The Awesome Coffee Table Adventure
I would like to say, "as most of you know..." but I can't because most of you don't know. You all have no idea. I'm not sure why I never told you but I just didn't so I'm telling you now.
We're moving out of Lord Land's house.
This must come as a complete shock to you but it's happening and you really need to get over it. We're moving up in the world to an actual apartment with a real living room and no green carpeting and especially no three year old terror waking me up every weekend at 7.
Now since we will have a grown-up place we'll need grown-up furniture, not this mishmash of college dorm crap we've got goin' on in these digs. We have even made a list of all the necessary things we will need to have in this grown-up apartment and one of the new editions to our family will be a coffee table. Yeah, how pathetic is that? I even had coffee tables in college but never one as an adult. Go figure.
Today I go coffee table shopping online in lieu of surfing Facebook (since bossdad as blocked it at the Surge) and I find some interesting... finds. There's one in particular from Peter Andrews that I desire so much so that I almost buy it without running it by Hubs. When I get home I'm bursting with coffee table news and excitedly squeal, "Steve! I have found the coolest coffee table! It's shaped like a treasure chest!"
Because dammit, pirates are cool.
Steve likes it but not to be outdone, pulls up another tab and searches Google for "awesome coffee tables" and of course Steve finds a better one. Of course he does. And not only does Steve find a better one, he finds THE MOST AWESOMEST COFFEE TABLE IN THE WORLD!!
I mean, how on earth can pirate's booty compare to THAT?!
When I click on the link to check out this magnificent piece of wood I realize I'm so 2000 and late because this guy's journal entry dates back to a time when I had thirty pounds less of flesh on my body. This genius gamer, Kyle Downes, made the ultimate coffee table that you can only dream of and salivate over. Not only can you store a buttload of stuff inside it you can also use it to play your Nintendo video games! A GIANT CONTROLLER! How f-ing cool is that?!
Now I want one but they're not for sale. I also wonder if I can make my own because after seeing that there is no way I can buy a treasure chest and be satisfied. And to make matters even worse, Steve clicks on another awesome coffee table:
This awesome monstrosity that would look great in our new spacious living room is designed by Stephane Perruchon who you know saw Downes’ Nintendo controller idea and stole it and ran with it and my message to Downes is, "Dude! You can be a freakin' millionaire because you can actually use yours! Do it, son!" But what really pisses me off is the fact you cannot yet purchase this awesomeness and my thoughts are, “then why tell me about this if I can’t buy it? What the hell is the point of dangling this in front of me and not delivering?” Though having the PS3 controller coffee table would be unbelievably terrific and I would not mind forking over some dough (eventually) to let it clutter up my house.
And then we come across this fine $6,600 interactive gaming coffee table from Surface Tension:
And does it do $6,600 worth of awesome stuff? As long as you find 29 classic Taito Legends games with the ability to add more- complete with buttons and joysticks as well as internet access, iPod compatibility, movie queues, and happy endings really freaking awesome...then yes. Yes it does.
We finally conclude our search, ending on the most feasible option (after the dull treasure chest of course) but then have to quickly rule it out considering we have some "bumbley" friends that will most likely slam into the handles of our foosball coffee table and spill some kind of dark drink on the freshly cleaned carpet.
So I have decided that if I cannot own some kind of gaming coffee table then I do not want one at all. As Steve and I drive to get some grub after this tiring ordeal, I really think about my coffee table-less life and realize I have missed so many creative opportunities. I just might have to take a leave of absence from the Surge in order to build my dream coffee table...though if anyone remembers my 7th grade go at constructing a stable popsicle bridge then you know exactly how this coffee table is turning out.
We're moving out of Lord Land's house.
This must come as a complete shock to you but it's happening and you really need to get over it. We're moving up in the world to an actual apartment with a real living room and no green carpeting and especially no three year old terror waking me up every weekend at 7.
Now since we will have a grown-up place we'll need grown-up furniture, not this mishmash of college dorm crap we've got goin' on in these digs. We have even made a list of all the necessary things we will need to have in this grown-up apartment and one of the new editions to our family will be a coffee table. Yeah, how pathetic is that? I even had coffee tables in college but never one as an adult. Go figure.
Today I go coffee table shopping online in lieu of surfing Facebook (since bossdad as blocked it at the Surge) and I find some interesting... finds. There's one in particular from Peter Andrews that I desire so much so that I almost buy it without running it by Hubs. When I get home I'm bursting with coffee table news and excitedly squeal, "Steve! I have found the coolest coffee table! It's shaped like a treasure chest!"
Because dammit, pirates are cool.
Steve likes it but not to be outdone, pulls up another tab and searches Google for "awesome coffee tables" and of course Steve finds a better one. Of course he does. And not only does Steve find a better one, he finds THE MOST AWESOMEST COFFEE TABLE IN THE WORLD!!
I mean, how on earth can pirate's booty compare to THAT?!
When I click on the link to check out this magnificent piece of wood I realize I'm so 2000 and late because this guy's journal entry dates back to a time when I had thirty pounds less of flesh on my body. This genius gamer, Kyle Downes, made the ultimate coffee table that you can only dream of and salivate over. Not only can you store a buttload of stuff inside it you can also use it to play your Nintendo video games! A GIANT CONTROLLER! How f-ing cool is that?!
Now I want one but they're not for sale. I also wonder if I can make my own because after seeing that there is no way I can buy a treasure chest and be satisfied. And to make matters even worse, Steve clicks on another awesome coffee table:
This awesome monstrosity that would look great in our new spacious living room is designed by Stephane Perruchon who you know saw Downes’ Nintendo controller idea and stole it and ran with it and my message to Downes is, "Dude! You can be a freakin' millionaire because you can actually use yours! Do it, son!" But what really pisses me off is the fact you cannot yet purchase this awesomeness and my thoughts are, “then why tell me about this if I can’t buy it? What the hell is the point of dangling this in front of me and not delivering?” Though having the PS3 controller coffee table would be unbelievably terrific and I would not mind forking over some dough (eventually) to let it clutter up my house.
And then we come across this fine $6,600 interactive gaming coffee table from Surface Tension:
And does it do $6,600 worth of awesome stuff? As long as you find 29 classic Taito Legends games with the ability to add more- complete with buttons and joysticks as well as internet access, iPod compatibility, movie queues, and happy endings really freaking awesome...then yes. Yes it does.
We finally conclude our search, ending on the most feasible option (after the dull treasure chest of course) but then have to quickly rule it out considering we have some "bumbley" friends that will most likely slam into the handles of our foosball coffee table and spill some kind of dark drink on the freshly cleaned carpet.
So I have decided that if I cannot own some kind of gaming coffee table then I do not want one at all. As Steve and I drive to get some grub after this tiring ordeal, I really think about my coffee table-less life and realize I have missed so many creative opportunities. I just might have to take a leave of absence from the Surge in order to build my dream coffee table...though if anyone remembers my 7th grade go at constructing a stable popsicle bridge then you know exactly how this coffee table is turning out.