(no subject)
Author: claudia_lexan
Fandom: Supernatural
Word Count: 1,428
Rating: PG-13
Notes: Thank you to my beta Mago186.
Notes: Crossver with the movie junior
Notes: This is set around the time that Sam decided that Stanford was a good thing.
Disclaimer: These are not characters of my own creation
Summary: After a curse and a night of sex with his brother Dean falls pregnant. Only Sam doesn't remember that night or the curse
part 1 part 2 part 3 part 4 part 5 part 6 part 7 A part 7 B part 8 part 9 part 10
Once Sam was safely inside the motel room, Dean stepped around him and shut the door. He had so many questions for Sam, but they would have to wait. He wasn’t going to open himself up to Sam…not when the last seven months had seen no contact between them. He wasn’t going to be the one to start a conversation. For once, Sam would have to take that first step.
“You look terrible. When did you last sleep?” Sam asked. He wanted to ask Dean what was wrong. He desperately wanted to show his brother how concerned he was, but as usual, he came across as an uncaring asshole.
“Why are you here Sam?” Dean asked.
“Can’t I visit my own brother?” Sam asked. Looking at Dean, he couldn’t forget the dreams that had given him back some of his most precious memories. He wanted to have Dean back in his life again.
Dean simply raised one eyebrow and looked at Sam with disappointment in his eyes. “When will you learn that I always know when you are lying to me?”
“I’m telling you the truth. I came all the way from Stanford to see you,” Sam said.
“I know I never went to college, but do I strike you as being stupid? You always get these small little tics when you lie to me. Tell me why Caleb isn’t here,” the older man demanded as he sat down on the edge of the bed. His unborn son, as if sensing the tension in the room, had decided to voice his own discomfort by kicking him.
Sam knew he had to tell the truth, but how could he explain his dreams that turned out to be memories? He at least had to try. “I had these dreams over a course of six days. Each dream was a progression of the last one. Those dreams turned out to be my lost memories.”
“Memories?” Dean prompted, even though he knew the answer. He had been secretly hoping for this day. Now that it had finally happened, he couldn’t help but wonder what was going to take it all away.
“In the first dream, I said just two words. Those words were ‘me too.’ I know I was letting you know I felt the same. In the second dream, we were naked in bed together and I was making these silly patterns on your arm. The third dream was more erotic…we were making love. Then it all went wrong and the dreams became nightmares,” Sam said.
Dean knew that Sam’s dreams showed just a small part of the relationship they had shared as lovers. He placed a hand on his bump and smiled slightly when he felt his son kick that exact spot. “How can you be so sure those dreams are memories?”
“I just knew they were memories. Before I had these dreams, it was as if a piece of me was missing.”
“That’s really sweet Sam, but what do you expect this little visit of yours to achieve?”
“I want to feel that way again. I want our relationship back,” Sam informed.
Memories of a curse that was still very much in place filtered though his mind. He could never be happy with Sam. He couldn’t risk his heart again. He had to get rid of his brother. He had to push the younger man away before his heart was broken again. “It’s been seven months Sam and things have changed.”
“Do you still love me?” Sam asked.
“I never stopped,” Dean said, inwardly cringing at the way his words sounded like a line out of a chick flick film. He could only blame his pregnancy hormones for making him more emotional than usual.
“Give our relationship one more chance. I promise you things will be different this time.”
Dean wanted to laugh at Sam’s naivety, but he was too damn tired. He needed Sam to understand why a relationship between them could never work. “Tell me about your last dream.”
Trusting Dean’s motive for asking such a question he said, “I was fighting with this woman when she spoke to me, but I didn’t hear the words. I can remember feeling as if she took something from me.”
Dean had two choices. He could tell Sam what the woman had said or he could lie. He chose to tell Sam the truth. “That woman was a demon. She put a curse on us…one that is designed for pain. She took all of your memories of our relationship and left me with a gift.”
“Gift?” Sam asked as he sat down on the bed next to Dean.
“Put your hand on my belly.”
Swallowing the sarcastic comment about Dean being overweight and out of shape, he put his hand on Dean’s rounded belly. For a few minutes, there was nothing but silence in the motel room. Then he felt something kick against his hand. He was about to ask Dean what the fuck it was when it happened again.
“What was that?” Sam asked silently praying to all the deities he knew that Dean wasn’t infected with something demonic.
“It’s my baby. I’m pregnant,” Dean admitted.
Instantly taking his hand of the bump Sam opened his mouth and shut it again. How could he respond to Dean’s casual announcement of being pregnant without sounding like a bastard? He could only respond with something incredibly obvious and stupid. “How did it happen?”
“Sam I gave you the sex talk when you were ten. Do I really have to give you that talk again?” Dean asked.
“You don’t have the parts Dean so how can you be pregnant?”
“The gift the demon gave me was our baby. Before you start with the exorcism ritual, the baby is human. The demon just gave me the ability to have our baby,” Dean said.
“It just doesn’t make sense. Why would a demon give you a gift like that? A baby is an innocent soul. Why would a demon willing help in the creation of a new life?” Sam asked.
“It’s all about the pain. You were never meant to get your memories back. I was meant to go though this pregnancy alone. Only one of us is meant to be happy with this curse,” Dean said.
“None of that explains why a demon gave you this ability. There has to be another reason. It can’t all be down to a curse.”
“Why can’t you just accept I’m pregnant? Why are you trying to find a reason to deny this? It’s almost as if you want enough justification to cut the baby out of me,” Dean said, hurt.
Both equal parts horrified and disgusted by Dean’s words, Sam replied, “Stuff like this doesn’t happen. It’s great that you’re pregnant and I want to be happy, but this shouldn’t be happening.”
“Sam, I get the denial. I really do. The first few weeks of the pregnancy, I lived in fear of what was growing inside me. I read pregnancy books that had me apologizing for every wrong thing I’ve said or done to a woman. I spent weeks in panic trying to find a doctor who would be willing to help me. I know you fear what this pregnancy means to us, but suck it up Sam.”
“Please tell me you have a doctor,” Sam asked.
“I’ve found two great doctors.”
“Where do they practice? Do they actually have any idea what they are doing? Can they be trusted? Do they know about the supernatural? Do they know I’m the father?” Sam demanded, rambling off all his questions at once.
“Casthias Clinic. It’s not that far from Mexico. Yes, Yes, Yes and Yes.’ Dean replied giving short answers to what could be complicated ones.
“How can they know what they are doing? Male pregnancy isn’t exactly common.” Sam said.
“One of the doctors was pregnant,” Dean informed.
“How?” Sam asked. He wanted to know how it was possible for a man to be pregnant and it wasn’t world breaking news.
“One of the doctors was testing this drug for preventing miscarriage in women on monkeys. The test funding was cut, but doctors Arbogast and Heese were unwilling to stop. They implanted a fertilized egg in Doctor Heese and they kept testing this drug on him. The drug test was successful and nine months later he had a girl,” Dean said.
“Are you sure they can be trusted?” Sam asked doubtfully.
Remembering the way Angela had calmly asked him about supernatural creatures he replied, “I’m sure.”
“What about me? How well did they react to the news I am the baby’s dad?” Sam asked.
“They were more concerned about the baby’s health. Angela kept telling me I should tell you about the baby.”
“Angela?” Sam prompted. He wasn’t going to get jealous at the mention of a woman’s name. He had no right to question Dean about the women in his life.
“Angela is Doctor Arbogast wife. She has been the person I talk to about the weirder side of this pregnancy. Are you happy I’m pregnant or do I have to get the shotgun?” Dean asked.
With his first real smile since finding out about the pregnancy and regaining some of his memories Sam said, “I’m leaving college. I’ve already done enough to complete a year’s study. I can always go back when our baby is old enough to start kindergarten. I’ll even get a job.”
“Sam, have you put any real thought into those plans? You can’t leave college. It’s sweet, but naïve if you honestly believe those plans are actually going to work,” Dean said.
“I want to be there for our child,” Sam said.
“In the last few minutes you have gone between disgust and acceptance when it comes to the baby. I don’t think you even know what having this baby means,” Dean said.
“You have had nearly seven months to get used to having this child. I’ve had just a few minutes. Having this baby means our lives will change. We won’t be able to hunt like we used to. We will have to settle down.”
Getting up from the bed so he could ease the pressure on his back and get a little distance from Sam, Dean said, “You keep making plans for a family life like it’s a normal, everyday event. It would be great to have a life like that, but it’s not going to happen. We hunt the supernatural Sam. The name Winchester is both feared and respected in equal measure. Our child will be on the hit list of every paranormal creature that you can think of and some that you can't. If you think that we can have a normal life you are more naïve than I thought.”
“I just want us to be happy. I want to enjoy life as a new parent. That isn’t naïve, it’s hopeful,” Sam said.
“Tell me what you want from life Sam. Tell me what you would do if this baby didn’t exist. Would you still be here?” Dean asked.
Part 11 B