And today..
I love days off. But I never use them to their full potential, that will always drive me insane. I stayed up til 3 last night smoking and drinking the rest of the brandy from my previous post. My drinking is triggered by emotional conflicts with girls. I figured it out! I waited up til 10.30 last night for Sarah to text me to say she was home so I could go over. But she messaged me at 11 saying her brother had come home early and no one was allowed over. I saw it coming a mile off. She always seems to cancel on me in the last minute and it fucking sucks every time. I've hung out with her once since Reading and that was only for like an hour or so before she had to go to work. This sounds so bad, but I really don't believe alot of things she says. Dom dumped her at Reading and she was so cool with it and ran right over to me and kissed me. Naturally, I thought this would mean that we'd be going, but nah. After Dom then went spastic at me even though really, I hadn't done anything wrong (that he knows of), Sarah started crying on my lap. I've never been so self controlled when I've wanted to hit someone.. and really if Sarah hadn't been on my lap, I know I would have. I eventually walked away, after Fiona gave me a lecture about cheating on people, oh the irony! I really should have said something there, but I was the bigger person in that case. I walked off. Yes, Lee Anthony, walked away from a fight. I was amazed anyway. I talked to Frankie for hours and we really did deepen our friendship that night over a bottle of Mickey Finns. So here's where I turn into a total shit..
So I went back to J-Town, the camp where Johnny and the guys that don't know me, but were fucking awesome to me for the whole weekend were. I started talking to Dianne, this 23 year old New Zealander who was camped next to them. And we had seriously only talked the night before and I thought she was kind of cool right, but didn't feel much of a spark. As soon as I litterally sat down next to her, she practically jumped on me. We just started making out. I have to admit, alcohol did play a large part of it, definately on her side and somewhat on mine. But I was so angry at the Sarah/Dom thing I just went with it. Then after a while someone said "Ugh! Get a room! Or a tent at least.." I honestly didn't expect Dianne's reply.
"Can we go back to your tent?" I have no idea why I said yes. I should have said no. But it's impossible to in that situation.
I couldn't just open with 'Well you see, I kinda have an on/off girlfriend kind of thing who's currently begging her ex for forgiveness over in Green camp and she may turn up at any point'.. you see my point?
But anyway, we went back to my tent. I've never been so scared that someone would walk in on me during sex. I was petrified the entire time and I totally kept thinking of Sarah as bad as that is. After all of that, I couldn't sleep. I didn't sleep all night for the fear of being caught. I was so relieved in the morning when she left and I 'got away with it' so to speak. But now Reading is over I have a bit of a dilema..
I have two girls I could potentially focus on.
Sarah, who has shown herself to be totally unreliable, really shown her age but at the same time, I fucking love her. I really do, she is what got me over Carly and when it's just me and her I feel totally amazing or..
Dianne, the 23 year old funny as fuck, pretty damn cool girl with the hot accent, that lives in London has a proper life and I know it'd have to be a proper relationship and really one I can't afford to have. Both money wise and emotionally right now..
Oh and to anyone that does read this, I got a job in Morrisons and decided not to go to uni, cos I'd have to do four years, including a year at college in Herts. Can't afford it.
So I went back to J-Town, the camp where Johnny and the guys that don't know me, but were fucking awesome to me for the whole weekend were. I started talking to Dianne, this 23 year old New Zealander who was camped next to them. And we had seriously only talked the night before and I thought she was kind of cool right, but didn't feel much of a spark. As soon as I litterally sat down next to her, she practically jumped on me. We just started making out. I have to admit, alcohol did play a large part of it, definately on her side and somewhat on mine. But I was so angry at the Sarah/Dom thing I just went with it. Then after a while someone said "Ugh! Get a room! Or a tent at least.." I honestly didn't expect Dianne's reply.
"Can we go back to your tent?" I have no idea why I said yes. I should have said no. But it's impossible to in that situation.
I couldn't just open with 'Well you see, I kinda have an on/off girlfriend kind of thing who's currently begging her ex for forgiveness over in Green camp and she may turn up at any point'.. you see my point?
But anyway, we went back to my tent. I've never been so scared that someone would walk in on me during sex. I was petrified the entire time and I totally kept thinking of Sarah as bad as that is. After all of that, I couldn't sleep. I didn't sleep all night for the fear of being caught. I was so relieved in the morning when she left and I 'got away with it' so to speak. But now Reading is over I have a bit of a dilema..
I have two girls I could potentially focus on.
Sarah, who has shown herself to be totally unreliable, really shown her age but at the same time, I fucking love her. I really do, she is what got me over Carly and when it's just me and her I feel totally amazing or..
Dianne, the 23 year old funny as fuck, pretty damn cool girl with the hot accent, that lives in London has a proper life and I know it'd have to be a proper relationship and really one I can't afford to have. Both money wise and emotionally right now..
Oh and to anyone that does read this, I got a job in Morrisons and decided not to go to uni, cos I'd have to do four years, including a year at college in Herts. Can't afford it.