(no subject)
as a response to my last entry. its not that i am really sad right now or depressed. i appritiate you guys caring and i should take advantage of you guys being there more often by picking up the dumb phone. hehe
its more like i think back to when i was a sophmore and late freshman year, when i was just a very happy and upbeat person. it seemed like nothing could get me down. i mean things went wrong, all the time. but i had this tendency to live by those corny lines like "it could be worse" and "at least i am alive" i was always very hopeful. and it didn't matter what happened, i could always see the good that came out of it or the good that would come later. now i feel like no matter how much i strive to go back to that place i can't, and in some ways that is a good thing because it proves that i am always changing. i am just a different person then i used to be. and thats fine. sure its frustrating that i cant be as happy as i used to be. but that doesn't mean that i am always sad. i just figure that i need to accept the fact that i can't always be happy like i used to. and thats fine. if i stop striving to be always happy then i will stop getting frustrated because i can't get there again. its not ment to be depressing. its just who i am now. and thats fine.
its more like i think back to when i was a sophmore and late freshman year, when i was just a very happy and upbeat person. it seemed like nothing could get me down. i mean things went wrong, all the time. but i had this tendency to live by those corny lines like "it could be worse" and "at least i am alive" i was always very hopeful. and it didn't matter what happened, i could always see the good that came out of it or the good that would come later. now i feel like no matter how much i strive to go back to that place i can't, and in some ways that is a good thing because it proves that i am always changing. i am just a different person then i used to be. and thats fine. sure its frustrating that i cant be as happy as i used to be. but that doesn't mean that i am always sad. i just figure that i need to accept the fact that i can't always be happy like i used to. and thats fine. if i stop striving to be always happy then i will stop getting frustrated because i can't get there again. its not ment to be depressing. its just who i am now. and thats fine.