Wow.
So, I was messing around here in the wonderful world wide web, and I remembered that I had a live journal. I figured I go check it out, since it’s been so long. Wow. It’s definitely been quite a while. Especially reading some of the stuff I’ve put up there. Damn I was pretty lame. I suppose I still am...but meh. I now have my own apartment, and I don’t know how I was even able to survive living a whole year with roommates. Don’t get me wrong, I love them both, but it’s almost as bad as living at home, I said ALMOST!
I saw a friend this evening that I haven’t seen in over a year. It’s interesting how much change you don’t realize about yourself until you see someone you haven’t seen in so long. Not only did I learn how things have changed for him, but his reaction to me and everything around me showed me a lot. First of all my appearance. About 3 years ago I was a completely person. It’s amazing how much moving out of your parents’ house can change you. I feel that being in a relationship can make a major impact as well. Not too long before Ian and I started dating I had a very low self esteem, and had a few other issues I need to break through. Since then I have definitely come out of my shell. I now live on my own, and run my own life. I dress much better, I talk to people I don’t know, ill go out and do more things alone, and I have a tattoo! These are all things the Kristin 3 years ago would have never been caught doing.
I should feel good about my self. I grew up, moved out and live my life like a responsible adult, well...for the most part. Especially with all the horrible shit my mother put me through, I learned from her childish mistakes, I NEVER want to end up like her. Thank god I was naive enough to not know what she was doing when I was little, but damn her for realizing it later on in life. But enough of that, that’s a big scary void I don’t think even I can handle to enter. But back to my point here, with everything I’ve done, and how I haven’t let anything pull me down I should feel good about myself...
Why do I still feel empty?
I saw a friend this evening that I haven’t seen in over a year. It’s interesting how much change you don’t realize about yourself until you see someone you haven’t seen in so long. Not only did I learn how things have changed for him, but his reaction to me and everything around me showed me a lot. First of all my appearance. About 3 years ago I was a completely person. It’s amazing how much moving out of your parents’ house can change you. I feel that being in a relationship can make a major impact as well. Not too long before Ian and I started dating I had a very low self esteem, and had a few other issues I need to break through. Since then I have definitely come out of my shell. I now live on my own, and run my own life. I dress much better, I talk to people I don’t know, ill go out and do more things alone, and I have a tattoo! These are all things the Kristin 3 years ago would have never been caught doing.
I should feel good about my self. I grew up, moved out and live my life like a responsible adult, well...for the most part. Especially with all the horrible shit my mother put me through, I learned from her childish mistakes, I NEVER want to end up like her. Thank god I was naive enough to not know what she was doing when I was little, but damn her for realizing it later on in life. But enough of that, that’s a big scary void I don’t think even I can handle to enter. But back to my point here, with everything I’ve done, and how I haven’t let anything pull me down I should feel good about myself...
Why do I still feel empty?