under the weather

[clararoseliz]

blarrrg! under the weather. im at work now, posting on my phone, so please excuse the poor capitalization. i am really just not feeling good today. got some stuff weighing on my mind, maybe that's what did it. in any case, my head is all fuzzy and unfocused today. i do NOT need to be here. and i kinda wish certain people would talk to me but im trying to come to terms with the fact that they are not. i daresay it hurts. and the attempted suppression of these thoughts and feelings may well have been what done me in! i would just love so much to go back. im looking for meaning in recent events, and i have found some, but the larger events still baffle me. years in the making must make for longer periods of introspection. its baffling though that such short events can uplift and then hurt so much. but i know ill make it somehow. its just a question of when and how. i just gotta say im tired of crying. tired of feeling unwell. having feelings of alienation and loss. blah blah blah. what's next to come? how much longer til im ready to feel happy again? im waiting.

oh and i apologize for the overall vague and pretentious nature of this post. my sinuses are congested with emo and goth mucus.

blarrrgh!!!