Bitter diatribe #1,223: The Not-Death of... JEFF FUCKIN' GOLDBLUM!
Someone said that Jeff Goldblum was dead and that was not cool because he is not. Actually, it's just rude.
I don't know what he's doing or about to do in this picture, but it could be anything and I'm 100% sure that that anything was awesome.
Farrah Fawcett remains off of my radar or, at most, a measly 5% on my "Percentage of Rat's Ass Given" pie chart. (See Figure 1.)
For the record, Cleopatra Candy's gummi bears are the most delicious gummi bears in existence. Why? Because they come in what appears to be about a dozen or so distinct flavors (including GRAPEFUIT! and KIWI! and BUBBLE GUM!) and are the chewiest and freshest tasting. If only they sold them in other places aside from the Western Beef near my house... I'm almost inspired to write a letter to Cleopatra Candy to ask them for a lifetime's supply in exchange for an appropriate amount of internet peddling. The word must be spread, but I don't work for free.
I find the lack of concern people have for the true ramifications of Michael Jackson's death a little shocking. Yeah, it sucks that he died and it also sucks that he will no longer make any music or do any shows, but on that same token, he hadn't been putting out anything good for a while now. Speaking as a cold consumer of music, his death does not concern me in that regard. What does concern me presently is his unsettled spirit.
I pity the fools who have double-crossed Michael Jackson at any point during his life. His ghost is going to haunt them like whoa. Can you imagine getting in your car to go to work (or wherever...financial crisis...) and MJ suddenly appearing, fucking up your shit, then turning into a panther and walking away. Because he can do that now. He already blew up the internet in his passing.
Godspeed, Jacko. I hope that you strike fear in the hearts of your enemies. Now let's enjoy what is still my favorite music video of all time:
Fuckin' awesome.
I don't know what he's doing or about to do in this picture, but it could be anything and I'm 100% sure that that anything was awesome.
Farrah Fawcett remains off of my radar or, at most, a measly 5% on my "Percentage of Rat's Ass Given" pie chart. (See Figure 1.)
For the record, Cleopatra Candy's gummi bears are the most delicious gummi bears in existence. Why? Because they come in what appears to be about a dozen or so distinct flavors (including GRAPEFUIT! and KIWI! and BUBBLE GUM!) and are the chewiest and freshest tasting. If only they sold them in other places aside from the Western Beef near my house... I'm almost inspired to write a letter to Cleopatra Candy to ask them for a lifetime's supply in exchange for an appropriate amount of internet peddling. The word must be spread, but I don't work for free.
I find the lack of concern people have for the true ramifications of Michael Jackson's death a little shocking. Yeah, it sucks that he died and it also sucks that he will no longer make any music or do any shows, but on that same token, he hadn't been putting out anything good for a while now. Speaking as a cold consumer of music, his death does not concern me in that regard. What does concern me presently is his unsettled spirit.
I pity the fools who have double-crossed Michael Jackson at any point during his life. His ghost is going to haunt them like whoa. Can you imagine getting in your car to go to work (or wherever...financial crisis...) and MJ suddenly appearing, fucking up your shit, then turning into a panther and walking away. Because he can do that now. He already blew up the internet in his passing.
Godspeed, Jacko. I hope that you strike fear in the hearts of your enemies. Now let's enjoy what is still my favorite music video of all time:
Click to viewFuckin' awesome.