All bout Love
There are times when I'm nervous or excited that I'm just about to burst...and then 30 minutes later I'm the complete opposite and I'd rather not be in love. I'd rather lose hope or I am losing hope in the emotions I feel. And those times I wish the world would just go away and leave me. But then there are those times where all I want to do is be next to someone I love and never leave their side. It makes me upset that I feel both ways and never just one. But I guess that means I won't explode.
There are times where you are completely in love and all you think about is love and all you do is about this love. Wondering, hoping, dreaming, missing key notes in class because of daydreaming. Your world revolves solely on expressing your love to everyone around you and to that one special person. But then as the pain of love and the heavy heart grows harder and harder to bear...you think. So Elissa, what is it? Do you choose to love or not to love? To experience this moment set before you or run away. Yeah that's right baby, all you want to do is run away. You're afraid and you constantly think about if he'll ever like you back the same way. You're too impatient and want it now. But your love is deep within the heart and you wonder why your instincts lead you to someone who seems to not like you back. Constantly you'll hit yourself over the head for being stupid and tell yourself these feelings are wrong. But inside you will cry, because you really do feel these feelings, have no control over them...and you don't want to be the only one in the world feeling them. Anger feeds off your loneliness and fuels your negative energy...driving the people you love away from you even more. How could you be so selfish and stupid, Elissa? Later...you start to feel sorrow and cry silent tears as you realize the faults you did. You wish you never did them and you can't help but wallow in this sense of sorrow, anger, and loneliness.
And then the only reason you think of is "I want to be loved." But aren't you loved? but then you remind yourself..."No one loves me...not as a friend or a child but as a partner." And then you become silent and think silently to yourself. Your mind drifts off and you slip into a state of non-existence.
A ritual you do so often...that you still have yet to break it.
There are times where you are completely in love and all you think about is love and all you do is about this love. Wondering, hoping, dreaming, missing key notes in class because of daydreaming. Your world revolves solely on expressing your love to everyone around you and to that one special person. But then as the pain of love and the heavy heart grows harder and harder to bear...you think. So Elissa, what is it? Do you choose to love or not to love? To experience this moment set before you or run away. Yeah that's right baby, all you want to do is run away. You're afraid and you constantly think about if he'll ever like you back the same way. You're too impatient and want it now. But your love is deep within the heart and you wonder why your instincts lead you to someone who seems to not like you back. Constantly you'll hit yourself over the head for being stupid and tell yourself these feelings are wrong. But inside you will cry, because you really do feel these feelings, have no control over them...and you don't want to be the only one in the world feeling them. Anger feeds off your loneliness and fuels your negative energy...driving the people you love away from you even more. How could you be so selfish and stupid, Elissa? Later...you start to feel sorrow and cry silent tears as you realize the faults you did. You wish you never did them and you can't help but wallow in this sense of sorrow, anger, and loneliness.
And then the only reason you think of is "I want to be loved." But aren't you loved? but then you remind yourself..."No one loves me...not as a friend or a child but as a partner." And then you become silent and think silently to yourself. Your mind drifts off and you slip into a state of non-existence.
A ritual you do so often...that you still have yet to break it.