice and feminine: Athena. I love the term. I know what this term means. My fellow runners know this term too. My friends? Don't. For two years I fool everyone into thinking I'm good in this category and that it's an honor to win but really what it boils down to is that I receive three awards for running faster than other overweight people like myself.
The article outs me, lets all of Farmingdale know how much I weigh, and blows my cover of everyone thinking I'm such an awesome runner. It states:
Two determined Farmingdale ladies did especially well in the Athena Weight Division. Colleen Gardner, a 32-year-old who took first place honors in the Athena 160-pound plus weight division, finished with a time of 26 minutes, 22 seconds, and 27-year-old Kate Raab scored third in that same division with a time of 28:58.
What they fail to mention is that I am third out of twenty five which is the highest amount of women I have ever run against. They also forget to say most of us are running in uncomfortable Santa costumes. They also tell you it smells like snow rather than it's "butt-cold out" and I can no longer feel my legs in mile two and I have a trail of snot coating my right glove and left t-shirt sleeve. My time is not a PR and I did not post it on Facebook because all this information is embarrassing.
So now my secret's out. I'm an overweight slow runner that supposedly has inspired some friends to run and now knowing the truth will probably feel duped and a little put off. I'm not elite, I will never get back to running 6 to 7 minute miles like I used to, I will never get out of the Athena Division, and I'm also on my way to a second stress facture because I'm just two damn heavy to run.
Geez, this is all rather unpleasant isn’t it? I never expected to find out that I am in a newspaper clipping. All I really wanted to do this afternoon was tell you about the 60 hour TiVo...
Once 60 hour TiVo is out there for the taking, I'm suddenly sucked back in time, back to when I did not have this particular BLOG to write in, back when I used AIM and had a profile that linked to an AOL-run journal. I maybe write in this journal a total of six times during my senior year at CU. I remember my first entry has a picture of a pumpkin scarecrow mooning passersby from someone's front lawn. Another entry features Christine and my house pet, George, a tiny field mouse that finds its way into our living room one afternoon. Another entry describes my dilemma of going to Kim's Christmas party or with Pher on an excursion to some unmarked ski terrain in Durango. But there is one entry that starts it all. The entry that helps mold and shape my writer's "voice" and create a game I like to play with my family. The game of How many times can I repeat the same thing until someone notices and completely loses it?.
60 hour TiVo becomes the first overused phrase in my repetitive word game. The first person to expereince the word play?
Kim.
Needless to say, Kim is not very fond of the phrase 60 hour TiVo.
So I try to find this journal so I can share the 60 hour TiVo entry and it has proven absolutely impossible. First of all, it takes me a long time to finally find the member directory on AOL. I can no longer find my profile because it sends me to Bebo where current profiles are stored. None of my old links are visible along with the few pictures I had in there from my sorority that Mai had posted for me back in 2003. So then I change tactics setting to work in Google, typing in “Kate Raab” with random words after the quotations. I figure maybe I can locate the old CU Women's Ice Hockey website Christine and I fashion for the team which has the link to the journal. So I try the word hockey and I get a hit! But not quite the hit I'm looking for though.
It actually turns out to be for an article that was in the Farmingdale Observer in January. I had no idea our town even had a paper. And why am I not notified that I am in this paper? Then I read the article and understand why I wouldn't even want to be notified.
We all know I run races. We all see the pictures on Facebook. We all know in the past two years I have won three awards. We all know I'm very elusive about telling you what award I win. The reason is I do not usually run in an age category nor am I the first female to ever finish. I run in an embarrassing category. A category I have a chance of placing in since it's very hard to place with girls my age because they are in a lot better shape than me.
I run in the (what I like to call because I tend to be self-deprecating) Fat Girl category. I do not mean to offend those other women who are also in this category that are in shape and are heavier because they are so muscular and athletic. I apologize if this is you but I'm in this division not because I’m so muscular and athletic but because I'm a little too lenient with my diet. Too lenient that a diet doesn't even exist and I'm only in this category because I don't know when to put the fork down (and as dad just said, "unless it's going back down into a piece of pie"). Not only do I run in this division but it's split into two different weight classes with me being in the second heavier weight class. I like that they call this Fat Girl category something nice and feminine: Athena. I love the term. I know what this term means. My fellow runners know this term too. My friends? Don't. For two years I fool everyone into thinking I'm good in this category and that it's an honor to win but really what it boils down to is that I receive three awards for running faster than other overweight people like myself.
The article outs me, lets all of Farmingdale know how much I weigh, and blows my cover of everyone thinking I'm such an awesome runner. It states:
Two determined Farmingdale ladies did especially well in the Athena Weight Division. Colleen Gardner, a 32-year-old who took first place honors in the Athena 160-pound plus weight division, finished with a time of 26 minutes, 22 seconds, and 27-year-old Kate Raab scored third in that same division with a time of 28:58.
What they fail to mention is that I am third out of twenty five which is the highest amount of women I have ever run against. They also forget to say most of us are running in uncomfortable Santa costumes. They also tell you it smells like snow rather than it's "butt-cold out" and I can no longer feel my legs in mile two and I have a trail of snot coating my right glove and left t-shirt sleeve. My time is not a PR and I did not post it on Facebook because all this information is embarrassing.
So now my secret's out. I'm an overweight slow runner that supposedly has inspired some friends to run and now knowing the truth will probably feel duped and a little put off. I'm not elite, I will never get back to running 6 to 7 minute miles like I used to, I will never get out of the Athena Division, and I'm also on my way to a second stress facture because I'm just two damn heavy to run.
Geez, this is all rather unpleasant isn’t it? I never expected to find out that I am in a newspaper clipping. All I really wanted to do this afternoon was tell you about the 60 hour TiVo...