Curiouser and curiouser
I come in to work today (Monday being my day off since I usually work on Sundays - when I am not barfing on the side of a freeway) and wade through my messages, which I have let pile up because I am so apathetic. The last message is from my boss, saying we needed to get together for an evaluation...
Essentially I have a six month "trial period" that means I can get the can, without stating cause, at any point during that time, and would have no recourse. Of course, on the other hand, I could have walked out the door at any point without notice. Soooo...I have known this was coming, he mentioned something about it before Easter, and now he wanted to set something up. Luckily, legitimate work kept me busy all afternoon, and I was dealing with the last of the crackpots on the phone when he shows up at my office door.
First, you must understand that in six months working here, I have only seen him on this floor twice - and everyone else up here treated it like a loch ness monster sighting. He comes in, takes a seat and tells me that he is very, very satisfied with my performance, and is glad to have hired me.
I suppose the shock on my face was only exceeded by the shock on his own when I told him that I have been miserable since day one! An odd way to begin a meeting, I must admit. Overall, I am glad that it is out of the way, if I end up staying here, I feel a bit better knowing that I am on solid footing. I suppose that I have been so disappointed in myself, that I couldn't imagine anyone else being pleased either.
The tough situation is that I like my boss as a person, but I am not crazy about him as a boss. However, he did say somethings today that helped me realize that he understood more of what I go through on a daily basis than I would have ever given him credit for. He also, essentially, promised to always have my back. What that means to me is that, if someone comes to him to bitch about me, his first reaction won't be to agree with the person about what a rotten bastard I am.
I still have a few feelers out there for new jobs, but I don't feel so desperate to flee as I did this morning.
I watched bits and bobs of Billy Elliott this AM on dvd - anytime you need a good cry...
I am an absolute sucker for the whole "Triumph of the Spirit in the Face of Adversity" kind of film - and B.E. fills that bill. Maybe I cried because I envied someone having a dream - perhaps it was simply because I wished I had my very own - above the age of consent - Jamie Bell. Could be seeing Julie Walters, and thinking of Molly Weasley, and envisioning the first sight of Ron in the film - which always makes me teary.
OK - to clear the record - my crying at movies all the damn time is not an opthamalogic condition. I am just a big, dumb, sap. I cry at anything - especially Christmas.
I cry at the end of PeeWee's Christmas Special when he makes a spare rooom out of the fruitcakes people have been giving him, and comes to learnt hat Christmas is about sharing. I cry at the end of "A Very Brady Christmas" when Mike is caught in the collapsed building when he goes in to save a worker, and Carol stands outside and sings "O HOly Night" until Mike comes out safely. I cried at the Jim Carrey version of the Grinch because i had spent $7 to see it!
So, there you have it. Depending on my mood, I will cry over anything. Hmm...seem to be running a bit high on estrogen today...
*ducks*
Essentially I have a six month "trial period" that means I can get the can, without stating cause, at any point during that time, and would have no recourse. Of course, on the other hand, I could have walked out the door at any point without notice. Soooo...I have known this was coming, he mentioned something about it before Easter, and now he wanted to set something up. Luckily, legitimate work kept me busy all afternoon, and I was dealing with the last of the crackpots on the phone when he shows up at my office door.
First, you must understand that in six months working here, I have only seen him on this floor twice - and everyone else up here treated it like a loch ness monster sighting. He comes in, takes a seat and tells me that he is very, very satisfied with my performance, and is glad to have hired me.
I suppose the shock on my face was only exceeded by the shock on his own when I told him that I have been miserable since day one! An odd way to begin a meeting, I must admit. Overall, I am glad that it is out of the way, if I end up staying here, I feel a bit better knowing that I am on solid footing. I suppose that I have been so disappointed in myself, that I couldn't imagine anyone else being pleased either.
The tough situation is that I like my boss as a person, but I am not crazy about him as a boss. However, he did say somethings today that helped me realize that he understood more of what I go through on a daily basis than I would have ever given him credit for. He also, essentially, promised to always have my back. What that means to me is that, if someone comes to him to bitch about me, his first reaction won't be to agree with the person about what a rotten bastard I am.
I still have a few feelers out there for new jobs, but I don't feel so desperate to flee as I did this morning.
I watched bits and bobs of Billy Elliott this AM on dvd - anytime you need a good cry...
I am an absolute sucker for the whole "Triumph of the Spirit in the Face of Adversity" kind of film - and B.E. fills that bill. Maybe I cried because I envied someone having a dream - perhaps it was simply because I wished I had my very own - above the age of consent - Jamie Bell. Could be seeing Julie Walters, and thinking of Molly Weasley, and envisioning the first sight of Ron in the film - which always makes me teary.
OK - to clear the record - my crying at movies all the damn time is not an opthamalogic condition. I am just a big, dumb, sap. I cry at anything - especially Christmas.
I cry at the end of PeeWee's Christmas Special when he makes a spare rooom out of the fruitcakes people have been giving him, and comes to learnt hat Christmas is about sharing. I cry at the end of "A Very Brady Christmas" when Mike is caught in the collapsed building when he goes in to save a worker, and Carol stands outside and sings "O HOly Night" until Mike comes out safely. I cried at the Jim Carrey version of the Grinch because i had spent $7 to see it!
So, there you have it. Depending on my mood, I will cry over anything. Hmm...seem to be running a bit high on estrogen today...
*ducks*