Kyle makes ratatouille. I make a bowl of rice.
In a fit of laziness, I decided to eat a bowl of rice for dinner. I didn't even make it--it was just there-- but I'm going to criticise it anyway because that's what the internet is for. Then I'm going to watch this here video of Alicia Keys just because she's, like, the bangin-est chick ever, and go back to sleep. Way to go, Thursday.
IBERIA brand Arroz Amarillo is the worst "spanish style" yellow rice I've ever had.
[NO IMAGE! FAIL!]
It's so bad that I can't even find a picture of the box in 3-minute Google search. Since I'm too lazy to make dinner, I'm certainly not about to go through the work of taking a picture and uploading it. Enjoy this MSpaint rendition instead:
Severely lacking in both flavor and little red bits, IBERIA brand yellow rice has way too many little green bits, so many that I'm starting to think that they taste like something, possibly scallions. It also has an after-taste not dissimilar from CRUSH orange soda; I assume that it is the taste of Yellow, numbers 5 and 6.
Also, IBERIA lies, lies, and then when they're done, they lie some more. Even though the box says "Microwaveable", you should know that it is not, despite the rice being parboiled. Vegetarian consumers should also know that despite appearing to contain nothing but rice and food coloring, IBERIA brand yellow rice is not vegetarian-friendly as one of its ingredients is "chicken flavors" (I didn't know that there was more than one chicken flavor...which one tastes most like chicken?). It is possible that these are simply the flavors of chicken and not their slaughtered carcasses, but we can't take a chance with things like this! The folks at IBERIA clearly have no scruples.
Lastly, I'm mad that their serving suggestion is--wait for it--on a plate. With a fork. And a sprig of PARSLEY!? Really, IBERIA? If my broke ass is eating a two-dollar box of "microwaveable" insta-rice, why would you suggest that I go buy some fresh parsley to go with this sham of a meal? According to the ingredients, this shit already contains dried parsley, so why would I go and add some more? Maybe to cover up that yellow after-taste.
VIGO brand yellow rice is far superior and has way more of those little red things in it and some little black things, too, so eat that instead.
IBERIA brand Arroz Amarillo is the worst "spanish style" yellow rice I've ever had.
[NO IMAGE! FAIL!]
It's so bad that I can't even find a picture of the box in 3-minute Google search. Since I'm too lazy to make dinner, I'm certainly not about to go through the work of taking a picture and uploading it. Enjoy this MSpaint rendition instead:
Severely lacking in both flavor and little red bits, IBERIA brand yellow rice has way too many little green bits, so many that I'm starting to think that they taste like something, possibly scallions. It also has an after-taste not dissimilar from CRUSH orange soda; I assume that it is the taste of Yellow, numbers 5 and 6.
Also, IBERIA lies, lies, and then when they're done, they lie some more. Even though the box says "Microwaveable", you should know that it is not, despite the rice being parboiled. Vegetarian consumers should also know that despite appearing to contain nothing but rice and food coloring, IBERIA brand yellow rice is not vegetarian-friendly as one of its ingredients is "chicken flavors" (I didn't know that there was more than one chicken flavor...which one tastes most like chicken?). It is possible that these are simply the flavors of chicken and not their slaughtered carcasses, but we can't take a chance with things like this! The folks at IBERIA clearly have no scruples.
Lastly, I'm mad that their serving suggestion is--wait for it--on a plate. With a fork. And a sprig of PARSLEY!? Really, IBERIA? If my broke ass is eating a two-dollar box of "microwaveable" insta-rice, why would you suggest that I go buy some fresh parsley to go with this sham of a meal? According to the ingredients, this shit already contains dried parsley, so why would I go and add some more? Maybe to cover up that yellow after-taste.
VIGO brand yellow rice is far superior and has way more of those little red things in it and some little black things, too, so eat that instead.