The next person who says "Twitter" is going to get a nasty little surprise...
Nah, they won't. I keed.
Livejournal has been missing from my life... I haven't been on here since Election Day, which means that I know almost no celebrity gossip that has occurred in the past 4.5 months, which is really the most disturbing part of all of this.
Speaking of celebrity gossip, I saw Kevin Bacon today. Scratch that. That's not gossip since gossip would require that someone cares.
BAM! ROASTED!
Nah, that's mean; I shouldn't make fun of somebody after Bernie Madoff stole all of their money. Sucks!
Back to Twitter. Everyone and their momma has one, so I figured that I'd try to get into it. But really, it's kind of just like a stripped-down Facebook feed, so I'm not sure I get it. It's like the Tamagotchi of the late 2000s: totally pointless, not that fun or interesting, yet everyone has one.
Then again, I didn't see the point of YouTube when that started, but just look atty now. If I knew anything about how to rule the internet, I'd be rich. And my blog would have a way cooler layout.
The one thing I will give Twitter credit for is saying that you're "following" someone rather than that you're their "friend", because you're probably not, thus preventing hipsters having a conversation about who's really your "friend" on Twitter. And anything that prevents hipsters from having conversations is a wonderful invention. I also like that you don't get to say much in a post (what is it called again? a tweet? Whatever. I hate made-up terminology that isn't self-explanatory. Anyway...). I need to practice being terse...Annnd...
One thing I don't like is that Twitter is linked to your Gmail. So now my Twitter thing is private because I don't want people I email about serious business to read the garbage I put on my Twitter thing until it's mad funny. This? This I don't care about. Nor do I care about facebook. If I didn't want anyone to find me on the internet, I wouldn't be putting my shit up on it. And that comment also goes to anyone who got all Up in Arms over them Facebook user agreement shenanigans... I mean, really. Are these the same people who also claim they didn't know that you can just save anyone's pictures to your own computer? Because you can. And I do. Then I add boogers, moustaches and lightning in Photoshop and email the improved photos to other people. Har, har, har. Somewhere out there--on a complete stranger's computer--there's a photo of you in a top hat stepping in poo and smoking a joint. I, for one, am okay with that.
Lastly, wanna read a good book? Read The Book of Night Women by Marlon James.
I'm not being paid to say this; if I were, I'd be on this jammy advertising mad books, like, every single day. The Book of Night Women was actually a really great book. I won't tell you about the plot since that's what the damn link is there for, however, I will say that you should probably only read it if you don't mind truly foul language or being in a state of mild nausea. It's just that good. The other day, the author was in the office across from my cubicle and I met him briefly since he wanted one of our "Books for Boys" posters, but I was too awkward to try to get my book signed. Out of all the authors I've had the chance to meet, I haven't been able to ask a single one to sign my books. Fail.
But actually lastly: I got some cats since I last updated. Mulder and Scully. They're about 4.5 months old. (OMGGGG, they were born on OBAMA DAY!!!!2131blah. I'm so glad they didn't end up getting named Barack and Michelle, even if it would have been entirely appropriate.) These cats are awesome. Too bad their crap smells like a thousand corpses.
Livejournal has been missing from my life... I haven't been on here since Election Day, which means that I know almost no celebrity gossip that has occurred in the past 4.5 months, which is really the most disturbing part of all of this.
Speaking of celebrity gossip, I saw Kevin Bacon today. Scratch that. That's not gossip since gossip would require that someone cares.
BAM! ROASTED!
Nah, that's mean; I shouldn't make fun of somebody after Bernie Madoff stole all of their money. Sucks!
Back to Twitter. Everyone and their momma has one, so I figured that I'd try to get into it. But really, it's kind of just like a stripped-down Facebook feed, so I'm not sure I get it. It's like the Tamagotchi of the late 2000s: totally pointless, not that fun or interesting, yet everyone has one.
Then again, I didn't see the point of YouTube when that started, but just look atty now. If I knew anything about how to rule the internet, I'd be rich. And my blog would have a way cooler layout.
The one thing I will give Twitter credit for is saying that you're "following" someone rather than that you're their "friend", because you're probably not, thus preventing hipsters having a conversation about who's really your "friend" on Twitter. And anything that prevents hipsters from having conversations is a wonderful invention. I also like that you don't get to say much in a post (what is it called again? a tweet? Whatever. I hate made-up terminology that isn't self-explanatory. Anyway...). I need to practice being terse...Annnd...
One thing I don't like is that Twitter is linked to your Gmail. So now my Twitter thing is private because I don't want people I email about serious business to read the garbage I put on my Twitter thing until it's mad funny. This? This I don't care about. Nor do I care about facebook. If I didn't want anyone to find me on the internet, I wouldn't be putting my shit up on it. And that comment also goes to anyone who got all Up in Arms over them Facebook user agreement shenanigans... I mean, really. Are these the same people who also claim they didn't know that you can just save anyone's pictures to your own computer? Because you can. And I do. Then I add boogers, moustaches and lightning in Photoshop and email the improved photos to other people. Har, har, har. Somewhere out there--on a complete stranger's computer--there's a photo of you in a top hat stepping in poo and smoking a joint. I, for one, am okay with that.
Lastly, wanna read a good book? Read The Book of Night Women by Marlon James.
I'm not being paid to say this; if I were, I'd be on this jammy advertising mad books, like, every single day. The Book of Night Women was actually a really great book. I won't tell you about the plot since that's what the damn link is there for, however, I will say that you should probably only read it if you don't mind truly foul language or being in a state of mild nausea. It's just that good. The other day, the author was in the office across from my cubicle and I met him briefly since he wanted one of our "Books for Boys" posters, but I was too awkward to try to get my book signed. Out of all the authors I've had the chance to meet, I haven't been able to ask a single one to sign my books. Fail.
But actually lastly: I got some cats since I last updated. Mulder and Scully. They're about 4.5 months old. (OMGGGG, they were born on OBAMA DAY!!!!2131blah. I'm so glad they didn't end up getting named Barack and Michelle, even if it would have been entirely appropriate.) These cats are awesome. Too bad their crap smells like a thousand corpses.